1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. lightworker

    lightworker Registered User

    Dec 17, 2015
    Hello My dearest friend who has shared a home with me for over 28years and is joint tenant has just been diagnosed with early Alzheimer's she wants me to have power of attorney and to be her advocate can you guide me in the right direction please she is single and does have family who have not been very supportive and I do not want to create unrest with them so I am not sure what I can do regarding her wishes
  2. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    You friend gets to decide who she trusts to speak for her when she no longer can. If you are willing to do it then her family have no option but to accept it. If you keep go9d records of visits and bills etc showing you are acting in her interest you will be covered. Go thriugh a lawyer to get the poa.
    Its a lot to ask so think carefully. She is very lucky to have a friend like you. Keep posting and welcome to the gang. You are among friends here.
  3. Beetroot

    Beetroot Registered User

    Aug 19, 2015
    As she seems to have capacity to make the decision, it would be worth communicating that to the family sooner rather than later, once the solicitor has been instructed so there are no (unpleasant?) surprises in the future. I hesitate to say it, but has she made a will? If not, she should while she still has the capacity to do so again to save problems later on.
  4. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    I am not so sure about communicating with the family. If she has early Alzheimers she almost certainly has capacity and I wouldn't want any estranged members of my family contacted when I had made a request - i would consider it insulting. She has asked and if you are willing then I should get to a solicitor as soon as possible and get it sorted. I agree about the Will and with Quilty about records of expenditure but presumably at the moment she manages all that.
    It is lovely for her to have a friend that she trusts - do make sure that you get health and welfare and finance otherwise you will not be able to help with any health decisions and in many ways that is most important as you will know what she wants.

    Welcome to TP xx
  5. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    Hi Lightworker, welcome to TP (love the Starwars sounding name)
    I can only echo what Beet says while she has capacity get all the paperwork sorted, power of attorney and all that and make sure the family know what's happening.
    I personally would use a solicitor rather than do a "home-made" will and doing the LPA on line that way you have an independent witness that what she does was of her own free will and not under any influence from you.
    What should happen is what your friend wants to happen and to make sure it does I'd get it all on paper, signed and witnessed so the "unpleasant surprises" Beet eludes to never happen.
    Normally I would say getting a Lasting Power of Attorney for both health and finance (you probably need both) is simple enough, however, in the circumstances it might be better to have someone independent set this up specially if you may inherit from her and because you're joint tenants.
    That's my advice others may see it differently but keep posting if you want to discuss it further.
  6. Blimey

    Blimey Registered User

    Jun 6, 2012
    Hi Lightworker.

    You really don't need a solicitor the forms are simple, you do need an independent person who knows your friend to verify her capability (this could be her GP, they sometimes charge a fee). Relatives will need to be notified and this is part of the process that the office of public guardian undertakes after you send the forms. I advise doing both the finances and health and care Lasting Power of Attorney and a second person may be sensible (or a replacement identified when you submit) just so you are covered into the future. Contact customerservices@publicguardian.gsi.gov.uk, or ring 0300 456 0300

    All the best

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