1. Expert Q&A: Living well as a carer - Thurs 29 August, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of the person you care for will often come before your own. You may experience a range of difficult emotions and you may not have the time to do all the things you need to do. Caring can have a big impact on both your mental and physical health, as well as your overall wellbeing.

    Angelo, our Knowledge Officer (Wellbeing) is our expert on this topic. He will be here to answer your questions on Thursday 29 August between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Life turned upside down - so fast

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Cath59, May 4, 2015.

  1. Cath59

    Cath59 Registered User

    Jan 23, 2015
    Well, so far, so good. The hip turned out to be dislocated rather than fractured this time, though a general anaesthetic was still needed. She's back on the ward after taking quite a time in recovery. They say she's stable, drinking, but very confused. Too late for a visit today. We shall have to see what tomorrow brings.
  2. 100 miles

    100 miles Registered User

    Apr 16, 2015

    I am really sorry to hear that your family is having such a tough time at the moment. It must be awful being pulled in so many directions. Just try to fit in some time for you to let off steam. Music turned up full blast in the car and singing along? Even 10 mins in a hot bath can improve your view of life.
  3. jugglingmum

    jugglingmum Registered User

    Jan 5, 2014
    glad you had something positive in your day. I often read threads with positive stuff on and wish there was a facebook style like button, but don't leave a comment so I'm sure loads of TPers will have read this and smiled.
  4. Cath59

    Cath59 Registered User

    Jan 23, 2015
    My poor mother! I had two lovely visits. She didn't have a clue where she was, or what was going on, but seemed fairly painfree and happy. The first, she even seemed pretty self aware, just couldn't remember anything. She asked me what the names of my daughters were, and at the end apologised for "being so stupid" which was really sad. The second was rather more bizarre, as she couldn't work out what I was doing, having found her at the girl guides rally. There was something about an event we all went to on Tuesday that involved 5 bishops?????
    Today I visited in the evening as a very old friend was visiting her in the afternoon. The friend called me to tell me that she was in a lot of pain. I arrived as she was going down for an x-ray. Her hip has dislocated again (no fall this time). The doctor came to talk, and I signed a consent form for another operation removing the new hip. Apparently it will heal, and be pain free that way. She will be able to sit in a chair and "some people manage to walk". The alternative would be to put it back in again, but it's likely that it will keep popping out. Huge pain, and a hospital admission and operation each time. Her heart isn't strong, and she becomes horribly confused in hospital. I don't think it's really a choice, but I've just agreed to letting them do something that means she won't ever walk properly again, and may not walk at all. Without the dementia, she might well want to keep trying, but it all seems too much to put her through. Impossible to have to make a decision like that for someone else.
  5. Angela T

    Angela T Registered User

    Jul 13, 2014
    Dear Cath, I have just read all your posts - my mother also went downhill fast, following a stay in hospital... 5 months ago she was living at home and now she needs nursing care and cannot walk unaided.

    It really is hard to accept this decline in so short a time, and it is hard taking decisions for our mothers - for their health and their finances.

    I am glad you had 2 lovely visits today... My mother also is often self-aware but remembers very little. I have completely changed the way I interact with her...

    It is like a new relationship.

    It must be very hard for you not to be able to rely on your mother for support in caring for your brother. It is a bereavement process, in stages.

    Thinking of you,
  6. HelenInBC

    HelenInBC Registered User

    Mar 23, 2013
    I just read through this thread. I wanted to say you are really having a year! I'm so sorry all this has happened all at once in your life. So much to cope with.

    I hope you are doing okay this evening.

    Hugs from Canada

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