Like a Hyperactive toddler...

[Rageddy Anne]

Thank you Jinx, for that idea....I had thought about the CQC, and how places that I know are really poor have received good reports. In fact, does anywhere actually get a really bad one?

Made me wonder, in fact, if the CQC inspection scheme was disbanded and its funding put towards actual help for carers, might not that be a better use of resources?

Families feedback need not stop....A lot of bad reports from families could trigger a totally unannounced inspection, or better still, an undercover inspection.

Or is it anarchic to suggest such things?

 

[Kjn]

Couple of ours I could mention were rated inadequate , when I saw one of them (recommended by liaison member of dads memory consultant ) , I agreed with the rating not the member recommending.
Another went into special measures and has apparantly had a new manager who is turning it around so must be something in the reports, or at least up here.

Hope you have a better day RA xx

 

[Rageddy Anne]

Couple of ours I could mention were rated inadequate , when I saw one of them (recommended by liaison member of dads memory consultant ) , I agreed with the rating not the member recommending.
Another went into special measures and has apparantly had a new manager who is turning it around so must be something in the reports, or at least up here.

Hope you have a better day RA xx

That's reassuring; I must be getting cynical in my old age!

Made contact with the Care Home's choice of GP. Nice friendly receptionist, but when I asked about which CPN they worked with, she said " what's a CPN?" It's a large practice with several premises, GPs seem to float between them....The jury's out, but I plan to try and see whichever doctor visits the Care Home.

Rob's GP had just prescribed tablets for mild diabetes when the Care Home place came up, and he hadn't yet started taking them. He would have seen the GP again two weeks later for a review. But none of that happened...and I didn't want to complicate his meds with the Care Home as I noticed they were a bit confused just by the routine ones. But now I shall seek out his new GP.

 

[Kjn]

Receptionist may be new ?
I'd go see the gp for a chat , explain re diabetic meds, be a case of nurse checking him or sugars etc. my dad is diabetic and on tablets, I don't know how he is being monitored at the moment but mum did his pin prick sugar test each morning or night.
His levels may be ok so nothing required, least it gets it off your mind and to see gp face to face?
Good luck , I worked for large gp centre I know what they're like xx

 

[Rageddy Anne]

Thanks Kjn, I expect the GP who visits the Care Home fortnightly knows more about Dementia than our local GP.

DIL is back from holidays, and when I mentioned the lack of tea, she wondered if too much caffeine might not be a good thing in Care Homes, as it's a stimulant. I hadn't thought of that, only that older people like tea, and in hot weather they need to drink. I got him some of those drinks with a straw and no added sugar......

 

[Ann Mac]

Thanks Kjn, I expect the GP who visits the Care Home fortnightly knows more about Dementia than our local GP.

DIL is back from holidays, and when I mentioned the lack of tea, she wondered if too much caffeine might not be a good thing in Care Homes, as it's a stimulant. I hadn't thought of that, only that older people like tea, and in hot weather they need to drink. I got him some of those drinks with a straw and no added sugar......

Mil is a real tea-lover, and shortly before she went into hospital, at a routine incontinence clinic visit, I was advised to get her caffeine-free tea. They said that not only could the caffiene be increasing her agitation, if only by a little bit, but also that it can affect the bladder and worsen urinary incontinence - I swapped to caffeine free, and Mil thankfully never seemed to notice the difference. So, even if the caffeine is something that they are trying to avoid, I guess I'm posting this to say that there are alternatives, that - judging by my tea-loving Mil - taste as good as regular tea bags, so there still really isn't a good excuse not to offer regular drinks xxxx

 

[Rageddy Anne]

Friend took Rob out to a cafe in a garden yesterday, and said Rob drank three cups of tea in rapid succession. I think I will take to the Care Home some of the decaf tea that's still in our cupboard. Also, recently discovered there's a caramel Rooibos that's delightful to drink, and no caffeine.

Our friend also said Rob was feeling cold, and was wrapped in a blanket. He took him out into the garden and sat him in the sun, and in no time Rob felt better. Why couldn't one of the Carers have done that? Am I being too fussy? Things like this make me feel I can't go far without checking in to see if he's all right, and often he's uncomfortable or thirsty, or dying for the loo. So how could I take a real proper break, when I'm filled with all these doubts?

The question is, is it better to keep looking for somewhere else, or do my best to try and devise improvements where he is? I have an invitation to join a friend in November for a lovely break, but don't feel I can be away that long.

 

[Rageddy Anne]

Mil is a real tea-lover, and shortly before she went into hospital, at a routine incontinence clinic visit, I was advised to get her caffeine-free tea. They said that not only could the caffiene be increasing her agitation, if only by a little bit, but also that it can affect the bladder and worsen urinary incontinence - I swapped to caffeine free, and Mil thankfully never seemed to notice the difference. So, even if the caffeine is something that they are trying to avoid, I guess I'm posting this to say that there are alternatives, that - judging by my tea-loving Mil - taste as good as regular tea bags, so there still really isn't a good excuse not to offer regular drinks xxxx

Thank you Ann Mac. Routine Incontinence Clinic? Never heard mention of anything like that here! Sometimes I wonder if this lovely part of England is a third world country, health care wise.

