1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

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Looking for some home assistance

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Uptonl, Aug 14, 2015.

  1. Uptonl

    Uptonl Registered User

    hi everyone, I am new to TP. I help my sister with the care of my 96 year old Mum who has dementia. Mum started showing signs of dementia 1998/99. She went to live with my sister in 2002 to Wigan, Lancs and I moved up in 2005. Mum used to spend sometime with my other sister down in Wales to give us some respite, but since early 2014 when my sister in Wales showed us she couldn't cope with Mum it's been 24/7 for my sister up here. I have acute kidney disease and need dialysis 3 times a week so can only go and help on Tues, Thursday and weekends. It's a lot of pressure on my sister and mum has gone downhill this past year. Just 10 days ago she wouldn't communicate, eyes closed, wouldn't eat, drink very difficult to know what was going on for her. Then last Sunday, she smiled in the morning, talked in her own way to us. Wanted to eat, appreciated the food said 'oh that's lovely' and started singing to the music we put on for her. We are looking for respite maybe a week and we have some places in mind. But what my sister really wants is 2 things -: help with showering and having someone to come in and sit with Mum either in the morning or the afternoon.

    So sorry for this long diatribe but is there anyone who is in our area that can help by pointing us in the right direction? We contacted an agency but they said they could not accommodate us. Obviously we understand Mum has to pay, that is not a problem all we are asking for is a minimum of support. An hour every 2 weeks to help showering and someone to sit with Mum maybe once or twice a week for an afternoon. Has anyone any ideas? Thanks if you have read this bearing with me.
  2. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    #2 Beate, Aug 14, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2015
    You should get social services to give both of them assessments. Sitting service is available through Age UK and other charities but at least in our borough, social services pick up the tab after the initial six weeks if they agree. So an assessment is vital. You could also look into day care, plus they should be able to supply you with a list of care agencies, whether you are self-funding or not.
    Good luck. There is support out there but you have to ask for it.
  3. Uptonl

    Uptonl Registered User

    #3 Uptonl, Aug 14, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2015
    Thanks Beate. It was one of the care agencies that said they could not accommodate us, whether that was because we only asking for an hour every fortnight for the showering and they thought it was not worth their while or its true they can't accommodate such a short time but no reason was given. Age UK is the next on the list for the sitting service. At the moment we are concentrating on getting Mum into a place for a week just for my sister to have respite and if we do find a place just going to bite the bullet and hope she'll be ok. Day care is out of the question now, mum is too fragile to go out and to get her there at the time they specify is just nor realistic. We've been there done it and that was when she was much better than she is now. Thanks for replying much appreciated.

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