Lone carer by choise


Registered User
Aug 3, 2006
Hi fellow Carers.
I'm new here so I better introduce myself. I'm nearing my 75th birthday and my wife's 72nd. She has suffered with Alzheimer's for 11 years. She has long passed the final stages if I am to accept what the experts say, in fact she passed them some four years ago. I would like to relate our experiences from the begining,but I propose to do that another time. For now here is our present situation. She has had a stroke and is incapable of any movement except for one hand. She has not spoken for more than three years, except for one word. I removed her from a nursing home three years and four months ago, telling our daughter "There is nothing or anybody out there who understands, I'm going it alone." I changed house, had it altered to suit, and purchased a wheelchair, commode and other equipment. It was touch and go as to whether she would survive in the begining. Three times she was at death's door, but now she's doing fine. Each week is the same. I strap her legs and waist into the wheelchair and take her shopping twice a week and take her out for walks. I'm up each morning at 05.10 and go for a three and a half mile run and use weights to remain fit in order to lift her in and out of the car. I'm very happy and content with my life and consider I'm very fortunate to experience what most men may never namely, shopping, cleaning, cooking etc and looking after my wife who is just like a baby. She sleeps a lot now which gives me the time to write my unusal life's story up to day of our marriage 51 years ago next month. Sorry for such a long introduction. Next I'll take it from the early stages. God bless Padraig.


Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
near London
Hi Padraig, and WHAT a warm welcome from TP!

The experience of caring for a much loved one who has dementia is such a hard one when we put the responsibility and the pure weight of the task [in all senses] in one side of the scales. Clearly the balance is made close to equal when love and devotion - even in such hard circumstances - is added at the other side.

I'm looking forward to hearing much more from you.

Bless YOU, Padraig


Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
Hi Padraig
That's a good old Irish name!!!!!
Welcome to Tp
You'll get lots of support here
Your introduction fills me with admiration and awe!
For another thing I wish I could go on a 3.5 mile run every day......or even 300 yards...and I'm only 49!!!!:D
Ps....the only weights I lift are large boxes of choccies!:)


Registered User
Apr 10, 2006
Hi Padraig

How i do admire you, its a very brave thing to do when you go it alone, you must be a very strong person, your wife is a very lucky lady to have such a loving caring husband.

I do know a little of what you feel as my partner who was only in his early fifties suffered strokes which left him unable to move except for one hand and he was unable to communicate.

I too wanted nothing more than to bring him home and look after him myself, unfortunately he was too ill to leave the hospital............but looking back on things now, oh how i wish i had had your resolve!

If you are happy and not finding it too difficult to cope then I wish you every success in caring for your wife, i'm sure she would much rather be cared for by you than any hospital.

Kind regards
Alex x


Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
Birmingham Hades
Hi Padraig
Welcome to TP.
I too look after my wife ,at home have done now for 11+years.
I can't do the run as you do but I am an all rounder when it comes to domestic chores.
I do play crown green bowls.!! Thats my exercise,the OA stops the running.
Looking forward to your next posting


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
What an inspiring read, I do admirer your courage I am left wondering what is the only word your wife can say?

Staff online

Forum statistics

Latest member