 

[Ann Mac]

Thank you Ann Mac. Routine Incontinence Clinic? Never heard mention of anything like that here! Sometimes I wonder if this lovely part of England is a third world country, health care wise.

The availability of services and support are so flipping uneven, across the UK, that its beyond a joke, Anne Once we had the initial appointment with the continence service, then I think in total, we got appointments for 2 or 3 'routine reviews' over the following 18 months. In between, if there was a deterioration, then I could phone and speak to someone about it - however, any changes to the 'pads/pants' ordered could only be made every 3 months - so if, say, two weeks after delivery of 3 months supply of slip pads, Mil deteriorated suddenly to the point where I found that pull ups were now more appropriate, those pull ups couldn't be supplied until 3 months from the date of the previous order - which is pretty much what happened, and which meant that for over 2 months, Mil was paying for essential incontinence products. Not ideal - but I'm well aware that its a whole lot better than the service in other parts of the UK

 

[jugglingmum]

The question is, is it better to keep looking for somewhere else, or do my best to try and devise improvements where he is? I have an invitation to join a friend in November for a lovely break, but don't feel I can be away that long.

Anne - I have been following your posts, and I do think that you should keep looking for somewhere else. Whatever you manage to bring about as improvements you will never relax whilst he is there, I suspect. It may well be that having settled into care home routine he will be less challenging now and you will have a wider range of choices.

 

[Rageddy Anne]

Anne - I have been following your posts, and I do think that you should keep looking for somewhere else. Whatever you manage to bring about as improvements you will never relax whilst he is there, I suspect. It may well be that having settled into care home routine he will be less challenging now and you will have a wider range of choices.

I fear you might be right, JM, but I haven't found anywhere yet that I can be sure is better. Yesterday when I visited I found him enduring an urgent need for the loo that he couldn't manage himself, and I ended up showering him and changing all his clothes. My companion said I shouldn't have to do that, it's what the Care Home should be doing, but they said he'd been, successfully, to the loo twice and they can't always know if someone needs to go again. Should I accept that? I don't know. All I do know is I don't feel I can go away for any length of time knowing those needs don't always seem to be being addressed.

 

[jugglingmum]

It is so hard when every time you visit there is an issue, you cared for him as long as you could at home, but you need a rest, and to enjoy your visits to him, not be doing the donkey work.

I hope you can find somewhere suitable soon which will enable you to go away.

 

[Kjn]

I fear you might be right, JM, but I haven't found anywhere yet that I can be sure is better. Yesterday when I visited I found him enduring an urgent need for the loo that he couldn't manage himself, and I ended up showering him and changing all his clothes. My companion said I shouldn't have to do that, it's what the Care Home should be doing, but they said he'd been, successfully, to the loo twice and they can't always know if someone needs to go again. Should I accept that? I don't know. All I do know is I don't feel I can go away for any length of time knowing those needs don't always seem to be being addressed.

RA il email you xx

 

[Ann Mac]

It is so hard when every time you visit there is an issue, you cared for him as long as you could at home, but you need a rest, and to enjoy your visits to him, not be doing the donkey work.

I agree 100% with JM, Anne. Working in homes, it wasn't unusual to have relatives who like to do little bits of care for their loved one - perhaps doing their Mum's nails, or helping the L.O. have a meal if they had difficulty feeding themselves - but toileting and showering someone should absolutely not fall on a family members shoulders. I could possibly accept - as long as it wasn't a regular occurance - that after toiletting him twice successfully, they couldn't know that he would need to go again so soon, if for whatever reason he wasn't able to let them know - but the leaving you to deal with the showering is completely unacceptable. Care homes charge big bucks to provide that sort of care - there is no justification for a family member feeling like they have no choice but to provide it because the home isn't

I really hope you can find an alternative place that offeres much better standards - it really is dreadful if after the way you were left to struggle at home for so long without proper help, that you are now still struggling and unable to rest and recover because the homes standards of care are not up to scratch xxxxxx

 

[Rageddy Anne]

The search goes on for somewhere better, but I'm mindful that Rob can be a challenge, and this place can manage that....He had to be ushered into the managers office one day last week, because he was organising The Great Escape, and agitating others." We're prisoners and we're all going to DIE!" ( he's right of course, sometimes his moments utter of lucidity amaze me).

Another resident roars constantly, sounds like panic, and his room is very close to Rob's, so Rob gets terribly upset...thinking someone is in trouble send wanting to know why no one is helping him.

Are these things normal in a Care Home? I don't know.

 

[Rageddy Anne]

One day there were screams of protest and anguish that went on for ages from a room close to Rob's. Rob was upset. One of Carers in the corridor said to another " That's Sarah, we had to call her family in to shower her. she wouldn't let us do it".

