Losing mum and dad so closely my once busy life came to an abrupt stop I feel like I'm in a foreign place. I do feel a certain peace surrounds me but I'm void of much emotion. Mum's funeral service portrayed the TRUE mum no fanfare or colouring it was just MUM.... just how she loved to live....SIMPLY. She had touched many people in her life and the most unexpected people came with genuine fond memories and feelings of pride to be able to farewell someone that had left such a impression on them. This was very comforting to me, as with dementia she was forgotten but in death she was still remember for her kindness. Yesterday, hubby and I collected her ashes, so, as soon as family can be all together we'll scatter them. I'm going to try and get a permit to have a double headstone put on the grave beside dad....one half in memory of mum then the grave can still be used for family( I purchased the three graves beside dad because it is only a small cemetery ) if I'm not allowed then I'll have a plaque put on the Remembrance Wall. With dad's passing, as sad, as it was, I had closure I have not got that with mum....from the moment I talked with the carer after mum had passed away I had this feeling that something wasn't right....I know there was incompetence with the way she handle mum's care that night. With receiving mum's pharmacy bill on Friday I question a newly introduced tablet ( Zydol ) I knew she was having Panadol gel caps, Coloxyl with Senna and Talam. I have sent a request by registered post for mum's medical notes I'm not looking for blame and have no intentions in chasing shadows. I want to know how much and how often mum received this drug also I'll question the choice of drug as when I 'goggled' Zydol it wasn't recommended for people on antidepressants mum is on Talam or people with brain disease.....mum had a brain bleed last Jan and was also given too much serenace which resulted in her having a fall and being hospitalised. I can only try and make sense of why I feel so strongly that something isn't right, maybe, I'll never know. Thanks, Taffy. Love Taffy.