I recently had to agree to the terribly difficult decision to put my mum in a care home after many years with me at home. The home is excellent and I am told that she is settled but mainly when I don't visit, as she often gets very agitated, when I am there. It was the best decision in the circumstances, I keep telling myself this. My question seems selfish but what now for me? I am in my fifties and it has been her and me for such a long time I feel lost without her, isolated 'and depressed. The world has moved on and left me behind. People keep telling me - gp etc, it is time to restart my life but how and what if I don't want to? Difficult though it was sometimes I want that life back but know that is impossible. People seem to think that I should feel free, I don't, if anything I feel bereaved without closure.