lonely

[bethany claire]

H am very new to all this and often so exhausted trying to cope with all the problems having twp parents with dementia brings I just read posts. The TP has heplped me to realise tht i am not the only one-just feels like that very often.

Parents now in two separate Care Homes as my mother has gone into total denial about my father-maintains that he died in the war. Dad often does not recognise me- I would love to have them at home but my own health has suffered- cannot do it any more.... Sometimes it seems so hopeless- money problems now over caring fees.

This has been going on for ten years now - I am an only child: so lucky in many ways but this has taken over my life.

I am just so grateful for this forum- so many inspiring mesages. We all nee somewhere to go- help with the pressure. Should love to hear from some of you.

 

[Izzy]

Hi Bethany Claire and welcome to TP. I'm so glad you found the forum.

It must be so very hard to have two parents in this situation. No wonder you're tired and feeling down. You have obviously done (and are still doing) incredibly well by your parents and it's clear you love them very much.

Please keep posting on TP. You already know how much help and advice you can find here. You'll also find support and friendship.

Take care. x

 

[CeliaW]

Hello Bethany

Gosh it sounds as though it has been and still is tough although things have changed. As Izzy said, do post on here as people will reply and give support. Pop into the Tea Room and start following some threads - be inspired by creativesarah's lovely pictures (and those by others) and look in the joke thread to smile at some of jimbo's jokes. Other threads talk about a range of things from the mundane to the serious but all put a bit of something different in to your day.

Maybe the local CAB could advise re the financial issues?

And have a big cyber hug and here's wishing you a bit of a better day. How about thinking of just one thing you can do today that will give you pleasure and make sure you find time for it - it could be a walk in the sunshine - going to the library and picking a couple of books to read in the evening - maybe if you have a camera, taking some pictures so you can join in the photography thread?

There's only one problem with the above - this is the UK... its February... you may not have sunshine!

Take care

Celia
xx

 

[CeliaW]

PS - the moderators might move your original post to a different thread as it many not get seen by so many people in the Computer section

 

[Krissie]

H am very new to all this and often so exhausted trying to cope with all the problems having twp parents with dementia brings I just read posts. The TP has heplped me to realise tht i am not the only one-just feels like that very often.

Parents now in two separate Care Homes as my mother has gone into total denial about my father-maintains that he died in the war. Dad often does not recognise me- I would love to have them at home but my own health has suffered- cannot do it any more.... Sometimes it seems so hopeless- money problems now over caring fees.

This has been going on for ten years now - I am an only child: so lucky in many ways but this has taken over my life.

I am just so grateful for this forum- so many inspiring messages. We all nee somewhere to go- help with the pressure. Should love to hear from some of you.

I know exactly how you feel. I too am an only child with both parents with dementia. They have had problems for over 7 years now and I live a long way away from them. I recently went up for a few days and stayed for 7 weeks as Mum had a stroke and Dad needed to go into a nursing home. I felt very alone at times - although I have a very supportive husband and daughter - but they're both working full time and some distance away from my parents. I sometimes feel that I give more time and attention to their lives at the moment than to my own. The Care Home is the best place for your parents - you're doing what's best for them. I worried about Dad going into one but they have been super - he's now eating and sleeping well and they are able to look after him in a way that I couldn't do. You need to think more about you and take time for yourself. At least being an only child you can go ahead and make decisions without having to consult or fit in with sometimes unhelpful siblings. As you say it's nice to know that others are going through similar times and you're not alone. My parents are luckily able to self fund at the moment - if there are funding issues you'd probably be able to get advice from others in this forum who've had problems funding care homes who could point you in the right direction for where to go for help.
I wish you well and will be thinking of you.xx