I know they mustn't use force, and the lady in question is extremely difficult, but what about families? Presumably the law requires that nobody should force anyone to do what they don't want to do, including family. So, what's to be done?

I can shower Rob, sometimes it can take an hour of patient persitance, and he does get indignant, but we get there....If he screamed " No no no no no no!" I'd change the subject and try another way after a short interval. Is that how professional Carers are supposed to manage? I'm only an amateur.

 

[Spamar]

And nobody has to look after another person. What would the care home do if there was no family?

 

[sleepless]

One day there were screams of protest and anguish that went on for ages from a room close to Rob's. Rob was upset. One of Carers in the corridor said to another " That's Sarah, we had to call her family in to shower her. she wouldn't let us do it".

I know they mustn't use force, and the lady in question is extremely difficult, but what about families? Presumably the law requires that nobody should force anyone to do what they don't want to do, including family. So, what's to be done?

I can shower Rob, sometimes it can take an hour of patient persitance, and he does get indignant, but we get there....If he screamed " No no no no no no!" I'd change the subject and try another way after a short interval. Is that how professional Carers are supposed to manage? I'm only an amateur.

Amateur only as in 'unpaid'. Your experience makes you a pro in my opinion, as no doubt are the family of Sarah.
But it seems wrong to me that someone is paying the care home to do work that they are handing over to unpaid family. It's not a hotel, providing a bed and meals -- but supposedly an institution staffed by people competent enough to provide for residents' needs, including that very crucial one of personal care. Where the spouse / family member actively wishes to be involved in helping with meals when visiting, or doing nails etc. -- fair enough. But I hope we don't see a trend whereby the 'not being able to force' someone to receive personal care is just an excuse for laziness or poor training.
Because indeed -- what does happen when there is no family?

 

[Ann Mac]

Amateur only as in 'unpaid'. Your experience makes you a pro in my opinion, as no doubt are the family of Sarah.
But it seems wrong to me that someone is paying the care home to do work that they are handing over to unpaid family. It's not a hotel, providing a bed and meals -- but supposedly an institution staffed by people competent enough to provide for residents' needs, including that very crucial one of personal care. Where the spouse / family member actively wishes to be involved in helping with meals when visiting, or doing nails etc. -- fair enough. But I hope we don't see a trend whereby the 'not being able to force' someone to receive personal care is just an excuse for laziness or poor training.
Because indeed -- what does happen when there is no family?

Spot on!

When I worked in a care home, there was absolutely no way that we would expect or even encourage family to take over care tasks like showering. We did have some residents that were impossible to shower/bath though - and if, after we had tried a variety of stratagies, on numerous ocasions and we were in a situation where attempting to bathe someone resulted in them becoming upset to the point that there was a risk of injury to them or the carers, then baths and showers would be replaced by bed baths/full washes - now that occasionally meant that some residents needed up to 3 staff, and all 3 of us would be dodging blows throughout - but I never once dealt with a situation where we carers were not able to at least wash someone thoroughly (and if you know what you are doing, a bed bath/strip wash can get someone just as clean as the shower/bath!)

Its just wrong that you or anyone else, Anne, are in a situation where you are having to take on this sort of care when the home is being paid to provide it. It just isn't fair or good enough, hun xxxx

 

[Rageddy Anne]

Better news...

Just got in after getting to my Rob's " home" unexpectedly early. I like to keep them on their toes, and this morning they passed with flying colours; he was being very patiently helped to shower and dress. I stood in his room and listened for a bit....he was being very uncooperative but the Carer got the job done with gentle persuasion. Very reassuring, as she wouldn't have known I was there.

I sat with him when he had his breakfast, and they made him porridge followed by a bacon sandwich, and a large mug of coffee as well as a cordial drink.

Then we sat in the newly created garden, mature trees, grass, nice planting in raised beds, including some vegetables...next year it will be a picture with the new jasmine and roses and other climbers covering a new pergola. A nice touch is the laundry door is always open to the garden, and they hang washing out in the fresh air to dry.

Back inside for coffee and biscuits, 1950s music playing in the background.....and nothing was too much trouble...

He's been in a difficult mood recently, ( full moon?) and there's another man with a similarly impatient manner...strange, because at other times they seem to quite like each other. Rob spoke nicely to a lady sitting by herself and she beamed. I'm beginning to get the feeling of a family, and I think Rob is too, as he's getting to know faces and they know him.

So, today I felt it probably wouldn't be a good idea to disrupt what has been achieved to try somewhere unknown.

I've had an army of visitors for him, all dropping in unannounced at odd times, and all putting the same points forward....We all suggest that visitors be enabled to make tea whenever it's needed, because it would save the Carers time. Maybe we'll get a breakthrough...there is a little tea bar which is rarely manned, but I've noticed it has been more recently.

We're working on more frequent attended visits to the toilet.... A friend is going to pop in this afternoon, and I only left at 12 o'clock........

I can see now that everything depends on what the Carers are like....It seems to me that good Carers can make or break a Care Home environment.......and everything else is secondary.....today there was a good team.