List of do's and Don'ts

[jude1950]

Hi all

I have been to see my Husband who is in the assessment ward at a local hospital where he has been for the last 3months.

Whilst there I observed a carer "teasing " another patient who is there for assessment as she has become rather agressive and lashes out, hitting ,hair pulling etc at anyone who is near.

The carer told the patient that she had damaged the carers cardigan and shows the Patient a cardigan that has had a button ripped off.

Of course the patent has no recollection of damaging this garment and says so, the carer then asks the patient what she is going to do about it asking if the lady can darn it...the patient says no

Tha carer then says that the patient will have to pay for it the patient says I have no money.....the carer then says can you write me a cheque ? at which point the patient says in a frail voice I can't write a cheque.

The carer was not doing this with any malice but was being sardonic...unfortunately the dementia patient was unable to recognise that the carer was teasing.

My point is (sorry for the long post) There should be a list of do's and don'ts and the top of my list would be don't try to use humour in a sarcastic/sardonic/dry way and certainly don't score points off the vulnerable by deliberately confusing them.

Thankfully my husband goes to his new care home tomorrow I would hate to think anyone would have a laugh at his expense.

I can't get this poor lady out of my mind.

Judith

 

[TinaT]

Is it something about assessment wards do you think? My husband was born near Manchester in an area known as 'Tweedle Hill'. I was upset when a care worker on the ward gigglingly told me that Ken had them in stitches telling them he was born in Tweedle Hill!

I think she registered my annoyance by the way I said that he was quite right!!

They have a job which is dirty, dangerous and routine and I suppose they have to amuse themselves sometimes. I do not think it is amusing to treat patients who are very confused as buts for their own humour!

A strong ward manager is needed who spends more time actually on the ward and less time in the office tapping away on the computer. Good leadership is the key. Ward Managers are highly qualified, well paid professionals and they should be the key to all that happens on a ward.

xxTinaT

 

[Grannie G]

It`s not just assessment wards.

An over familiar carer in my mother`s nursing home seemed to need to impress me by winking at me and saying to my mother, `Guess who`s been a naughty girl today?`

My mother became very defensive and it only showed me just how little the carer knew about talking to people with dementia.

 

[Lanie]

Hi

My mum has been on an assessment ward since June.

I feel on these wards if the staff perhaps spent a little more time interacting with the patients it would be better for everyone but that doesn't seem the case. I know it is an assessment ward and they have to deal with all types of behaviour some very challenging. But my feeling is, if those patients were more occupied it may be better.

It seems that the most important thing is to keep them all in one room with some chairs and a TV and keep them sitting down. Some of these patients don't even have many or any visitors. Just because they have a form of dementia doesn't mean they don't get bored. I just feel that these places are not good for a persons mental state not just the patients but the visitors to.

Lanie

 

[Grannie G]

When my husband was on an assessment ward he was given one to one attention to begin with. Then it as gradually withdrawn, and I was told this was to enable staff to observe how he was in his own company, without support.

 

[SkiTTish]

Oh dear ,there are times when AD sufferers take things s literaly and carers should really know that tbh

Mind you though it can vary day to say with some .We can drive past some farm land with a particularly strong smell one day and I can say to mum "poooh ,is that you ? " and she wil chuckle and call me a cheeky minx ,next week I could say the same thing and she could seem quite upset and indignant

We do find humour in some of what mum says and does BUT the big difference is ,we laugh with mum not at her expense ,there is a world of difference .

 

[Canadian Joanne]

If I saw that sort of teasing behaviour in a home here, I would immediately speak to the director of nursing. I am assuming (at best) that it is ignorance on the part of the carer and I would advise the director that education would be required. Depending on the situation, I might or might not name names.

A short digression - earlier this summer, my husband and I saw an elderly lady walking around the car park of a shopping mall, looking lost and confused. We drove her home, which was a retirement home (different from nursing home) that was fairly close by. We spoke to the staff about her & everything seemed fine. The lady told me her room was on the first floor. A staff member standing by said with a rather condescending smile and tone that no, her room was on the second floor.

Now, this lady was from Bulgaria and in Europe, as in the UK, floor numbering goes ground, first, second etc. Here in North America we go first, second, third etc. No ground. I was happy I was there to point out (just as condescendingly, I suspect) the staff member's ignorance to her on about European floor numbering. Otherwise, the staff would assume my little old lady was gaga, instead of the fact that they were simply ignorant.

So perhaps (my longwinded post) another point would be not to make assumptions. You know the old saying, when you make an assumption you make an ASS out of U and ME.

 

[sad nell]

strange smells

Hi your post made me smile and reminded me of a similar situation, Trev my husband was going to meet the Duke of Gloucester last week for his services to fell rescue all spruced up wearing previous medal ,We were travelling in the car up to the Dales when there was this terrible smell, previous 2 days Trev had had the runs, ( he is doubly incontinent ) I immeadiatley thought oh no where am i going to sort this out,my mind running riot. but after a few miles the smell vanished and yes it had been cows in the field, we laughed not sure if Trev realised why but he laughed so all was well. I did not reconize the duke thought he was a body guard, i was thinking of wrong duke ( kent) trust me. Pam