1. Q&A: Medication - Thurs 22nd November, 3-4pm

    Do you have questions about medication and drug treatments for dementia? There's no drug to cure dementia yet, but it's often possible to relieve some symptoms.

    Our next expert Q&A will be hosted by Simon from our Knowledge Services team. He will be answering your questions on Thursday 22nd November from 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Looking for advice on Mum....

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Talking Point' started by Antoinette G, Oct 30, 2018.

  1. Antoinette G

    Antoinette G New member

    Oct 30, 2018
    Hi everyone, my name is Antoinette and I have a 91 year old mother who is driving myself and my 3 sisters and brother insane. She has dementia or Alzheimers, we don't know which as the doctors seem reluctant to give a diagnosis, so I am looking for advice from you guys.
    Mum lives on her own, refuses any help from carers but is struggling to look after herself and my sister and brother who live half an hour and 45 minutes away pop in almost every day, I live 2 hours away and feel guilty about not seeing her so often. She has to reminded to take her tablets, to eat her food which is delivered by Meals on Wheels. We all work full time and for the last week Mum is ringing each of us 20-30 times a day, leaving voicemails most of the time. She says she is fine but wants to chat, but can't hear, frquently she wants our addresses or phone numbers or even the time. She calls at 3am asking where we are as she was sure we were sleeping at her apartment and have left without saying goodbye, she believes her mother comes to stay and then thinks that she has gone missing and rings us all again. I don't know why I am writing this as it seems crazy, Mum has no friends, doesn't want any, no hobbies except her alcohol. She has failing heart, failing kidneys, damaged liver but still manages to get out on her scooter to buy her alcohol. If we suggest she needs help, gets angry, says she will lock the doors and not let anyone in.
    What should we be doing?
  2. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    hello @Antoinette G
    a warm welcome to TP
    honestly, what you describe will be all too familar to many folk here
    the mix of dementia, alcohol and a scooter sounds a pretty big concern to me - is your mum actually safe to be out on the road, or does her scooter need to develop a problem that will require a long stay at a garage to fix as they can't get the parts ....
    do send to her GP a comprehensive list of her behaviours and your concerns so they are fully in the picture - maybe some meds may help her settle
    you can also contact her Local Authority Adult Services and say an assessment of her care needs is urgently needed as she is a 'vulnerable adult' putting herself 'at risk' as she forgets to eat and take medication and the LA have the 'duty of care' to make sure she is safe - a care package should then be put in place with some carer visits to support her
  3. Stayingpositive

    Stayingpositive New member

    Nov 6, 2018
    I share some of the same issues as you with my father, the big question is - does your mother still be seen as having mental capacity? My father apparently does (although he is still able to hide things to professionals) and as such I am told he has the right to refuse help.

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