Long distance communication

Melanie 1973

Registered User
Oct 3, 2014
2
0
Guildford
Hi
My grandmother has late stage dementia and has recently been admitted into a care home.
I live 250 miles away and would like some suggestions as to how best to communicate with her whilst she is in the home.
Thanks very much
Melanie
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,958
0
Brixham Devon
Hi
My grandmother has late stage dementia and has recently been admitted into a care home.
I live 250 miles away and would like some suggestions as to how best to communicate with her whilst she is in the home.
Thanks very much
Melanie

Hi Melanie and welcome to TP.

I see it's an early start for you:(:(

I think it will depend on what your Grandmother is still capable of doing. I know that you have mentioned that she is in late stage-but as everyone is different I will just offer you a few suggestions-some of which she may still be able to do .

If she can still use the phone-then obviously that would be great-even if the carers could place the phone next to her ear and she can hear your voice. Don't worry if GM can't respond-just the sound of you could possibly be a comfort.

Or you could send postcards on a regular basis which the carers could read to her. You could also record her favourite music and add a few minutes of your voice just general chit chat. The carers could play her that.

None of this is easy is it Melanie-but being so far away is an extra difficulty. You are being very kind to your GM in making such an effort.

Take care-and hope to hear from you again

Lyn T
 

Melanie 1973

Registered User
Oct 3, 2014
2
0
Guildford
Hi Lynn
Yes way too early a start!

I have been calling her at the home twice a week which has been going okay. I used to call her every day when she was at her own home but I don't want to do that at the care home as I don't want to 'hassle' the staff.
I have bought some funny cards to send up to her with little update s in them about my life but it breaks my heart that she is so far away.
When I went to see her 3 weeks ago she was really nasty towards me and my brother. .. We both left in tears.
My mum lives close to the home and wants to take my nan out 3 or 4 times a week but nan is so awful to her that the staff have advised that she visit s just once a week.
It's very difficult.
What is your situation?
M
ps thanks for the message .... appreciate the contact

Hi Melanie and welcome to TP.

I see it's an early start for you:(:(

I think it will depend on what your Grandmother is still capable of doing. I know that you have mentioned that she is in late stage-but as everyone is different I will just offer you a few suggestions-some of which she may still be able to do .

If she can still use the phone-then obviously that would be great-even if the carers could place the phone next to her ear and she can hear your voice. Don't worry if GM can't respond-just the sound of you could possibly be a comfort.

Or you could send postcards on a regular basis which the carers could read to her. You could also record her favourite music and add a few minutes of your voice just general chit chat. The carers could play her that.

None of this is easy is it Melanie-but being so far away is an extra difficulty. You are being very kind to your GM in making such an effort.

Take care-and hope to hear from you again

Lyn T
 

LYN T

Registered User
Aug 30, 2012
6,958
0
Brixham Devon
Well done for what you are managing to do Melanie.

I think that sometimes there comes a stage when the things we do (even though we are trying to help our relative) helps us more- if that makes sense. Dementia is something no one can control but by doing the little things we still feel involved in our relatives lives.

Would your Mum join TP? Do you think it would be helpful for her to do so.?
Your poor Mum (and you and the rest of your family) It's all too difficult.
My Husband is suffering from Alzheimer's, Bipolar and this week he has been diagnosed with Parkinson's and probable cancer. He started becoming ill at the age of 58/59. He's now just 68 and has been in a wonderful CH since June 2013.

He too is in the late stages. I'm 56 and at times struggle with what is happening.

Please pass on to your Mum that I used to take Pete out-but he appeared to quite quickly become afraid of the great outdoors. It works for some but not others.

Take care and try not to get too upset by your GM's behaviour. Easier said than done I know.

Lyn T