Lockdown appears to have accelerated the disease

cumbria35

Registered User
Apr 24, 2017
89
0
My husband was was finally diagnosed in 2013 and was doing quite well but since the lockdown he has become much worse or conversely my tolerance has become less. I am missing the interaction of the different groups going out anywhere for a change and so is
David. In trying to write this email David has come into the room three times so far as he thinks he is on his own and gets worried if he cannot see me. I have friends who send emails saying lockdown not so bad they are learning new things looking at life in a different way, all of which I can understand but feel that I am working from home all day everyday. I feel awful saying that as David never gets cross or angry just upset and confused
I know just how you feel, if I am out of the room for more than five minutes he is worried, his mobility and confidence has been affected. Y not having any social contact at the groups we used to attend. We used to go on the bus and out for coffee but can’t visualise doing that again. No proper conversation and memory confusion. Feel quite isolated.
 

Janlee

New member
Aug 11, 2019
5
0
I understand what you are going through. My husband has become more clingy and follows me around. I find at times I really want to scream. Like you I feel I’m on call 24/7. Hopefully with the lockdown easing and with some caution we can get out and meet our groups and have some normality. I guess we are all human and at times feel frustrated at our circumstances. Take care
Thank you I know I am not the only one and others have more challenging behaviour but it is reassuring to hear from others in the same boat
 

Bill mac

Registered User
May 10, 2020
57
0
Thanks for your responses. Mum has been checked for a UTI, and has had blood tests to check her kidney function.
Seems like it is progression of the disease unfortunately- I fear that putting her somewhere for respite, may sadly lead to permanency as is often the case.
It seems so cruel - really never envisaged placing her in a home, but it’s seems the only way to avoid a complete meltdown.
Best wishes to you all x
Hello i know how you are feeling my wife is in the early stages of dementia but it seem to have gone up level , DI L is a carer in a home and she has seen a change in her and when i tell her what she does day on day she really thinks one day it will have to be taken into care mainly for my health and i do feel selfish when i say that, it does drag you down, good luck and be brave it's not your fault ,life is so cruel at times.
 

davidsitges

Registered User
Apr 26, 2018
14
0
Hi @Pickle2510, I concur with @canary, if it is any solace, my Mum was actually much more content in residential care. I appreciate that it must be quite challenging in these abnormal times - I hope you find somewhere that meets all your needs.
I have to agree too. My OH went into a home in Nov ember but for three months I was unable to visit. During that time he is losing his language - because we are in Spain and no-one else in the home is a fluent English speaker although the staff (who really are angels! and I've never for a moment regretted putting him there) do their best to talk to him in short English phrases. Now I can visit again one day per week but I used to spend 2-3 hours every single day with him and this kept him stimulated. Hopefully very soon I will be able to visit daily again and his language will come back - but I have my fears that once lost it stays lost. If so, that will be wholly due to the virus.
 

MTM

Registered User
Jun 2, 2018
40
0
My mum has deteriorated so much over lockdown, I’m now so stressed it’s untrue.

I live with my husband, son (8 years old and on chemotherapy,) and my mum who has Alzheimer’s.
Lockdown appears to have accelerated the disease, as she doesn’t recognise anyone, thinks she’s been dropped off and someone will pick her up to go home, she’s become totally self centred now and I’m trying to access respite which seems impossible.
A lady from the memory clinic is trying so will wait and see.

has anyone else noticed a change in their loved ones since lockdown etc?
Blimey, I’m so sorry, that’s a lot to cope with. For what it’s worth, my grandmother was very happy when she went into a home. It turned out it had been a school and she’d been there a lot because as a kid she was a friend of the headmaster’s daughter.

As for lockdown. Yes. It’s definitely made my Mum more mithered. She doesn’t have an official diagnosis and doesn’t want one so for now we haven’t gone that route but she has a lot missing. She calls herself much muddled and is good humoured about it so at least she’s happy, which is what counts. She lives at home and we have a care team in place - my Dad had Alzheimer’s for 14 years and died in May 2019 - so there was a live in team then, with relief carers during the day, we didn’t need the live in but we did keep the day carers on. They come at night now, too.

