Looking for input

[janicek55]

My husband was diagnosed with " very early dementia " over a year ago , PET scan indicates Alzheimer's. Lately he has been very moody , and ornery, and it seems I am the one with all the problems. Most of his issues are just getting muddled up. He can still take stuff apart but struggles to put it back together . His words don't come easy, but he knows what he is trying to say and I can usually figure it out.
Today while out for lunch he was drinking a coke and picked up the ketchup bottle and brought it up towards his mouth....he caught himself and put it back down , I said nothing but I am sure my eyes were the size of saucers.
We didn't talk about it again .
Looking for some opinions on this , as we have an appointment with the gerontologist next week and I find it hard to determine if things are getting worse or am I just looking for issues. Do you think the fact that he corrected himself indicates it was just an accident or is this the start of something different.I walk on egg shells 24/7
He is still driving locally and I am dreading if that gets taken away from him although I know it is inevitable !

 

[Caroleca]

Didn't want to read and run....just thought it would be a good idea to record all of those incidents ...so that when you see the doctor you have a record. I'm sure people will be around tomorrow to respond to you. Hugs for now

 

[Izzy]

Good morning. I'm sorry you are worried but do understand.

I agree with Caroleca. Keep a note if anything that concerns you and share this with your medical professional. I used to send my notes to the consultant in advance so that she could consider them before we arrived. If this isn't possible take them along with you.

 

[Lancashire Lou]

Today while out for lunch he was drinking a coke and picked up the ketchup bottle and brought it up towards his mouth....he caught himself and put it back down , I said nothing but I am sure my eyes were the size of saucers.
We didn't talk about it again .

hi. My dad has vascular d (we think) and your situation reminded me of some of the things he does. He doesnt often now realise he is doing something wrong (in eg trying to put his watch round his index finger this weekend), but we just gently steer him (verbally or physically) in the right direction, and we are very lucky in that he allows us to. Im sure you will gradually find your way together as things inevitably progress, and if this was out of character his ketchup incident might just have been one of those moments we can all have! I am no expert, and it is my mum, not me, doing all the day to day hard graft of caring, but my advice would be to share these bits of daftness with humour together while ever you can.
Re the driving, trust your gut as to whether he is still safe, day by day, but if you have any doubt and he is unwilling to stop, contact your GP to invite him in for a chat (lots of advice on here about being sneaky with this if needed) who may tell him to give up. The last thing either of you needs is an accident. Wishing you both all the best. Xx

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Janice

We didn't talk about it again .
!

You did well. There is nothing to gain by pointing out mistakes.

The advice about updating your husband`s doctor in advance of an appointment is something my husband`s doctors appreciated too. It saved embarrassing or contradicting my husband in his presence and gave the doctor both sides of the story.

 

[PalSal]

The suggestion of writing things down is very important.
Perhaps someone will go with you to the appointment...I find going with another family member keeps others in the loop. My two children here have gone to many of the appointments over the years and were with me with the entire process of diagnosis. Their insites have been helpful to medical professionals along the way. And I do not feel like I am supported in my view of the situation.

 

[Roseleigh]

My husband was diagnosed with " very early dementia " over a year ago , PET scan indicates Alzheimer's. Lately he has been very moody , and ornery, and it seems I am the one with all the problems. Most of his issues are just getting muddled up. He can still take stuff apart but struggles to put it back together . His words don't come easy, but he knows what he is trying to say and I can usually figure it out.
Today while out for lunch he was drinking a coke and picked up the ketchup bottle and brought it up towards his mouth....he caught himself and put it back down , I said nothing but I am sure my eyes were the size of saucers.
We didn't talk about it again .
Looking for some opinions on this , as we have an appointment with the gerontologist next week and I find it hard to determine if things are getting worse or am I just looking for issues. Do you think the fact that he corrected himself indicates it was just an accident or is this the start of something different.I walk on egg shells 24/7
He is still driving locally and I am dreading if that gets taken away from him although I know it is inevitable !

My husband was also diagnosed with very early AD at the same time as yours.
Although he was given a medical license for a year I have stopped him driving in the last few months as I just feel if any sudden unexpected events occurred on the road, his judgement isn't there. I would say based on your comment about the ketchup, it might be sensible for your to question your husbands safety to drive too.
I have just taken over all the driving. Let it just happen as it were.

Where does he drive alone? Does he have any need to drive?

 

[janicek55]

My husband was also diagnosed with very early AD at the same time as yours.
Although he was given a medical license for a year I have stopped him driving in the last few months as I just feel if any sudden unexpected events occurred on the road, his judgement isn't there. I would say based on your comment about the ketchup, it might be sensible for your to question your husbands safety to drive too.
I have just taken over all the driving. Let it just happen as it were.

When one of our cars quit working a month or so ago I suggested we go to one car ....saying we could save on insurance . He wouldn't have that , he said he felt like a caged animal. I feel so bad doing this but I have drafted up a letter and am going to try and get it to the specialist before his appointment on Wednesday ....I am dreading this!

 

[margherita]

Today while out for lunch he was drinking a coke and picked up the ketchup bottle and brought it up towards his mouth....he caught himself and put it back down , I said nothing

I find it hard to determine if things are getting worse or am I just looking for issues.

Something similar happened to me some days ago. We were having dinner and watching the news on tv (which I hate) and he poured the oil into his glass instead of his dish .
He too immediatly caught up and went into the kitchen to change glasses.
The same was going to happen on the following day.
I wonder if these are clues to a situation that is getting worse

 

[amandajh]

My husband was diagnosed with early onset AD earlier this year, and really it was just a 'reason' for his strange behaviours, but this last few weeks i have noticed some more changes, he is quite irritable, miserable in fact, he lacks motivation, he washes up under the tap, no fairy liquid, i noticed him showering and not using shower gel and now i feel like i should be watching him all the time and otherwise i don't really know whether he is doing things as he should ..... or does that really matter, should i just leave him be?

As for the driving, everytime i go out with him i think he should not be driving, he is on a 1 year license now, but he refuses to accept there is anything wrong with his driving.

I feel your pain xxx

 

[janicek55]

My husband was diagnosed with early onset AD earlier this year, and really it was just a 'reason' for his strange behaviours, but this last few weeks i have noticed some more changes, he is quite irritable, miserable in fact, he lacks motivation, he washes up under the tap, no fairy liquid, i noticed him showering and not using shower gel and now i feel like i should be watching him all the time and otherwise i don't really know whether he is doing things as he should ..... or does that really matter, should i just leave him be?

As for the driving, everytime i go out with him i think he should not be driving, he is on a 1 year license now, but he refuses to accept there is anything wrong with his driving.

I feel your pain xxx

Well we are definelty at the same stage and sounds like the same temperament! I try very hard to not sweat the small stuff, but it is so hard . I am getting better at it as I found it was driving me more crazy than helping him.
Today is our appointment with the gerontologist and I am terrified as I am
quite sure she will be taking his drivers licence and I am even more sure he is going to go balistic! My stomach is in knots !

 

[janicek55]

Something similar happened to me some days ago. We were having dinner and watching the news on tv (which I hate) and he poured the oil into his glass instead of his dish .
He too immediatly caught up and went into the kitchen to change glasses.
The same was going to happen on the following day.
I wonder if these are clues to a situation that is getting worse

I think they are I have been finding we go along smooth and then things change in bunches!