Looking after Moms money

[Avfcbez]

HI All

i am the POA for my mom who has early on set Alzheimer's, i am concerned that i cant keep an eye on all the money she has,

let me explain.

I have visibility and access to the bank account, although Mom is still self sufficient and still goes shopping for herself and lives on her own and on occasions will with draw money because she believes she may need it.

An instance where a sum of cash has been miss placed which she withdraw and put away starts my concern, followed by a visit from a local who has fell on a little hard time and Mom likes to help.

i know she has helped with food and the odd pound here in the past so how do i protect the cash on hand or in purse especially when she draws out large sum to at least the daily allowance from the ATM and restrict mom to card transaction only.

can remove most of the money from the account if only to reduce the exposure to lose but this does not resolve the issue.

We are also having trouble with the Meds, we have had them in blister packs week and Day indicated on them we phone every day to confirm consumption and visit to see meds taken correctly.

we have found that even with phone calls and visits the MEds are still out of sorts on days with some taken some not.

We have now reverted to paying for a person (family Friend) to go in 6 hrs a week but still the Meds are incorrectly taken?

any info advice, clubs, support, organizations that can help us build a better robust plan would be helpful, or if you have trodden this path and have advice that would be great.

Regards

D

 

[lollyc]

I'm not sure whether the bank will restrict the daily limit your mum can take out with her card, but it's worth finding out. Also a good idea to minimise the amount of money in that account.
You can get an electronic pill dispenser - Pivotell. I haven't had cause to use one, but several people on here have found them useful.
Her local Age UK may run clubs - some dementia specific, some just old age ones. The local council should also have a directory of what groups are running in her area. Many churches and community groups do some really good activities. I'm afraid it's a matter of trawling the internet, but there are things out there.

 

[Emmcee]

Hi there,
With regard to the Meds, the only way my Mum could "almost" manage was when I spoke very nicely to the pharmacist and we got her medication delivered on a Monday morning to start on a Monday morning - effectively she could start at the top and work her way down. Between the pharmacist & GP, her prescription was completely reviewed and also juggled a bit so that all important medication was taken at breakfast time (I would then phone, get her to sit down and talked her through taking her meds. I also positioned one of her orientation clocks within her line of sight when sitting in her chair so that she could check the Nomad and check with her clock ). Although I tried to to the telephone call prompt at other times of day, it was a bit hit/miss but because it wasn't impsortant medication, it wasn't the end of the world.

 

[Avfcbez]

Hi there,
With regard to the Meds, the only way my Mum could "almost" manage was when I spoke very nicely to the pharmacist and we got her medication delivered on a Monday morning to start on a Monday morning - effectively she could start at the top and work her way down. Between the pharmacist & GP, her prescription was completely reviewed and also juggled a bit so that all important medication was taken at breakfast time (I would then phone, get her to sit down and talked her through taking her meds. I also positioned one of her orientation clocks within her line of sight when sitting in her chair so that she could check the Nomad and check with her clock ). Although I tried to to the telephone call prompt at other times of day, it was a bit hit/miss but because it wasn't impsortant medication, it wasn't the end of the world.

HI Emmcee

thanks for the reply,

Yes we also had the meds but into blister packs by Day Monday-Sunday in morning and evening pockets for Mom.

We then brought a huge date Calender digital clock with time, date, morning and evening on and also daily morning and evening prompts via the phone and they still end up in a muddle?

Mom is still very self sufficient and can be a little dogmatic and the phone prompts did not work or not working as she would explain i am having them now but sometimes does not and then forgets.

Other than video calls not sure how we regulate this, is there a service that would do like a drugs round or health visit to support the control?? that you know of.

Moms meds are for blood pressure and memory etc so need to be taken to prolong the onset

regards

D

 

[Avfcbez]

I'm not sure whether the bank will restrict the daily limit your mum can take out with her card, but it's worth finding out. Also a good idea to minimise the amount of money in that account.
You can get an electronic pill dispenser - Pivotell. I haven't had cause to use one, but several people on here have found them useful.
Her local Age UK may run clubs - some dementia specific, some just old age ones. The local council should also have a directory of what groups are running in her area. Many churches and community groups do some really good activities. I'm afraid it's a matter of trawling the internet, but there are things out there.

