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Lockdown appears to have accelerated the disease

Pickle2510

Registered User
Jul 22, 2016
26
My mum has deteriorated so much over lockdown, I’m now so stressed it’s untrue.

I live with my husband, son (8 years old and on chemotherapy,) and my mum who has Alzheimer’s.
Lockdown appears to have accelerated the disease, as she doesn’t recognise anyone, thinks she’s been dropped off and someone will pick her up to go home, she’s become totally self centred now and I’m trying to access respite which seems impossible.
A lady from the memory clinic is trying so will wait and see.

has anyone else noticed a change in their loved ones since lockdown etc?
 

nae sporran

Volunteer Host
Oct 29, 2014
6,935
Bristol
What an awful set of circumstances and worries, @Pickle2510. Lack of regular stimulation like day centres and going out for lunch once a week seems to made my OH worse as well. Under normal circumstances I would have taken 3 days to escape to Exmoor about now, and can totally sympathise with your need for respite. I hope the memory clinic can arrange something for you and your son will come through all this in better health.
 

Rob_E

Registered User
Feb 1, 2015
191
Liverpool
You certainly seem to have your plate full @Pickle2510, I hope things improve soon. Have certainly noticed a decline with mum as I posted in another thread. I'm not sure how much of it is lock down, this has been going on for so long now (diagnosed with Alzheimers 2014, MCI 2007, she was having problems long before that) . It hasn't helped that she's been unable to see people and get out though.
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
768
Hi @Pickle2510, sorry to hear about your situation, it must be incredibly difficult to deal with. Just a thought, but have you ruled out that Mum may have an infection (UTI) which can cause significant confusion? If you have and it is a permanent progression then you do need to probably think about the future care needs - respite would give you that breathing space. It is very difficult as I'm sure you feel an element of guilt, but it sounds as though your son needs you support and there is only so much you and your husband can do for your Mum. I wish you all the best. Stay strong.
 

Pickle2510

Registered User
Jul 22, 2016
26
Hi @Pickle2510, sorry to hear about your situation, it must be incredibly difficult to deal with. Just a thought, but have you ruled out that Mum may have an infection (UTI) which can cause significant confusion? If you have and it is a permanent progression then you do need to probably think about the future care needs - respite would give you that breathing space. It is very difficult as I'm sure you feel an element of guilt, but it sounds as though your son needs you support and there is only so much you and your husband can do for your Mum. I wish you all the best. Stay strong.
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Pickle2510

Registered User
Jul 22, 2016
26
Thanks for your responses. Mum has been checked for a UTI, and has had blood tests to check her kidney function.
Seems like it is progression of the disease unfortunately- I fear that putting her somewhere for respite, may sadly lead to permanency as is often the case.
It seems so cruel - really never envisaged placing her in a home, but it’s seems the only way to avoid a complete meltdown.
Best wishes to you all x
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,611
South coast
really never envisaged placing her in a home,
We none of us do - we all think we can go on indefinitely, until suddenly, we cant.

If it is any consolation, my mum thrived in her care home. Having the stimulation of other people around 24/7 (who wenrt tired and stressed) and activities and outings arranged - not to mention regular food and medication - led to her being much happier there.
 

Pickle2510

Registered User
Jul 22, 2016
26
We none of us do - we all think we can go on indefinitely, until suddenly, we cant.

If it is any consolation, my mum thrived in her care home. Having the stimulation of other people around 24/7 (who wenrt tired and stressed) and activities and outings arranged - not to mention regular food and medication - led to her being much happier there.
 

Pickle2510

Registered User
Jul 22, 2016
26
I hope she’ll enjoy the environment too - she loves singing !
It’s such a shame groups are shutdown due to coronavirus ☹
Got to get a place sorted now x
 

Pete1

Registered User
Jul 16, 2019
768
Hi @Pickle2510, I concur with @canary, if it is any solace, my Mum was actually much more content in residential care. I appreciate that it must be quite challenging in these abnormal times - I hope you find somewhere that meets all your needs.
 

Agzy

Registered User
Nov 16, 2016
1,380
Moreton, Wirral. UK.
Hard to say wether it is the Lock Down or recent hospitalisation for UTI that has caused the decline in my OH, but declined indeed has her memory. I do blame Lock Down for her total lack of confidence when we venture out now, and she is terrified at the prospect of getting on a bus, something she loved and did all the time on her own until the world changed.
 

Philippa_Hampshire

New member
Jun 26, 2020
1
My mother has quite advanced Alzheimer's but still lives on her own in a retirement flat. Prior to the arrival of Covid-19 into all our lives she was on a fairly even keel with weekly attendance at a Dementia Day Centre, carers 3 times a day for meals, medication etc and a lot of support from me and brothers & sisters with shopping, visiting, walking etc. and me taking her to another Dementia Centre for assisted bathing and hairdressing. Since March, of course, this has all gone out the window. The carers do a fabulous job and I have continued to buy shopping, put in fridge and try to get her outside in the sunshine once a week. With the lack of any structured stimulation her understanding of conversation has deteriorated dramatically and she struggles even more than before to express herself. We are hopeful that she will be able to get back to attending the Dementia Day Centre by mid to end of July - and be able to attend a little more often. She is not really aware what the Covid crisis is about and the concept of social distancing is not something she understands. She walked down to the local shops last week on her own , which was the first time she had been out since March, ignored the little queue outside the Co-op, went around the shop most likely not observing any distancing. Hopefully we will be able to visit in the communal gardens soon .
 

