Lock Down at Care Home

Wifenotcarer

Registered User
Mar 11, 2018
296
Central Scotland
Got the phone call I have been dreading at Lunchtime yesterday = "Under a directive from the Care Commision home closed to all visitors until further notice. Nor is any resident allowed to leave the Home for a run or meal out. All incoming entertainers have been cancelled. I found the news devastating. OH and I have been together for 56 years and never been apart for more than a couple of days. I have visited him in the home most days since he became resident there. I do not go out of a sense of duty or to check up that he is being cared for properly (he is). I go because I miss him. Sometimes he is half asleep and I don't stay long, sometimes he is on good form and we have a walk together in the gardens, or a long chat over a cuppa. He retains his sense of humour, makes me laugh, cheers me up. Also I often get involved in the 'activities' and through this have become friendly with the caring staff and other residents. All this has now been taken from me and to make matters worse my other regular activities outwith the home have been cancelled. Can't even work in the garden as it is raining AGAIN.

I phoned my Dsis and BF this morning I suppose to have a moan. One said that I should look on the bright side, that I would not feel guilty about not visiting because it would not be my fault??, the other said not to worry because if OH became seriously ill they would let his next of kin in to see him!! They don't get it do they? I feel bereft of my purpose in life i.e. doing everything I can to make life easier for my .OH and that I have overnight become a (hopefully) temporary widow. Keep thinking that even violent prisoners in jails get visitors.
 

YorkshireLass

Registered User
Feb 15, 2017
221
Ilkley
I really feel for you. As you say we don't visit "out of duty" but because we need to see our loved ones and for them to see us. We love and we care and it's not a switch that can just be turned off. Sending a hug xxx
 

kindred

Registered User
Apr 8, 2018
2,457
I really feel for you. As you say we don't visit "out of duty" but because we need to see our loved ones and for them to see us. We love and we care and it's not a switch that can just be turned off. Sending a hug xxx
I do so sympathise. Believe me, the view from the nursing homes is not going to be easy either. I volunteer at the home where my beloved husband died and am regarded as staff. Today, the first day of the ban on families, was so quiet as the weekend we are usually full of families laughing and interacting and supporting us. We are aware of the residents missing family so I was able to do lots of one to one including making a story book of their stories. This mornings story was about the butterfly with BIG FEET.
We are locked down for a month and that really feels a big shock. But we will do our best for our lovely residents. One idea might be to send in postcards or pretty cards so we could read them to the residents and do an activity with them. What do you think?
With love and best, Kindred.xx

O
 

YorkshireLass

Registered User
Feb 15, 2017
221
Ilkley
I do so sympathise. Believe me, the view from the nursing homes is not going to be easy either. I volunteer at the home where my beloved husband died and am regarded as staff. Today, the first day of the ban on families, was so quiet as the weekend we are usually full of families laughing and interacting and supporting us. We are aware of the residents missing family so I was able to do lots of one to one including making a story book of their stories. This mornings story was about the butterfly with BIG FEET.
We are locked down for a month and that really feels a big shock. But we will do our best for our lovely residents. One idea might be to send in postcards or pretty cards so we could read them to the residents and do an activity with them. What do you think?
With love and best, Kindred.xx

O
You are wonderful folks and I know at mum's nursing home the care was fantastic. Mum died in January and for 3 years I visited everyday. Mum was totally disconnected from her surroundings and together with Alzheimer's she had been blind since her early seventies. I held her hand all afternoon and she knew someone was there. She was safe. With the best will in the world the nursing staff could not give one to one for a prolonged length of time. I totally understand the lock down situation and fully agree it has to happen. I wholeheartedly wish more restraints were being imposed by our government instead of the current crazy "do nothing, wait and see" approach. I have enormous sympathy with the care sector situation and am relieved that I don't have to go through not being able to comfort my mum but my thoughts are with those that are still there. I know some care homes are using FaceTime and Skype and your post card idea is a good one. It really depends on the stage the residents are at. In mum's nursing home at a guess possibly a third would be able to understand and maybe respond to these types of communication. My thoughts and love are with you all doing such an amazing job xxxxx
 

kindred

Registered User
Apr 8, 2018
2,457
You are wonderful folks and I know at mum's nursing home the care was fantastic. Mum died in January and for 3 years I visited everyday. Mum was totally disconnected from her surroundings and together with Alzheimer's she had been blind since her early seventies. I held her hand all afternoon and she knew someone was there. She was safe. With the best will in the world the nursing staff could not give one to one for a prolonged length of time. I totally understand the lock down situation and fully agree it has to happen. I wholeheartedly wish more restraints were being imposed by our government instead of the current crazy "do nothing, wait and see" approach. I have enormous sympathy with the care sector situation and am relieved that I don't have to go through not being able to comfort my mum but my thoughts are with those that are still there. I know some care homes are using FaceTime and Skype and your post card idea is a good one. It really depends on the stage the residents are at. In mum's nursing home at a guess possibly a third would be able to understand and maybe respond to these types of communication. My thoughts and love are with you all doing such an amazing job xxxxx
Oh that is so lovely, thank you with all heart. Let’s start a family postcard movement!!
Or a pretty card if postcards hard to find. Send in as many as you can, to your beloved family member, the staff, the cleaning staff, the chef, well you get the idea. It would be so immensely cheering, believe me.
We could make it the focus of the day. Love, best and thanks, Kindredxxxxx
 

