• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can be found in our area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

Lonely

Basial

Registered User
Mar 22, 2020
12
I have a husband who has vascular dementia and I'm struggling to keep positive during this period. Need someone to talk to who understands.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
63,047
69
Dundee
Hi @Basial and welcome to posting on the forum.

I’m sorry to hear about your husband I can’t understand that things must be made even more difficult during this period we’re going through.

It’s hard to stay positive but please know that there will always be someone here to listen and to chat. You will get lots of help, support and understanding here.

Wishing you strength - keep posting!
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,310
Yorkshire
hello @Basial
a warm welcome to DTP
sorry to hear that things are tough right now
you've come to the right place as folk here do understand
so post with anything that's on your mind ... members are very supportive
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,962
Kent
We are all finding it difficult to stay positive during this period @Basial but it must be even more difficult when you are caring for a person with dementia.

I know there are many in similar positions on this Forum and I hope sharing will bring some respite from your loneliness, even if it is only virtual.
 

Basial

Registered User
Mar 22, 2020
12
Hi @Basial and welcome to posting on the forum.

I’m sorry to hear about your husband I can’t understand that things must be made even more difficult during this period we’re going through.

It’s hard to stay positive but please know that there will always be someone here to listen and to chat. You will get lots of help, support and understanding here.

Wishing you strength - keep posting!
 

Basial

Registered User
Mar 22, 2020
12
Thank you. I'm usually a very positive person but I can see 😏 that my husband's dementia has dipped and I have had a tiring week. Yes I should reach out more often instead of thinking I can always cope.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,310
Yorkshire
it's something most of us carers tend towards @Basial
we're only human though and honestly with the lovely members here sharing definitely helps you feel less isolated and can help you cope

so now you've started, keep posting!
 

Star of the Orient

Registered User
May 20, 2020
33
it's something most of us carers tend towards @Basial
we're only human though and honestly with the lovely members here sharing definitely helps you feel less isolated and can help you cope

so now you've started, keep posting!
Yes, it is lonely. My husband has a different type of dementia and I feel very alone. He doesn't recognise my needs - can't recognise my needs. I feel isolated and at times I despair about coping at all. Or coping in a very unhealthy way which doesn't help in the long run. Talking your heart out by messages does help. I often think back to responses I have received on this Forum from the people who 'connect' with me.
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
679
I have a husband who has vascular dementia and I'm struggling to keep positive during this period. Need someone to talk to who understands.
Hello @Basial you might find it useful to get a carers assessment from your local council, they may also have a carers support group, my local council does. I get regular updates on activities, although at the moment the activities are all online. They were very helpful in pointing me in the direction of other places where I might be able to get support, things like befriending groups. Try searching on the internet, you can start with the Alzheimer's Society website.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
952
Southampton
hiya basial my husband has vascular dementia as well and with him sheilding its even better he got copd as well. its lonely but this is brilliant for virtual friendship and they are so helpful. ive just gone through getting power of attorney with them. i have only been here since march as my husband got diagnosed and then the lockdown and has been shielding ever since. just got a letter to say hes being shielded for a further 12 weeks which limits me going out. its only other people in the same situation can relate to how im feeling.
 

thehappygirl

New member
Jun 14, 2020
1
I also feel desperately lonely.. My husband is also deaf and doesn't like wearing hearing aids. I'm at my wits end with nowhere to turn. Hopefully I'll be able to chat to others like myself and offer each other positive support. .
 

Bezzy1946

Registered User
Jul 18, 2017
42
73
Watford
I also feel desperately lonely.. My husband is also deaf and doesn't like wearing hearing aids. I'm at my wits end with nowhere to turn. Hopefully I'll be able to chat to others like myself and offer each other positive support. .
Please do chat with us all. We are all in the same boat aren’t we either caring for loved ones at home or like myself my husband has recently gone into a care home. I find it helps so much sharing your problems with these lovely people.
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
63,047
69
Dundee
I also feel desperately lonely.. My husband is also deaf and doesn't like wearing hearing aids. I'm at my wits end with nowhere to turn. Hopefully I'll be able to chat to others like myself and offer each other positive support. .
Welcome to DTP @Unhappy15 . I’m so glad you have found the forum. There’s always someone here to listen and support.