Mum can look at a magazine but she doesn’t seem to take it in any more. She forgets that she has arthritis and isn’t very mobile and gets frustrated when, at 86 she can no longer dig potatoes. She watches TV to anchor herself in time so some of the sporting repeats have thrown her. I’m not looking forward to trying to explain two weeks of Wimbledon rehashes from over the years. It’s going to throw her completely. At the beginning of lock down they did a whole load of repeats of Gardener’s World and she kept ringing me to ask what year it was.

’I’m sure Geoff Hamilton is dead, darling? He is, isn’t he?’
‘Yes Mum.’

It’s like living in an Alan Bennett play. Sorry, shouldn’t laugh but I feel a bit more OK about doing so because she does see the funny side of it herself. I have really bad menopausal brain fog (I’d think it was early onset, myself but I’ve already had it ten years) so when Dad was alive and there were two of them to deal with it was like the blind leading the blind. She’s very cheerful but terribly bored. I phone her every day and chat to her but my lad is doing school at home and McOther is working from home as well so it’s quite hard to fit it all in. She’s 140 miles away and I drive down there and have lunch with her every Wednesday. It’s a relief that I’ve been able to start doing that again but at the same time with all the extra phone calls it’s quite hard work now.

Sorry that’s rather long and too much about me but ... you’re not alone and I hope you manage to get your mum sorted. My dad ended up in the most lovely home, so they are out there. ❤️
 

SeismicPenguin

Registered User
Feb 28, 2018
24
0
Scotland
Agree. I have quite enjoyed lockdown as I have not had to fit everything in and cope with comings and goings of family or support workers or all my own contacts.

But I think it is having a negative effect on my mother, primarily due to a lack of external stimulation. She has disappeared more and more into her memories from 80-90 years ago and won't engage very much with the present. Every TV programme "takes her back" at least forty years and is a reason to ruminate on memories instead of watching the programme. I am finding it really hard this week, so fingers crossed I can start to take her out in the car a bit soon.
 

Brightmax

New member
Mar 13, 2019
2
0
Hello,
Firstly, I am really sorry to hear what you and your family are going through.
I want to share a point of view. You have so much on your plate and can see you are doing your absolute best. However, I do think in order to support your mum ,your son and everyone else, some support is needed .
I feel guilt every day that my Dad is in a home. However, I do know he gets attention, care and stimulation that he needs at this time. Investing time to find a good place for some respite may help. Knowing your mum is in safe hands. Everyone reacts differently both with dementia or as a carer, but worth giving a go. It may be a path to finding a way to support you all.
Thinking of you and your family and I hope there is a way to help through this very difficult time.
Max
 

DreamsAreReal

Registered User
Oct 17, 2015
476
0
My pwd is the same. I’ve noticed a marked deterioration since lockdown started. I think it’s because she is spending so much time alone. She’s been able to stay in her own confused world with no regular intrusions of reality (i.e., me). Not been outdoors either. :(
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,449
0
Scotland
My sister in law was coping reasonably well until the lockdown although she was showing signs of dementia and is profoundly deaf and cannot speak. Her neighbours began to ring me and the housing manager when she was knocking on their doors in the early hours wanting into their flats.

Once this started it escalated fast and over the course of a week the police were out three times, ambulances and doctors called. Social services moved swiftly all things considered and she has now been in an excellent care home for almost two
Months. She is very happy, feels safe, is eating well, putting on weight which she needed.

It has turned out to be the best thing that could have happened for her even though it left us all shattered.
 

Sarasa

Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
7,195
0
Nottinghamshire
We just been out for a lovely walk and picnic with my niece. When lockdown started she went back to stay with her mum and to help look after her grandmother on her father's side of the family. That grandma, who was only a couple of years older than me, had had dementia for a while. My niece said the lockdown took away all the things that kept her grandma grounded, she declined rapidly and died about six weeks ago. So lockdown does seem to be having an adverse effect on some people with dementia. It will be interesting when I finally get to see mum in her care home how much she has changed.
 

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