Like a Hyperactive toddler...

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Rageddy Anne, Apr 27, 2016.

  1. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    Still pending, Sam, as I've asked for a scan first to see if the cancer that needs a mastectomy is the only one. If not, I'm not sure, at my age, if I want several more years of treatments that will be unpleasant, besides being distressing for my family...
     
  2. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    No longer hyperactive...

    The hyperactive toddler has gradually become less and less active as his dementia has continued its erosion of the man we knew. Sometimes I almost wish that man to be back, throwing his teddies out of the pram and stamping his foot angrily! But he was in such distress.

    But that's the nature of dementia as we currently know it, and what we need is a better understanding of how and why it attacks some people and not others. Newspaper headlines implying that the cause is related to lifestyle can be very hurtful to people who have done everything right, and yet still find themselves fighting the awful battle.
     
  3. margherita

    margherita Registered User

    May 30, 2017
    2,416
    Female
    Italy, Milan and Acqui Terme
    Have you already had your scan scheduled?
    Waiting is always so distressing
    Take care of yourself,Anne.
     
  4. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,322
    Kent
    I hope you enjoyed meeting others at Bristol, Anne. Hopefully it will provide a better connection which might help support you through the coming increasingly difficult times.

    It may be painful to see less hyperactivity in Rob but surely not as painful as the torment he was in in the earlier stages.

    I do hope you won`t need major surgery.
     
  5. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,484
    East Sussex
    I'm glad that worked for you, I made a few lovely friends in Liverpool, it does help :eek:
     
  6. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,484
    East Sussex
    I understand your thoughts, I think it's a very personal decision, you are the one who has to get through the treatments. :eek:. Hope you get all the support you need to help you through ;)
     
  7. Lizzie6391

    Lizzie6391 Registered User

    Sep 11, 2017
    5
    Mrs

    My Dad seems hypractive particularly when wanting to go home, he has been to the consultant today but is righr as rain when he sees anyone like that, as soon as he comes home starts saying he hasn't seen his Mom & then atarts walking, he has walked there 8 times today, he has a tracker but generally you can put money on where he willl be
    He goes to a local newsagent or chip shop, they phone us to say he is there we fetch him back, the police bring him & members of the public but as soon as he comes hone he goes again, im worried something is going to happen, hes has become more aggresive towards my mom ( aged 80) partucularly when she brimgs him back, its torture for him , he really doesnt want to live there, my mom doesn't want to live on her own either, what can I do ? It iis driving us all crazy ? I feel its a disaster waiting to happen, I even rang 111 tonight but they didn't want to listen as my Dad wasn't there, he doesnt calm down until he is phyiscally exhausted & that was 10 pm tonight , can anyone help ? I feel so guilty of the thought of resbite or a care hone but I know thats what hes edging to !
     
  8. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    #448 Rageddy Anne, Sep 12, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2017
    Hello Lizzie. So sorry to see what you said about your dad. Your poor mum must be worn out!
    Sometimes a doctor can prescribe a sedative that might help a little, but that need to go somewhere else is very strong.

    There's a thread here titled Groundhog Day, about wandering and also the wanting to go home phase, which might be related.
     
  9. RedLou

    RedLou Registered User

    Jul 30, 2014
    1,162
    Hi R-Anne - just popped in to see how you are. Very pleased to see the macabre sense of humour! Take care and sending you a massive virtual hug.
     
  10. Amethyst59

    Amethyst59 Registered User

    Jul 3, 2017
    5,738
    Female
    Kent
    Hello, Anne. I was just wondering if you have....actually, I think I might pm you!
     
  11. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    The good news is they don't think my cancer has spread, so it will make sense to have the operation to remove it. Now must just get on with it.

    Rob is certainly not hyperactive any more, and I can't see that changing. The blessing, in a way, is that he seems almost unaware of his predicament, and apart from protesting weakly when he's moved and being dressed and washed, he's relatively peaceful some of the time. But, as they ease off the meds, he does try to speak, and occasionally manages a few words that make sense...To my surprise he managed to say he'd like to go home....Oh dear.... But then he's peaceful again, and I'm pretty sure he enjoys the watermelon cubes I feed him.

    He's lost a great deal of weight....my poor Rob, who was so sturdy...
     
  12. Amethyst59

    Amethyst59 Registered User

    Jul 3, 2017
    5,738
    Female
    Kent
    Oh, Anne...this is a mixed post...I just saw the first sentence and my heart lifted...I am SO pleased for you. Teeth gritted and get through the op. But then, I saw about poor Rob..and poor you. B!€€#¥ dementia.
     
  13. Sam Luvit

    Sam Luvit Registered User

    Oct 19, 2016
    5,484
    East Sussex
    Good news on the not spreading :rolleyes: , hope your SIL will be holding your hand, but suspect you will grit your teeth & get on with it. It's ok to think of yourself ;) , take some time out for you :eek:
     
  14. Amy in the US

    Amy in the US Registered User

    Feb 28, 2015
    4,624
    USA
    A mixed post, indeed, Anne. While it's not the same with a parent, of course, I am never really prepared for the changes in my mother, and it's always uncomfortable to reflect on the decline. While her lack of awareness of her condition is preferable to her anxiety and distress of earlier in the disease, it comes with a concomitant loss of ability and self that is invariably, well, horrifying. I'm sorry.

    However, I am cheered to hear that the medicos don't think your cancer is metastatic, thank goodness. Of course you can't exactly look forward to the procedure, I'm sure, but I'm glad you will be getting those unhelpful bad cells removed. Sending you much care and concern.
     
  15. Ann Mac

    Ann Mac Registered User

    Oct 17, 2013
    3,701
    Anne, your last post made me both sigh with relief - I am so glad that the cancer hasn't spread and that the op can go ahead - and feel very sad when I read about Rob's decline. As others have said - a very mixed post.

    Mil's also declined quite rapidly lately, and so I can understand how that leaves you feeling, at least a little bit - very different when its your husband, I can imagine. Sending you much love, take care of yourself as much as you can, hun xxxx
     
  16. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,431
    Female
    Dundee
    I'm so played t hear the news about your own health RA. I'm sorr though t hear about Rob.
     
  17. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    THANKYOU for kind wishes and understanding..DIL saw Rob yesterday and said he was enjoying music...He did Lalala along to Land of Hope and Glory the other day, so there's still a shadow of him....
    Sorry to read about MIL Ann.. Two buoyant spirits aren't they?
     
  18. reedysue

    reedysue Registered User

    Nov 4, 2014
    4,591
    Scotland
    I'm so glad that you have had good news and that your op can go ahead xxx
     
  19. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,501
    Female
    Near Southampton
    Such positive news about your health and as such showing the way ahead more clearly. That must be such a relief for you.
    It's so sad to see the changes this disease brings. The medications make a difference too and that's a case of swings and roundabouts, it helps in some ways but makes other things worse. I hope for both your sakes that a compromise that helps Rob feel both comfortable and peaceful can be found. :)
     
  20. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    5,060
    Female
    Chester
    Such a positive post about your health, hopefully now everything can move at full speed to make sure everything is dealt with.

    Sorry to hear about Rob, hard thing about this disease is the slow downward spiral
     

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