washing - and some other stuff
Hi, i look after Bill who has AD, he is 92 and i have taken care of him for 8 years. He is able bodied and resents any company in the bathroom, in the early stages it was easy enough to encourage him from the outside of the room, once he was in the bath, popping in for short periods to direct his attention and then leaving him to get it done. Always listning incase something went wrong.
this progressed to getting out of his sight line by standing behind him, as more direction was required. washing took longer now and water temperature had to be monitered closely. Bill was also struggling to get out of the bath now and equipment to aid him was impossible, as with AD he just could not understand what it was for. Washing from the basin became more regular.
Now this is where i strayed from the path a bit and i know some will considder it strange, i needed to work out how to make Bill comfortable with somebody in the bathroom, so we started having morning tea upstairs in the bathroom, i set a small table and we would chat and read the news papers together, eventualy Bill started to regard us being in there together as quite normal and would sometimes come to join me when i was shaving. I would ask him to help me giving him small tasks i knew he could do, such as passing the towel or holding the soap.
Strip washing was now the standard morning routine and a plastic chair was placed in the bathroom and non slip bath mats were placed to cover the entire floor. Bill still washed him-self with direction, i use the process i had introduced some months earlier buy asking him for help. "sorry Bill would you help me, i can't seem to be able reach your leg to give it a wash" being such a sweet old gent he could not wait to assist me. And slowly he accepted me into the process.
We have moved over the years to a complete wet room with wooden furniture as it is easier to dis-infect and clean, and is not as slippery as the plastic. it can also support weight better. Bill is a bit more frail and our strategy has changed. I feel it is still important to include Bill in the process rather than to instruct him, no matter how old i am i will always be his junior, and he will expect the respect that is due to him.
I always hand him a flannel with a bit of soap and he washes away, we chat like when we had tea all those years ago, and i ask if he would like me to wash his back, if he objects i try an arm, when the washing is done i use the shower to rinse the soap, starting where he can see what i am doing and asking if he minds.
Even though Bill is in the advanced stages of AD, has no language skills anymore
I know he can understand me even if he cant tell me that he does.
8 years 24/7 tells me so.
so to sum up this very long story; my advice is this: work with your loved ones not against them or for them,
let them decide how you proceed directly or indirectly. your roll is to interpret them, their personalites and past behaviour are always good indicaters,
Bill was a man used to giving orders not taking them so why should he start now, but he was helpfull and pleasent and using this information has helped me find a way to best care for him.
my wish is that anybody who reads this can draw from it what they need , disregard that which is in excess, adapt what they can and as crazy as it seems enjoy the time they have with those that they love. throw away the rule book;
having breakfast in the conservatory under a full moon is a wonderful experience, especialy in a dinner suit and gum boots.
love peace and light to all
Richard
) - that's always triggered a positive response in my mum - she was never able to reject the evidence. 