HI Lolly C

thanks for the reply.

the electronic dispensor sounds like an idea was only discussing this last night as a pipe dream if only there was something like this i will look into it.

The only issue i have is if she doesn't take them and i have a bowl full of Meds at the end of the week

agree we are going to reduce the exposure in the account and if possible but a limit on the cash withdrawals on a daily basis will post on here if successful.

thanks all for the advise and help much needed and appreciated.

Regards

D

 

[Helly68]

@Avfcbez - I think (apologies if this is not what you want to hear) you may be approaching a point where any strategy other than a person standing beside her, watching her take the tablets, may not work.

As an example, my father "fixes" the television wiring, so now it wont work - he takes it to pieces. We are arranging for an aerial company to replace the aerial lead that he has "fixed" but his latest obsession is turning everything off at the plug at every opportunity. You try and resolve one problem, and another occurs.
I am gradually taking over my father's bank account, but he still has access and would resist all attempts to limit this. I am trying to limit risk whilst balancing his autonomy against issues with money. It is hard.

 

[Sarasa]

Hi @Avfcbez, although problems with money and taking tablets weren't the main reasons I decided it was time for mum to move into care it was a factor. For the last few weeks she was at home mum seemed to be taking out about £50.00 a day from her account. When clearing out her flat I found loads of jars of expensive face cream, so I think she was taking out the money, popping next door to Boots and then forgetting that she'd done so so doing the same thing the next day. Mum also got in a total muddle with her medication, none of which was critical. She felt dosette boxes etc were demeaning, mainly because her eyesight was too poor to see the dates and the whole thing confused her. Fortunately nothing she took was critical to her well-being so the GP stopped it all. When she went into care a few weeks later it was re-instated.
You could start employing carers to pop in each day to help with the medication, maybe using a bit of subterfuge as to why they are there.

 

[Emmcee]

HI Emmcee

thanks for the reply,

Yes we also had the meds but into blister packs by Day Monday-Sunday in morning and evening pockets for Mom.

We then brought a huge date Calender digital clock with time, date, morning and evening on and also daily morning and evening prompts via the phone and they still end up in a muddle?

Mom is still very self sufficient and can be a little dogmatic and the phone prompts did not work or not working as she would explain i am having them now but sometimes does not and then forgets.

Other than video calls not sure how we regulate this, is there a service that would do like a drugs round or health visit to support the control?? that you know of.

Moms meds are for blood pressure and memory etc so need to be taken to prolong the onset

regards

D

Mine used to even gulp and say "There, did you hear me swallow?"
The prompts on the phone or clock are only effective at certain stages

 

[Emmcee]

Mine used to even gulp and say "There, did you hear me swallow?"
The prompts on the phone or clock are only effective at certain stages

Oops, sorry. I pressed the wrong button.
If one can demonstrate that someone cannot comply with the use of a pharmacy supplied medication pack, many district nursing services will assume responsibility for administration of medication - but normally no more than twice a day.
Alarm prompts on a phone or clock only work at certain stages of cognitive decline and, all too often, simply get ignored because they become essentially meaningless to the person.
Telemonitoring systems seem to work really well for some. My Mum recognised that the camera as something alien and took it down ..... not quite sure whether she risked the step ladders or bashed it down with a walking stick, but it disappeared.

 

[lollyc]

HI Emmcee

thanks for the reply,

Yes we also had the meds but into blister packs by Day Monday-Sunday in morning and evening pockets for Mom.

We then brought a huge date Calender digital clock with time, date, morning and evening on and also daily morning and evening prompts via the phone and they still end up in a muddle?

Mom is still very self sufficient and can be a little dogmatic and the phone prompts did not work or not working as she would explain i am having them now but sometimes does not and then forgets.

Other than video calls not sure how we regulate this, is there a service that would do like a drugs round or health visit to support the control?? that you know of.

Moms meds are for blood pressure and memory etc so need to be taken to prolong the onset

regards

D

It may be worth speaking to her GP and asking if some of her tablets can be stopped altogether, or taken at a different time.
Yes, you will still have the issue of ensuring they are taken, but it might only be once a day, instead of 2 or 3 times. For a different reason I had to adjust when Mum took some of her tablets. Perhaps not ideal, but with dementia sometimes you just have to settle for the least worst option.