LIONEL -respite etc ongoing

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by connie, Sep 15, 2005.

  1. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    I have spent most of today trying to access new respite care for Lionel. This was prompted by a phone call yesterday from another carer in ESSEX who had contacted 42 homes - to no avail, (for his wife 65, with Alzheimers

    I challanged a member of the social workers team about this today, who told be basically that if I cannot access respite (we are self funding) that my only answer would be to put Lionel in full time care........................You can imagine how I feel.
    He is not ready for a home, and I am not prepared to let him go yet. So the fight goes on.

    We are off to Spain on Saturday for 2 weeks. We are going with Lionels old school friends (it is super, they have been together for 50 years now), SO i WILL HAVE SUPPORT. bUT i WILL HAVE TO WORK TWICE AS HARD SO THAT HE PRESENTS HIS BEST SIDE TO HIS FRIENDS.

    It is not easy, but I feel that it will be the last holiday he has like this (I did say that last year) so I will make every effort to present him in a good light. He deserves nothing less.

    Just hope I can organise some respite upon our return, as I know I cannot go on like this (Nights are the worst)

    Will speak to you all again in twoo weeks, take heart, take care, and cut yourselves some slack. YOU DESERVE IT. Love Connie
     
  2. KarenC

    KarenC Registered User

    Jun 2, 2005
    122
    Los Angeles, USA
    Good luck! I hope the holiday goes smoothly so that you as well as Lionel get some pleasure out of it.

    Karen
     
  3. katieberesford

    katieberesford Registered User

    May 5, 2005
    114
    south wales
    holiday

    Hi Connie

    Have a lovely holiday - do try and relax. David & I are going to Spain next year, on our own, not been on holiday on our own since 1975! I can relate to the "is it going to be our last one abroad" syndrome, but hey ho we must make the most of every day with our loved ones.

    Take care and have a great time.

    Katiex
     
  4. Michael E

    Michael E Registered User

    Apr 14, 2005
    619
    Male
    Ronda Spain
    Connie hi,

    Have a wonderful holiday with Lionel - Although it may be difficult it is so important to keep as going in a normal (ish) sort of way - I believe.
    I find presenting the best side of Monique is only important to me - she does not worry about that -
    enjoy Spain
    regards
    Michael
     
  5. Lulu

    Lulu Registered User

    Nov 28, 2004
    391
    Connie, have a lovely time -thanks for all the advice you've given to me these past few months.
     
  6. CraigC

    CraigC Registered User

    Mar 21, 2003
    6,630
    London
    Hi Connie,

    We needed to arrange respite care for dad a few months ago. The only place the the social services could find for us was miles away in the next county - in other words pretty hard to find. What I began to realise is that only a handful of homes had be contacted - very grateful to the social services, but they just stopped at the first one they found.

    So, we did a lot of running around ourselves and found somewhere about 2 miles from my mothers house (instead of the 45 mile round trip we'd been taking). It wasn't easy, but it takes away so much stress if you can find somewhere closer to home.

    The best tip I can give is to contact the elderly care council direcltly or the alzheimers society. The societies helpine number is: 0845 300 0336.

    EAC: http://www.eac.org.uk/contact-elderly-accommodation-counsel.aspx

    The EAC also sent me a list of care homes in the area. But what is so usefull is the very personalised nature of the report and which are very detailed and providing specific information on facilities in homes and the people they cater for. There is even a checkbox for "Short stay provided". The society also provide

    The only problem with doing it through the social services is that I think they have specific homes that must provide 'respite' beds for the social services. These always tend to be full due to the shortage. However, if you contact a private home, not on their list, they may have a vacancy for short term and be happy to help. That's my take on it.

    The trouble we are finding now is getting the rigth long term care in place. But that is another story.......

    Best of luck and enjoy your holiday
    Kind Regards
    Craig
     
  7. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Hello, back from Spain........ It has been wonderful for Lionel, so stimulating. He has thoroughly benefitied from the two weeks. We attempted all sorts, some things worked out O.K. others, well we just had to 'sit this one out' as they say.

    I have come home exhausted............I had hoped to access respite for a week at the end of this month, (old residential retirement home, whereLionel has been many times before) but unfortunately, NO VACANCIES.

    However we are off to Suffolk tomorrow, to look at a new home (just opened) to access care. I shall put Lionels name down (I have no intention of letting him go YET) but need to access somewhere for respite care. Will keep you all informed.

    Take heart, stay calm, love Connie
     
  8. daughter

    daughter Registered User

    Mar 16, 2005
    824
    #8 daughter, Oct 4, 2005
    Last edited: Oct 5, 2005
    Hi Connie,

    So pleased to hear that Lionel had a good time in Spain, it sounds like you need a break now.

    By the way, I came to TP in a rage about hospital bureaucracy and I've never stopped to thank you for the welcome you gave me (you were the first one to respond). Thank you, and I hope you manage to arrange some respite soon,

    Best wishes and {{hugs}}
     
  9. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Welcome back, Connie, we've all missed you!
     
  10. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Just had to let you all know we hit the jackpot today!!!
    Went to visit this new home just opened in Suffolk, 5 star luxury. Expensive, but at least they are registered for under 65's.
    AND, best news of all, had some respite vacancies.

    Lionel was very impressed with the home, as they serve wine with lunch, and he does still enjoy a glass or two. They have promised to take him out whilst he is in there, so I have booked him in for 10 days later this month.

    Will keep you posted on this one. Warmest wishes, Connie
     
  11. CraigC

    CraigC Registered User

    Mar 21, 2003
    6,630
    London
    Great news! Glad you've found somewhere special. Sound like Lionel will feel that he's getting the full 'hotel' experience. Get plenty of rest.

    Take care
    Craig
     
  12. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    What excellent news! Wine with lunch...! Wow.

    Well done you!
     

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