Well its the first time I have started a thread. I have been checking out the chat rooms but its a bit quiet in there. My Dad died in November and was admitted to hospital 6 weeks previous to this. He was mentally fine, but physically very ill, but my Mum had been suffering from dementia (undiagnosed) for some time. She had been my Dads main carer and he totally protected us from the seriousness of the situation. He was in total control mentally and was totally opposed to carers. My mum (with hindsight) must have been totally run ragged. My dad was a massively private person and very stubborn with it. It was not until he was admitted to hospital that we realized the seriousness of the situation. I took charge of the situation at the time (not realizing how this was going to be). I wanted my sister to - as a nurse, but to be honest she distanced herself from the situation. We did attend the memory clinic while my dad was at home but she wasn't actually diagnosed until after he died (a very difficult time). The period after this was extremely difficult - with her totally not acknowledging his death for months - which was very upsetting and difficult to deal with. She has no short term memory but is currently able to look after herself (shopping etc). I work full time and see her after work every day to help her with shopping lists, bins, mealtimes and anything else she needs assistance with. In her routine she can cope - but the early days were very bad with constant phone calls in a very upset state to me. Things have settled down a lot - and she is now on Memantine (medication) which seems to suit her. She has recently contracted a UTI which has left her very confused and I am feeling very pressurized. I got her an automatic pill dispenser months ago - which after a few days she adjusted to, but she cant seem to accept the extra tablet, which she is leaving out (take it out and leaves it on the table)- as she is aware it is extra and she doesn't remember what it is for. I am really hoping that this bad spell is just because of the UTI and that things will improve as I am finding it very difficult at the moment. I just want my lovely mum back - but sometimes all I can think of is the worst is yet to come. My brother lives away and my sister is happy to leave it all to me, she thinks mum 'plays me up'. There are so many other things I could add to this, but I appreciate I am rabbiting on a bit. As I said - Life is difficult!