Hi RA
I'm still following you and want to firstly send you a big ((((hug)))) for what you are dealing with yourself and also to pray that Rob settles in his new place and the carers soon understand how to help him and yourself with his care. Xxxx k

 

I`m so sorry to hear your bad health news Anne.. What a lot is on your plate.

 

Oh Anne I'm so sorry to read about your health news. Wishing you strength.

 

Sorry to hear about your double difficulties Anne. Hope you have some support from family. Best wishes and strength to you.

 

Anne, think of your health first.
I hope you won't be alone to face the operation.
You have been taking care of others for so long.
Who will be taking care of you now?
My thoughts are with you

 

Hi RA

Please lean on your lovely sister in law & smile about the cat.

Know you are not alone & there is an army out here cheering you on & holding you close

 

Like Amy, I'm just back from holiday, so am only just catching up with your news Anne - I am so, so sorry that you are having such an horrendous time at the moment, sweetheart And so glad that your lovely sister in law is being there for you. Please, please follow the medical advice, continue to let your sister in law help, and know that all of us are thinking of you and sending much love, healing thoughts and many positive vibes in your direction xxxxxx

 

Anne, glad you are not alone!
Sorry if I asked an inopportune question. I'm new to the forum and I did not remember you have a beautiful sister-in-law.
A big hug !!

 

Lack of sleep avd hyperactive

I'm sorry to hear about the lack of sleep. I looked after my mum for over 3 years in her own home and her inability to sleep broke me as I really need sleep myself. She could do nothing for herself but that wasn't the problem. I asked the Dr for sleeping pills for her but that didnt go down well. I feel I had no choice but to put her in a residential Home. She has been there for nearly two years and is very unhappy. Staff have to cope with her wandering around at night and often wimpering and whining for attention like a child. Recently she had unexplained bruising on her face. One or two of the other residents have a go at her (verbally only I hope) as they want to watch TV and she is making a noise. More often than not she becomes up set with me or is distressed. She was prescribed anti depressants by the community mental health team and these were increased but they don't make any difference. They have finally agreed to come and review as the Home chased this up.

I wonder why some people with dementia can't sleep. I know she doesn't differentiate between night avd day and does cat nap. I reluctantly came to the conclusion that I couldn't be deprived of sleep continually while she roamed the house yelling help and tried to open the front door. It's not a good situation now as I dread going to the Home - i always find a problem and surprisingly there are times when there is no staff supervision which is apparently acceptable. It's not like being in her own home where I could be in control of her care. Because of the sleep problems she would need waking care 24x7 at a cost of around £2000 a week plus the running costs of the house and that is not sustainable. The cost now is just over £1000 per week.

I am sorry I can't offer any solution. I think it's great that the alzheimers society are seeking funding for research but I do think there needs to be more help to improve the quality of life for those suffering with dementia in the here and now.

 

My heart goes out to you. I thoroughly appreciate what you are going through. My dad, who lives with Alzheimers and Vascular Dementia was like that up until 6 months ago. Our neuropsychiatrist prescribed Quentiapine after trying other meds - and it has been effective. He goes to sleep now at 9:30 pm and wakes up at about 6pm. I used to be awakened every half an hour before Quentiapine. During the day, he is still rather hyperactive, but we have been able to distract him with colouring and drumming activities, plus spending time with him watching Nat Geo Wild and American Ninja Warriors. The actions in these shows tend to sustain his attention.

Hope that you will find that sleep you so deserve.

 

Anne, you need serenity and strehgth because you have to take care of yourself.

Your husband is more peaceful and the care home is reliable, so you can plan what to do and what decisions to make

 

Hi RA

I do hope you are remembering to look after yourself in amongst all this

 

Oh, Anne, I've just realised that this thread is yours....doh. I just assumed that you were in the same sort of situation as me...but you and Rob, are much further down the road...and now you are waiting for surgery. You poor love, life is not at all fair is it? Thank goodness for your sister in law, and the care home that you managed to find for Rob. Do you have a date for surgery yet?

 

Like Amethyst, I have only just become aware that this thread is your's. I have seen it in scanning the site but it didn't register and I am always hesitant to intrude on an established thread in case it isn't always welcomed.
It was lovely to meet you in Bath and, although one can't say it was exactly restful - these city meetups never are! - it was certainly a pleasant change from day to day life, at least for me.
I hope you get a date for your operation soon and at least get it over with. It is never easy to have these things hanging over you, especially when life is challenging in other ways as well. x