• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

Live in care

Tiller Girl

Registered User
May 14, 2012
96
Has anyone on here ever had live in care for their partner or parent ? Or for respite ?

If so I'd like to hear about your experiences please.

I remember reading an article some time ago where someone had employed somebody to live in to help look after their partner instead of a CH.
 

Aragorn

Registered User
Jul 23, 2015
18
I have heard of this sort of arrangement. I know of a case where an elderly gent (now living alone after the passing of his wife) has taken in a student at much reduced rent in a sort of symbiotic relationship where he stays in his own house with the benefits of companionship and student pays less for accommodation in return for some services and presence. I imagine that it could work well if the personal relationships are good. I also know of a case where a much younger guy lost his wife to cancer at a young age and brought in a live-in au pair to bring up small children (some parallels with dementia care here - small children grow up, patients with dementia grow down)

One of the best documented cases of live-in care must be John Suchet's account in MY BONNIE, where he eventually gave up the struggle to care for his wife entirely by himself and recruited a live-in carer. That is often suggested, but it seems to me that the main carer is then looking after two people, viz the affected relative and also the live-in carer. And the main carer is far from free - respite is restricted although the burden is shared. One of the problems of live-in care is the cost. Care is £20/hour in round terms, and overnight care is typically over £100, so it's not a cheap solution. And it's a very intense relationship. I have seen it at close quarters caring for an MS sufferer and there had to be a regular turn-over of carers because of the emotional and social load. I'm sure it can work, but it's not a simple solution.
 

Tiller Girl

Registered User
May 14, 2012
96
There doesn't seem to be an easy or relatively cheap answer to any carers problems.

People must be able to get respite from somewhere and I'd really like to know where from.

At the moment our son is living with us but that may not always be the case.
 

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