YorkshireLass

Registered User
Feb 15, 2017
221
Ilkley
Great idea! Mum's words in much earlier years when she was doing the childcare for me whilst I worked - "Kindness costs nothing". So true but easily lost in our current situation xxx
 

Alex54

Registered User
Oct 15, 2018
307
Newtown, Wales
I think the idea of stopping all visitors is a badly thought out reaction. I think a more sensible solution would be to limit visits and spot check everyone i.e. temperature and signs of cold or coughs before allowing entry. My main concerns are with people near the end of their lives, it is really fair to say no you cannot visit them?
 

BSN

Registered User
Oct 1, 2017
26
My partner died last Saturday and her Care Home is now on lockdown, with the exception of the family who have a relative who is extremely ill at end of life.
Thinking back to how my OH was I would be bereft without seeing her.
I have offered to volunteer should they need extra help during any staff shortages. I think they are giving me some space at the moment but I fully expect, and would like to, get called in.
 

Quite contrary

Registered User
Jan 5, 2020
102
Ilford, Essex
I am very concerned that care homes are going into lockdown at this stage. Someone from my church, for whom I have pastoral care, is physically disabled and has mental health issues. He normally gets out and about meeting people for coffee but his care home has now gone into lockdown and I am more concerned for his mental health than whether or not he could be at risk of coronavirus!
 

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,527
Kent
Hmm....the Care Minister this morning suggested that care homes should review their position but that total lockdown from all close family visitors could have an equally damaging well being impact. How long are they going to enforce lockdown...2 weeks, a month, indefinitely if as is suggested this crisis could go on for months.Thinking about dad's NH when he was there, staff worked 3 days on and 3 days off, 64 bed home and therefore a lot of different staff. I feel that perhaps staff are of equal risk of bringing infection into the home as they are mixing with the general population and naturally going about their normal lives inbetween shifts balanced against 1 only allowed and named close relative visiting with strict hygiene protocol in place. I agree residents should not leave the setting to minimise risk to themselves and all residents. As I discovered with dad in this dementia world, whilst declining stages can remain stable for some time but suddenly it can take a downturn and as in dad's case he died within 2 weeks of a serious downturn I stayed at the NH the whole time, I would hope in similar circumstances a relative will be allowed to do the same during lockdown.
 

Baby Sister

Registered User
Sep 12, 2019
14
54
Got the phone call I have been dreading at Lunchtime yesterday = "Under a directive from the Care Commision home closed to all visitors until further notice. Nor is any resident allowed to leave the Home for a run or meal out. All incoming entertainers have been cancelled. I found the news devastating. OH and I have been together for 56 years and never been apart for more than a couple of days. I have visited him in the home most days since he became resident there. I do not go out of a sense of duty or to check up that he is being cared for properly (he is). I go because I miss him. Sometimes he is half asleep and I don't stay long, sometimes he is on good form and we have a walk together in the gardens, or a long chat over a cuppa. He retains his sense of humour, makes me laugh, cheers me up. Also I often get involved in the 'activities' and through this have become friendly with the caring staff and other residents. All this has now been taken from me and to make matters worse my other regular activities outwith the home have been cancelled. Can't even work in the garden as it is raining AGAIN.

I phoned my Dsis and BF this morning I suppose to have a moan. One said that I should look on the bright side, that I would not feel guilty about not visiting because it would not be my fault??, the other said not to worry because if OH became seriously ill they would let his next of kin in to see him!! They don't get it do they? I feel bereft of my purpose in life i.e. doing everything I can to make life easier for my .OH and that I have overnight become a (hopefully) temporary widow. Keep thinking that even violent prisoners in jails get visitors.
That must be really hard for you. You have already adapted to living apart after a long lifetime together and now you're enforced to not see him. That's not easy at all....thinking of you and your OH 😌
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
671
Care home where my partner has just had a respite week are allowing visitors on two days each week and every visitor must have their temperature taken. A sensible way of dealing with it. They won't be having respite care or day care.
 

Bezzy1946

Registered User
Jul 18, 2017
33
73
Watford
I was going in to care home on Friday to visit my husband along with my daughter when we were informed of a lockdown for two weeks maybe longer. I feel so sad as I had been ill myself with a bad cold so hadn’t been able to visit him seems like I haven’t seen him for ages. Not sure how he will cope as he asks for me constantly !!
 

jelba

Registered User
Aug 1, 2012
220
Huddersfield
Visit my mum yesterday brought up her mother's day card still open but going to close either today or tomorrow plus dad over 70 don't see either surving good
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
12,856
South coast
The idea of sending postcards is a good one. I did that for mum when her care home was in lockdown because of D&V. I just sent a simple message on the back saying I loved her and would see her soon. Mum carried it about with her and got everyone to read it to her. She thought I was away on holiday and was happy with that.
 

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