Looking for a live-in carer / companion

Deebles

Registered User
Dec 27, 2012
5
0
I'm looking to upgrade my Mum's care to a live-in companion. She lives in central London, and her care needs are relatively slight, since she still washes, dresses, feeds herself etc; all she has at the moment is once-daily care visits for medicines prompting and a basic check on her / orientation to the day ahead, plus a cleaner once a week, and me to look after her house, finances, organise the rest of her care etc. in my time off work. The risk is more of her failing to manage social engagements and disconnecting from her friends and activities. She's recently been pushed out of a local group she sings with, and planning any kind of social engagement stresses her out. She still has friends who understand that they will need to meet her at home, and that she's liable to be in a muddle about any and all plans and will call them 20 times to confirm, but it's becoming harder and harder for them to engage with her and vice versa. Also, I'm looking to take more of a step back with a view to myself and my gf moving in together a little further away. She's been resistant to any more care, and we might have to transition in someone just coming in during the evenings... But has anyone else been through this who'd have any tips? Or any advice in particular on where to find a companion / good agencies in London?
 

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
5,734
0
Midlands
The 'go to' place used to be a magazine called '' The Lady''. Its stocked in most places that sell newspapers ( prob supermarkets too).

Towards the back is a classified section- have a look and see if there are any suitable adverts for companions - or take out an advert
 

la lucia

Registered User
Jul 3, 2011
592
0
There's an agency that pairs up people looking for a room with people who need some low-level assistance in the home. I forgot the name but it has had good reviews.

They tend to look for tenants who are not too young - PhD students, etc who want a quiet, discount place to live in return for providing some assistance.

The level of assistance offered is agreed in writing in advance and the tenants are heavily vetted. I believe there's an agreed level of hours (ish).

They don't offer personal care but things like shopping, gardening, maintenance, even reading aloud .... whatever is required.

I think it's a great idea and would have jumped at it when I was a post-grad desperate for a cheap and quiet place to study. They operate in lots of places but I have seen it the most in London.

Might be easier to convince a relative to accept help if they think it's them doing the helping by offering a mature student a home.
 

arielsmelody

Registered User
Jul 16, 2015
515
0
The other thing to try is to look online for a 'personal assistant'. It seems like a strange job title at first, but it includes people who assist someone who is living with a disability. I've also seen jobs advertised on job sites like 'indeed'. Also have you thought about a 'sitting' service - I think Age UK can often help with that.
 

Nut

Registered User
Sep 30, 2013
35
0
Norfolk
Hello,Deebles. I recognise this stage your mother has reached. It is so difficult to keep things going for them. My mother's life slowly collapsed as people began to realise how confused and repetitive she could be. There was a gradual backing off and exclusion from events. A few were real gems, utter stalwarts who understood. When there was a crisis last winter my brother and I appointed a 24hour live in carer via an agency for a while to give us breathing space. While this was an emergency measure & I have no regrets (my mother refused to acknowledge needs, risks,changes etc etc) we did learn that a) agencies are eye wateringly expensive b) staff change regularly. Mum got to know someone quite well then they were off c) you still need to check up on them. One was so stressed by my mother she left (rather affirming for my brother and I - we weren't the only ones!), one was great but left, then another was good spotting medical needs but appalling at housework and cooked **** for Mum.

I think the other ideas posted above are v good. If you appoint someone you remain in control, you set the terms etc. Might work out rather well! Good luck.


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