Hello everyone. This is quite long, sorry. This is all new to me but I'd really appreciate some advice. My 80-year-old mother was diagnosed with mixed dementia about six weeks ago. We'd been noticing changes in her for a while but for quite a while we put it down to hearing loss and her refusal to wear hearing aids. We now realise that she struggled to put them in properly and her confused conversation was more about dementia than hearing loss. Anyway, she lives alone an hour away from us in a charming but impractical cottage (steep stairs, hazardous bathroom) and has fallen out with a lot of her neighbours (another symptom that is easier to see with hindsight) and has wanted to move for a while to be nearer to us. We found a buyer for her house early this year, and had an offer accepted on a lovely flat in a retirement block about 10 mins from us. However it's independent living, and I'm not sure whether that's the right option for mum, so my question is how do you know when someone should move into care, and what kind of care home would be right for them? Mum's house has been very dirty, she does not like having a cleaner these days (though she did for 30 years previously) and she struggles with tidying up. She recently tripped on some clothes on the floor of her room and fell, breaking some ribs. I go and tidy, clean, do washing etc every weekend but I work full time and have two small kids, so it's a challenge. I think she would probably be ok if someone went in every day, but it's hard to arrange that, knowing she will be moving out soon. She insists she doesn't need it. Also she often loses things - bank cards seem especially vulnerable - and wanders around with loose bank notes visible in her bag or falling out of her pocket, so I worry that her judgement and awareness of her vulnerability is compromised. It's a miracle she hasn't been locked out of her house yet. She doesn't seem to be eating properly - she only wants smoothies and sweet things. But she keeps trifle and other perishable food in the cupboard and I worry about food poisoning. She doesn't often wash her hair and I think it's because she struggles in the bathroom. She's increasingly frail and unsteady. Mum has her heart set on moving to her new flat near us. I don't think she'd like the idea of care at all. Also I'm in a tricky situation, trying to help her with the move without having POA yet (the paperwork has been sent off but it takes some time). So I'm having to prove that she has the capacity to make the decision to sell so the sale can go ahead, but also deeply questioning whether I'm doing the right thing in moving her to a new flat in a fairly unfamiliar area in a city, even if it is nearer me and her grandchildren. Sorry again for the long post. But I've spoken to mum's GP and the Dementia helpline and so far nobody can really tell me much because, they say, every case is different. So I thought I'd post here in case someone has some experience that might be helpful. I don't want to wait for a disaster to happen to understand what she needs. Thanks so much.