1. Sianey

    Sianey Registered User

    Mar 23, 2015
    103
    Yorkshire
    Hi,

    I think I posted in the wrong section:rolleyes:

    My mum has dementia and is at the stage of thinking her house isn't where she lives and won't accept that it is so I just change the subject, I have no idea what else to say to her she has lived there for fifty years indeed it's my home I was brought up in.

    Mum also has hallucinations of people living in her house.

    Very sad and a long road lies ahead.

    X
     
  2. henfenywfach

    henfenywfach Registered User

    May 23, 2013
    332
    rct
    Hi!..i care for my dad..when the dementia affects the brain..facts and memory names etc can be the first to be damaged..all thats left is the past..their memory then is then based on a different era... this could be in her 20s or a different era and thats why she doesnt know the house...shes trying to comprehend the here and now but her memories are jumbled up..imagine not being able to try to explain that !..frustrations are generally communication...its the only way they know how.

    The dementia friends session is a must for family..friends and neighbours or colleagues...

    Best wishes

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using Talking Point mobile app
     
  3. 1953barney

    1953barney Registered User

    Nov 5, 2013
    66
    Suffolk
    Hi I care for my mum and although she left her family home 66 years ago when she married my dad, she now thinks she lives there and that both her parents, who actually died when she was 16/17, are still alive. She thinks I'm her sister, not her daughter, and asked me about lots of people who lived near her family home. When I say I don't know them she thinks I am just being nasty to her....can't win really x
     
  4. Sianey

    Sianey Registered User

    Mar 23, 2015
    103
    Yorkshire
    Yeah, it's difficult to know what to say. It's very hard as well how much they remember from their past I suppose the brain is such a complex thing. It's hard to imagine how it must feel like. They don't seem frightened by it though do they.

    I've also been called sister and my younger brother is always called your dad:rolleyes:when she refers to him when talking to me.
     
  5. Pottingshed50

    Pottingshed50 Registered User

    Apr 8, 2012
    514
    Until I joined TP I did not realise how common this all is. You could have been talking about our Mum, she took eveything to extremes and not only prepared the tea for her Mum and Dad every afternoon (lots of curled up sandwiches and butter that was passed its best) but left notes every night to her father , really angry notes that if he didnt come home at a reasonable hour the front door would be locked. We often had notes (all in capital letters) telling everyone she had gone to bed, didnt know which bed to sleep in as it was not her house (she had also lived there for 50 years) which quite broke my heart. So if you can and have got a lot of patience and love go along with it all because it just the only way to be kind.
     
  6. Sianey

    Sianey Registered User

    Mar 23, 2015
    103
    Yorkshire
    Not knowing where to sleep.

    Pottingshed50 same here regarding where do they sleep. My mum has rang a few times to ask which bed does she sleep in even when I change the bedding she asks in which bit do I sleep. I just reply patiently, with the view if it were me that's how I would like to be treated.

    I think that's what we all think how it could easily be us. Like you say very sad.
     
  7. pippop1

    pippop1 Registered User

    Apr 8, 2013
    501
    One of the things that made us think the time was right to consider putting MIL in a CH was when she constantly rung us because she didn't recognise her own home (she had lived there for 30 years).

    It had become increasingly hard to keep her there (using carers and ourselves) and she wasn't aware that she was at home and was in fact scared to be there.
     
  8. Flake

    Flake Registered User

    Mar 9, 2015
    222
    This seems to be a common theme. My Mum has spent just over a week, packing things, moving pictures, ornaments etc and putting in bags in readiness to move back home'. I spent the week putting things back only to have them moved again. At the moment she is settled - almost. I dread going into her home just in case everything is packed again. I am taking her rubbish home just to check what has been thrown away. I am sometimes her sister, cousin, occasionally her daughter but my Dad is not her husband but some distant relative. I have the endless questions about her Father and this gets muddled with her husband and long past family who I only know by name. And of course they still visit and she prepars dinners for friends who never turn up. Today was Sunday and she had prepared dinner for my boys, who as they were working did not come round. I so wish that there was a miracle cure as I know things are going to get worse and that thought is something I try not to think about :(
     

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