1. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Imagination is needed here.
    Picture a modern architectural designed dementia specific care home. Surrounded by bushland, landscaped gardens, lovely courtyards with paved walkways enclosed by high colour-bond picket style fencing.

    Now I'll get to the humour. Dad been feeling a little better the last few days I decided to take him to visit mum, as I drove up the circular drive to let him out at the entrance there in full view was someones washing hooked over the fence pickets swaying in the breeze. At first I was a little shocked as I have never witnessed this before then recognised the PJ's nickers and bra's. I thought Please God No... I said to dad look mum has been washing, he wasn't amused and I laughed, it did look funny. Dad said, what she set up bl..dy camp.

    Any how the down side, mum was dead to the world at the dining table I quickly retrieved the washing, unbeknownst to her. I had to wake mum, as the staff said mum was going out to a cafe by the lake to have fish and chips for lunch. Mum needed to be changed and was far from impressed about having to go out. WAIT TILL SHE FINDS HER WASHING HAS BEEN LIFTED.:eek:
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,561
    Kent
    Hi Taffy,

    It just shows how old habits die hard. Your father shouldn`t be embarrassed, she`s still maintaining her standards. It`s wonderful.

    Love xx
     
  3. Mameeskye

    Mameeskye Registered User

    Aug 9, 2007
    1,669
    NZ
    HI Taffy

    That brought a smile to me. I remember my Mum always used to wash ehr knickers out by hand and I would find them hanging in her room when I went to visit. :D

    Hope she enjoyed the fish and chips!!

    Love

    mameeskye
     
  4. elaineo2

    elaineo2 Registered User

    Jul 6, 2007
    945
    leigh lancashire
    my mum says her knickers look like a row of pigeons who have just been shot.Good you could laugh about it.Men don't always see the funny side!bless her!love to you all elainex
     
  5. Cliff

    Cliff Registered User

    Jun 29, 2007
    777
    North Wales
    Thank you Taffy,

    Bless you for the light touch with your family situation.

    Will be smiling at this at bedtime.

    Very best wishes
     
  6. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Thanks All for your replies,
    I am pleased to know it brought a smile. Today when I seen mum she had no memory of her day out yesterday, but I was told by the activity carer that mum seemed to enjoy herself and even managed to eat lunch without falling asleep, which surprised me. Even though I know mum sleeps a lot I never knew she fell asleep while having a meal and this explains her asleep yesterday at the dining table. I feel she is slipping further along. It was nicely suggested to me to bring mum a clothes air er and pegs which she can set up in her room and do her own washing and then, they can sneak in and remove her clothes and send them to the laundry. I am agreeable and in theory it sounds good so I'll have to see if the laundry bit comes to pass. I don't understand my dad when it comes to mum and her dementia as his career was in psychiatric nursing and he was up their with the best of them. Strange how life is at times. I think as Sylvia said; Embarrassed. Regards Taffy.
     
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,561
    Kent
    What a lovely home Taffy, to accommodate your mother`s need to wash her clothes.

    Your father`s profession surprised me, but perhaps he can`t wear his professional hat with your mother.

    Love xx
     
  8. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    I hope Taffy won't mind if I tell you all that her Mum and my Mum are in the same Wing in the same Care Home!! (Amazing that we should meet through TP!!)

    Now the question I have for Taffy is:

    Was it your mother's pyjama pants (with long legs) I saw fluttering on the fence on Thursday, or is there someone else in their wing who likes to hang her washing on the fence???!! :D

    I can say they were very neatly hung up to catch the maximum breeze and sunlight!! :)
     
  9. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Nell and Taffy

    What a lovely coincidence that your mums are in the same wing!

    Taffy, there's a whole world of difference between coping with dementia patients professionally, and entering the strange world of our loved ones. Your dad is still very protective of your mum, and can't bear to see her, as he sees it, 'showing herself up'. I think we all feel a bit that way, hence all the threads about clothes and hygiene.

    But how lovely that the home came up with the idea of letting your mum do her washing, even if they take it away later to be laundered. That's a really caring home.

    Love,
     
  10. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Hi Sylvia Nell and Hazel,

    Yes Nel, that was her washing I guess better on the fence than hanging up in her wardrobe soaking wet. Mum went through a time where she hung it up soaking wet, so, I put plastic down to avoid water damage. Then mum forgot the washing process all together and everything got put away soiled. Mum can't comprehend the laundry system she needs a lot more help with her personal care. I am working on that. So, in the meantime I'll care for that need. I don't mind at all you mentioning our mum's are in the same care home.

    Sylvia, the home does have many positive points and everything is as homely as possible which is very much to the residents benefit. The rooms are theirs to decorate to their choosing.

    Hazel, I think dad's main problem is that he lives in the past where things were done very differently and were very regimental. I do feel that where mum is, that one attendant isn't enough to see to 16 residents. Unfortunately, that is how it is in most of the care homes here. Regards Taffy.
     
  11. DeborahBlythe

    DeborahBlythe Registered User

    Dec 1, 2006
    9,222
    Dear Taffy, your story about your mum's washing made me smile. Bless her! My mum used to wash out her tights each night by hand but can no longer do this. I do still find tights stashed in odd places but I think it's due to the carers now. They can't always decide where to store her clothes, so I found a skirt bundled up with some hats, and socks in the fruit basket:) !
     
  12. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Dear Deborah, thanks for your reply. Maybe, the staff have picked up some bad habits (LOL). Mum has her clothes air er now, but, is a little fuddled about it, so will wait and see if she allows it to stay. Things could be so simple if someone just took her clothes away when she got changed for bed, she is able and does change herself. Then of a morning the staff come on duty at 6.30am and mum is up, surely, they could take her soiled knickers and PJ's away. Then all I ask is, if someone could shower her at least three times a week their day and time of choosing. Do you think I'm been unreasonable?. This is the only help mum needs she never complains or bothers them in anyway, they have told me this many times, also, they told me what a wonderful help she is with clearing and wiping the tables even despite her sore shoulder. The showering and changing of clothes just simply doesn't register, but, she thinks that she has, mum even makes her own bed. Sorry for going on. Take Care. Taffy.
     
  13. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    Dear Taffy,
    No, of course you are not being unreasonable. Your Mum is a dear and, as you say, no trouble to the staff.

    I totally agree about the 16 to one ratio - it just isn't enough. Even my Mum says "these poor girls work way too hard. Why don't they put on more staff?" I've explained why (homes wanting to keep costs down) but Mum of course doesn't understand that. And frankly, neither do I!!

    If I was in charge ;) I'd have a checklist for each resident that staff followed - eg. for your Mum, the things you mentioned. There are some who need constant attention, but as you and I know, these people are in a different wing. Most of the residents just need a few things done to keep everything running smoothly.

    As Margaret W said in another post, even the good homes are not perfect. I guess it is just that we feel that some of the things needed for improvement are very minor and easy to manage - such as taking away the dirty clothes!

    Thinking of you.
     
  14. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Dear Nel, thanks for your reply. I often wonder how those poor souls fare. I believe you only have a certain amount of luck in life and I hope mum has enough luck left, so that she never has to find out.

    That home has such potential and only if the powers to be could see pass their greed, and, care about their staff and residents. How true is the saying; MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL.
     

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