Once you’ve a good look round you might find you’d like to start a thread of your own. Lots of members find it a good way to keep a record of how things are going and to keep replies together. Here’s a link to one of the main areas in the forum in case you want to do that.

I Have A Partner With Dementia

Whatever you decide the main thing is - keep posting!
 

Woody21

New member
Jan 1, 2020
1
I too get lonely as my husband has vascular dementia and struggles to understand words or make conversation now. The simple things like commenting about a TV programme we're watching together are no longer possible as I realise he is not following it at all. I find it all heart breaking. My saving grace has been zoom for carers in which you can see others who are in similar situations; you can open up as much as you want about whatever's troubling you. See if you can find one with carers who are in the same locality as you so that when activities recommence you will have already connected.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
13,663
South coast
Hi @Woody21 . Im getting to be a dab hand at zoom. Id never heard of it until the lockdown, but Ive had coffee mornings, quiz evenings, meetings with all the family. Not quite the same as seeing people in person, but still wonderful
 

fromnz123

Registered User
Aug 2, 2019
46
UK
I had a Carers Assessment for Counselling last week, and one of the questions was "do you feel lonely", and straight away I replied "no"...

Later when I thought about it I realised that I don't feel "lonely" as I have friends and family that I can reach out to throughout the day by phone, to meet for a walk or communicate by texting, but what I realised is that I feel "alone"...although I have a husband of almost 36 years, he is not there for me emotionally or practically, that here is another person in the home but they are in their own "bubble", and their concern is about their needs.....
 

Dutchman

Registered User
May 26, 2017
821
Devon
Thank you. I'm usually a very positive person but I can see 😏 that my husband's dementia has dipped and I have had a tiring week. Yes I should reach out more often instead of thinking I can always cope.
hello Basil.

I’ve been here for about 3 years now. My wife, Bridget, has vascular dementia and went into a home last August. Please keep posting and build a friendship with us as we’ve been there, done that.

I won’t write much now but all i’ll say is try your very best not to blame yourself for anything ( i still do that) , reach out to anyone for help, cry and cry and cry and remember you will never be judged on the forum for any thoughts you may have

God bless, Peter
 

Janlee

New member
Aug 11, 2019
5
I too get lonely as my husband has vascular dementia and struggles to understand words or make conversation now. The simple things like commenting about a TV programme we're watching together are no longer possible as I realise he is not following it at all. I find it all heart breaking. My saving grace has been zoom for carers in which you can see others who are in similar situations; you can open up as much as you want about whatever's troubling you. See if you can find one with carers who are in the same locality as you so that when activities recommence you will have already connected.
 

Janlee

New member
Aug 11, 2019
5
[QUOTE="Janlee, post: 1728870,
I fully understand what you are saying it seems to people who do not understand that to say you miss your partner when they are right there with you but that is the heartbreaking part of it they are not there fully. No meaningful
discussion of anything no planing what to do just the ordinary things that we take for granted when we are all well. I am not aware of any support groups online so must research this for myself as well.
 

Philbo

Registered User
Feb 28, 2017
838
Kent
I have a husband who has vascular dementia and I'm struggling to keep positive during this period. Need someone to talk to who understands.
Hi and welcome.

My 6+ year "journey" sadly ended in January but finding this forum about a year after my late wife was diagnosed, was so, so beneficial. The huge amount of advice and support on offer was almost overwhelming. The fact that contributors were generously sharing their personal experiences, made it seem like I had gained so many new friends.

My wife had fronto temporal dementia (FTD) so her speech and self awareness were affected quite early on and I quickly had to learn to cope with feeling strangely alone. My way of trying to keep myself sane was to tell myself that this awful disease may be taking her, but it was not going to take me? It didn't always work but it is just as pertinent now she has gone.

Some people find it difficult to share their thoughts with others (stiff upper lip and all that) but I think that the more you can open up to others (especially those who understand), the better you will feel.

Kind regards and please keep sharing.
Phil
 

Members online

Forum statistics

Threads
116,517
Messages
1,703,816
Members
67,294
Latest member
Tsreck