Looking for support coming to terms with mothers diagnosis

[Kingaling]

Hi all

I find myself on here looking for some support. My mum was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 6 weeks ago. She only turned 67 three weeks ago so she’s young.

For the last few years I’ve been concerned about her memory and she received a diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment 2 years ago. After I noticed it getting worse at the end of last year we went private and she had a lumbar puncture and they confirmed it was Alzheimer’s. It feels devastating for the family. My dad is not an emotional man and so he struggles to articulate how he feels instead feeling he has to just be strong. My brothers are supportive but I’m the only daughter and mum has always relied on me for emotional support.

She’s in the early stages and so I’m just trying to savour every moment while she’s still very present. But I’m finding that I feel so incredibly angry. I’m consumed with anger. We are incredibly close and I’m so sad she has this diagnosis. I suppose I’m wondering how people deal with the anger? And how do you stay present? I find myself running away with thoughts of the future and what it holds...

 

[Cat27]

Welcome to DTP @Kingaling.
A dementia diagnosis is devastating for the whole family. I remember being angry that my Dad had it.
Please keep posting as you’ll get lots of support here.

 

[Shedrech]

hello @Kingaling
a warm welcome to DTP
you've found exactly the place to come for support from folk who understand
your mum's diagnosis is so recent that in many ways you are grieving, and anger is one of the emotions tangled up with grief ... give yourself time and you will find your way through
you're wise to make the most of your time together, enjoy and make memories, they will sustain you through this shared journey
keep posting, it helps to share experiences

 

[Nodrog]

Hello, i am new to this forum. My dad 93 was diagnosed with vascular dementia. He is in early stages but i feel so lost and alone. The clinic he attended were not supportive at all so i really dont know where to start helping him. Just a chat with anyone that feels the same.

 

[Shedrech]

hello @Nodrog
and welcome to DTP
have a mooch round the forums here as there's lots of useful info that may help you support your dad
there's also the main AS site ... here's a link to the directory of local services, so you can check up on what's available in your area
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you
when you're ready, start a thread with any questions you have and members will pop in with suggestions

 

[Cat27]

Hello, i am new to this forum. My dad 93 was diagnosed with vascular dementia. He is in early stages but i feel so lost and alone. The clinic he attended were not supportive at all so i really dont know where to start helping him. Just a chat with anyone that feels the same.

Welcome to DTP @Nodrog. There are lots of people to chat with here.

 

[nellbelles]

Hello @Nodrog and welcome from me as well
It’s a friendly forum and I’m sure you will have much support
The Alzheimer’s society produce fact sheets if you need more information this is the link
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/publications-factsheets

 

[Donkeyshere]

I think at the beginning we are angry because no one ever asks for this - if I have one piece of advice, don;t wait speak to someone or bottle things up, find a support group. Everyone deals with things differently and its completely normal to feel angry, just try not to let it take over everything or you will wear yourself out. Find support as soon as you can, even if its early days an hours worth of support, is worth its weight in gold. Remember, even though it feels like you are on your own, you are not.

 

[Kingaling]

Thanks so much for all of your support. @Donkeyshere where would I find a support group? I have friends that are helping but I don’t really feel people understand it. I’m in my early 30s and have just had a baby & it just feels so unfair that this is happening now. I’ve always been so close to my mum and confided in her and I think it’s really hard to not confide in her with this. I don’t want to burden her with my fears about it all as I know she’s so scared herself!

 

[Shedrech]

hi @Kingaling
try your council's website
and this link will help
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

 

[Donkeyshere]

Thanks so much for all of your support. @Donkeyshere where would I find a support group? I have friends that are helping but I don’t really feel people understand it. I’m in my early 30s and have just had a baby & it just feels so unfair that this is happening now. I’ve always been so close to my mum and confided in her and I think it’s really hard to not confide in her with this. I don’t want to burden her with my fears about it all as I know she’s so scared herself!

Thanks to Shredech for the links but also what about just facebook "carers support group" and pop your area (PS congratulations on the new baby).