Hi everyone, my name is Antoinette and I have a 91 year old mother who is driving myself and my 3 sisters and brother insane. She has dementia or Alzheimers, we don't know which as the doctors seem reluctant to give a diagnosis, so I am looking for advice from you guys.
Mum lives on her own, refuses any help from carers but is struggling to look after herself and my sister and brother who live half an hour and 45 minutes away pop in almost every day, I live 2 hours away and feel guilty about not seeing her so often. She has to reminded to take her tablets, to eat her food which is delivered by Meals on Wheels. We all work full time and for the last week Mum is ringing each of us 20-30 times a day, leaving voicemails most of the time. She says she is fine but wants to chat, but can't hear, frquently she wants our addresses or phone numbers or even the time. She calls at 3am asking where we are as she was sure we were sleeping at her apartment and have left without saying goodbye, she believes her mother comes to stay and then thinks that she has gone missing and rings us all again. I don't know why I am writing this as it seems crazy, Mum has no friends, doesn't want any, no hobbies except her alcohol. She has failing heart, failing kidneys, damaged liver but still manages to get out on her scooter to buy her alcohol. If we suggest she needs help, gets angry, says she will lock the doors and not let anyone in.
What should we be doing?
Mum lives on her own, refuses any help from carers but is struggling to look after herself and my sister and brother who live half an hour and 45 minutes away pop in almost every day, I live 2 hours away and feel guilty about not seeing her so often. She has to reminded to take her tablets, to eat her food which is delivered by Meals on Wheels. We all work full time and for the last week Mum is ringing each of us 20-30 times a day, leaving voicemails most of the time. She says she is fine but wants to chat, but can't hear, frquently she wants our addresses or phone numbers or even the time. She calls at 3am asking where we are as she was sure we were sleeping at her apartment and have left without saying goodbye, she believes her mother comes to stay and then thinks that she has gone missing and rings us all again. I don't know why I am writing this as it seems crazy, Mum has no friends, doesn't want any, no hobbies except her alcohol. She has failing heart, failing kidneys, damaged liver but still manages to get out on her scooter to buy her alcohol. If we suggest she needs help, gets angry, says she will lock the doors and not let anyone in.
What should we be doing?