Milatoschris

Registered User
May 29, 2018
21
I have noticed a big difference in my husband since lockdown. We would go to the cinema, theatre, park, and we could have a discussion about what we have seen. I try to explain to him what’s happening and he comes out with some random answer nothing to do with what I have been talking about. We had a telephone consultation yesterday with the consultant, he has suggested a social worker. He also is sending me details of various groups. I said I feel I need to talk to people going through the same thing. Does any one here belong to such a group, and if so does it help. I feel guilty leaving him at home when I go shopping, but I am much quicker on my own. With all the shops opening up, so many more people, and they do not seem to see that he is ill. He shuffles along and they just want to rush. I must say since all this pandemic started it has left me feeling more tearful. I cry at happy aswell as sad stories. X
 

Baker17

Registered User
Mar 9, 2016
547
I have noticed a big difference in my husband since lockdown. We would go to the cinema, theatre, park, and we could have a discussion about what we have seen. I try to explain to him what’s happening and he comes out with some random answer nothing to do with what I have been talking about. We had a telephone consultation yesterday with the consultant, he has suggested a social worker. He also is sending me details of various groups. I said I feel I need to talk to people going through the same thing. Does any one here belong to such a group, and if so does it help. I feel guilty leaving him at home when I go shopping, but I am much quicker on my own. With all the shops opening up, so many more people, and they do not seem to see that he is ill. He shuffles along and they just want to rush. I must say since all this pandemic started it has left me feeling more tearful. I cry at happy aswell as sad stories. X
Hi, I started going to our local memory matters group three years ago. We meet once a week and there are people who are caring for people at all stages of the illness even some who been bereaved. When I first went I was sceptical about it but I can honestly say it was the best thing I did. We talk about our various problems but are also able to laugh and cry depending on how we are feeling and because everyone understands it’s relaxing at the same time. The conversations are all about the situation we find ourselves in and sometimes I stop and think oh! I actually had a normal conversation. Two years ago we decided to go out for afternoon tea and this has become a regular event now, last one cancelled because of lockdown, but we’ll be booking again as soon as possible. During lockdown we’ve all kept in touch as well by phone.
I know these types of things aren’t for everyone but I recommend you to give a try x
 

rosemary237

New member
Apr 10, 2018
9
Harrow
My mum has deteriorated so much over lockdown, I’m now so stressed it’s untrue.

I live with my husband, son (8 years old and on chemotherapy,) and my mum who has Alzheimer’s.
Lockdown appears to have accelerated the disease, as she doesn’t recognise anyone, thinks she’s been dropped off and someone will pick her up to go home, she’s become totally self centred now and I’m trying to access respite which seems impossible.
A lady from the memory clinic is trying so will wait and see.

has anyone else noticed a change in their loved ones since lockdown etc?
 

rosemary237

New member
Apr 10, 2018
9
Harrow
I have the same problem since lockdown my mam has deteriorated quite badly . She was so used to seeing one of us everyday and of course we could spend the time and make sure that she ate and had stimulation , at first she used to talk but now all she does is sleep and has lost so much weight . All i want is for lockdown to end so that i can see her .
 

Milatoschris

Registered User
May 29, 2018
21
Hi, I started going to our local memory matters group three years ago. We meet once a week and there are people who are caring for people at all stages of the illness even some who been bereaved. When I first went I was sceptical about it but I can honestly say it was the best thing I did. We talk about our various problems but are also able to laugh and cry depending on how we are feeling and because everyone understands it’s relaxing at the same time. The conversations are all about the situation we find ourselves in and sometimes I stop and think oh! I actually had a normal conversation. Two years ago we decided to go out for afternoon tea and this has become a regular event now, last one cancelled because of lockdown, but we’ll be booking again as soon as possible. During lockdown we’ve all kept in touch as well by phone.
I know these types of things aren’t for everyone but I recommend you to give a try x
Thankyou this makes me feel positive about going to a group meeting as and when I receive the info. Stay strong and stay safe.x
 

Janlee

New member
Aug 11, 2019
5
You certainly seem to have your plate full @Pickle2510, I hope things improve soon. Have certainly noticed a decline with mum as I posted in another thread. I'm not sure how much of it is lock down, this has been going on for so long now (diagnosed with Alzheimers 2014, MCI 2007, she was having problems long before that) . It hasn't helped that she's been unable to see people and get out though.
 

Janlee

New member
Aug 11, 2019
5
My husband was was finally diagnosed in 2013 and was doing quite well but since the lockdown he has become much worse or conversely my tolerance has become less. I am missing the interaction of the different groups going out anywhere for a change and so is
David. In trying to write this email David has come into the room three times so far as he thinks he is on his own and gets worried if he cannot see me. I have friends who send emails saying lockdown not so bad they are learning new things looking at life in a different way, all of which I can understand but feel that I am working from home all day everyday. I feel awful saying that as David never gets cross or angry just upset and confused