1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    I took Lionel into a new care home (very nice) on Sunday, so that I can have 4 weeks rest. (He is self funding).

    For the first time ever he was upset, and did not want me to leave him there. He has always said that he would go into a home when the time came, and has never made a fuss at going for respite - I know how lucky I have been.

    I rang on Monday to make sure he had settled, and whilst they reassured me that he was O.K. they were concerned about the deteriation in him in the last 3 months. All his records had been sent to the new home, as it is under the same management as the last one.

    Everything is pointing towards him going into the home permanently, although I shall try to hang on until 2007 - keep setting myself new goals. In fact it will be a year next January when I brought him home last time, after I made a mistake in the home I choose for him. Ah well, that was another story.

    I am off to Malta for a week with two friends, and shall spend the rest of my time doing the things I can no longer do with dear Lionel around. I feel so sad.
    It should be such a peaceful time, but I am quite stressed and anxious. Not like me at all. Love to all, and take care of yourselves,
     
  2. May

    May Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    627
    Yorkshire
    Hi Connie
    You always have kind words for fellowTP'ers, so just wanted to say try and de-stress in Malta, enjoy your friends' company and some sunshine (hopefully). Come back rested and refreshed and try not to worry about Lionel, I know, easier said than done! Love and take care.
     
  3. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    Hiya Connie,
    Come on Connie. Which rule book did you find that in? You've been having a tough time (understatement), and Lionel being upset will have made yesterday very difficult for you both. Allow yourself time to unwind - the switch cannot just be flicked. Sad is OK, comes with the territory of loving.
    Hope you have a lovely time in Malta - post a piccy when you get back.
    Love Helen
     
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Connie

    We all understand how stressful it is, putting your loved one into care. But it is obvious how much you love Lionel, and he knows that too.

    Have a lovely holiday, you'll feel so much better and more able to cope when you come back.

    With many thanks for your words of support to me and many others,

    Skye
     
  5. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    Dear Connie
    I do hope you can enjoy your break and that you will feel better for it.
    I do understand those feelings,the holiday is not what you really want,but the best that we can hope for these days
    Norman
     
  6. noelphobic

    noelphobic Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    3,452
    Liverpool
    I hope you have a wonderful holiday Connie and that it eases the stress and strain somewhat. It sounds like just what the doctor ordered!
     
  7. janices666

    janices666 Registered User

    Jun 23, 2006
    19
    Kent
    D
    Dear Connie.
    We all know how hard it is to put a loved one in a care home especially when they get so upset and want to go home, i know i had to do that over ayear ago and it was the hardest think i have ever done. Please try your best and enjoy your holiday (you deserve it), and try not to worry to much about Lionel, i know it is easier said than done,( i know i still worry now ) but he is in the best place and he will be well looked after. I know you will feel sad that Lionel is not with you, but do try and enjoy your break, love to you and take care of yourselve.
    Janice.:)
     
  8. susie

    susie Registered User

    Nov 30, 2003
    82
    shropshire
    Dear Connie
    Try not to feel so stressed and anxious as you have done well with Lionel so far. Go away and spoil yourself as you are a very special person to have coped for so long. I have just a 2 weeks holiday and it gives you not only a fresh outlook but also determination to keep going when you get back. Nobody would do the job you do from choice so you deserve the break. Keep focused on recharging you batteries as you know Lionel will be well looked after.
    Regards
    Susie
     
  9. Lucille

    Lucille Registered User

    Sep 10, 2005
    542
    Dear Connie

    You are such a caring person. Enjoy your holiday in Malta and try not to get too anxious about Lionel... know that's not always easy but he will be cared for.

    Take care:)
     
  10. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,595
    Kent
    Dear Connie, When I first began posting on TP, yours was the face and yours were the posts I most identified with.
    The last post I read, of yours, telling of Lionel`s slow decline, filled me with sadness, especially as it was obvious your health is suffering too.
    Please enjoy your holiday as best you can. Don`t let the guilt win. You need to recharge your batteries for what`s ahead.
    Like you, I`m trying to make the most of what little time we have left to share. I know I`ll have hard choices to make in the future, but I`ll face them when I come to them.
    Take care.,,,,,,,,,,,Grannie G
     

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