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Lionel in respite

connie

Registered User
Mar 7, 2004
9,519
Frinton-on-Sea
I took Lionel into a new care home (very nice) on Sunday, so that I can have 4 weeks rest. (He is self funding).

For the first time ever he was upset, and did not want me to leave him there. He has always said that he would go into a home when the time came, and has never made a fuss at going for respite - I know how lucky I have been.

I rang on Monday to make sure he had settled, and whilst they reassured me that he was O.K. they were concerned about the deteriation in him in the last 3 months. All his records had been sent to the new home, as it is under the same management as the last one.

Everything is pointing towards him going into the home permanently, although I shall try to hang on until 2007 - keep setting myself new goals. In fact it will be a year next January when I brought him home last time, after I made a mistake in the home I choose for him. Ah well, that was another story.

I am off to Malta for a week with two friends, and shall spend the rest of my time doing the things I can no longer do with dear Lionel around. I feel so sad.
It should be such a peaceful time, but I am quite stressed and anxious. Not like me at all. Love to all, and take care of yourselves,
 

May

Registered User
Oct 15, 2005
627
Yorkshire
Hi Connie
You always have kind words for fellowTP'ers, so just wanted to say try and de-stress in Malta, enjoy your friends' company and some sunshine (hopefully). Come back rested and refreshed and try not to worry about Lionel, I know, easier said than done! Love and take care.
 

Amy

Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
3,454
Hiya Connie,
It should be such a peaceful time, but I am quite stressed and anxious
Come on Connie. Which rule book did you find that in? You've been having a tough time (understatement), and Lionel being upset will have made yesterday very difficult for you both. Allow yourself time to unwind - the switch cannot just be flicked. Sad is OK, comes with the territory of loving.
Hope you have a lovely time in Malta - post a piccy when you get back.
Love Helen
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Hi Connie

We all understand how stressful it is, putting your loved one into care. But it is obvious how much you love Lionel, and he knows that too.

Have a lovely holiday, you'll feel so much better and more able to cope when you come back.

With many thanks for your words of support to me and many others,

Skye
 

Norman

Registered User
Oct 9, 2003
4,348
Birmingham Hades
Dear Connie
I do hope you can enjoy your break and that you will feel better for it.
It should be such a peaceful time, but I am quite stressed and anxious
I do understand those feelings,the holiday is not what you really want,but the best that we can hope for these days
Norman
 

noelphobic

Registered User
Feb 24, 2006
3,452
Liverpool
I hope you have a wonderful holiday Connie and that it eases the stress and strain somewhat. It sounds like just what the doctor ordered!
 

janices666

Registered User
Jun 23, 2006
19
Kent
D
connie said:
I took Lionel into a new care home (very nice) on Sunday, so that I can have 4 weeks rest. (He is self funding).

For the first time ever he was upset, and did not want me to leave him there. He has always said that he would go into a home when the time came, and has never made a fuss at going for respite - I know how lucky I have been.

I rang on Monday to make sure he had settled, and whilst they reassured me that he was O.K. they were concerned about the deteriation in him in the last 3 months. All his records had been sent to the new home, as it is under the same management as the last one.

Everything is pointing towards him going into the home permanently, although I shall try to hang on until 2007 - keep setting myself new goals. In fact it will be a year next January when I brought him home last time, after I made a mistake in the home I choose for him. Ah well, that was another story.

I am off to Malta for a week with two friends, and shall spend the rest of my time doing the things I can no longer do with dear Lionel around. I feel so sad.
It should be such a peaceful time, but I am quite stressed and anxious. Not like me at all. Love to all, and take care of yourselves,
Dear Connie.
We all know how hard it is to put a loved one in a care home especially when they get so upset and want to go home, i know i had to do that over ayear ago and it was the hardest think i have ever done. Please try your best and enjoy your holiday (you deserve it), and try not to worry to much about Lionel, i know it is easier said than done,( i know i still worry now ) but he is in the best place and he will be well looked after. I know you will feel sad that Lionel is not with you, but do try and enjoy your break, love to you and take care of yourselve.
Janice.:)
 

susie

Registered User
Nov 30, 2003
82
shropshire
Dear Connie
Try not to feel so stressed and anxious as you have done well with Lionel so far. Go away and spoil yourself as you are a very special person to have coped for so long. I have just a 2 weeks holiday and it gives you not only a fresh outlook but also determination to keep going when you get back. Nobody would do the job you do from choice so you deserve the break. Keep focused on recharging you batteries as you know Lionel will be well looked after.
Regards
Susie
 

Lucille

Registered User
Sep 10, 2005
542
Dear Connie

You are such a caring person. Enjoy your holiday in Malta and try not to get too anxious about Lionel... know that's not always easy but he will be cared for.

Take care:)
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
71,827
Kent
Dear Connie, When I first began posting on TP, yours was the face and yours were the posts I most identified with.
The last post I read, of yours, telling of Lionel`s slow decline, filled me with sadness, especially as it was obvious your health is suffering too.
Please enjoy your holiday as best you can. Don`t let the guilt win. You need to recharge your batteries for what`s ahead.
Like you, I`m trying to make the most of what little time we have left to share. I know I`ll have hard choices to make in the future, but I`ll face them when I come to them.
Take care.,,,,,,,,,,,Grannie G
 

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