Levelling with Invisibles

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by whoknows, Nov 21, 2015.

  1. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    The Sweet North
    I am sorry, but I would not want the involvement of an Invisible who was only there for the inheritance. What kind of care would such a person give, if only there grudgingly, lured on by the proverbial carrot on a stick? The idea is not workable. The State should support carers better.
  2. garnuft

    garnuft Registered User

    Sep 7, 2012
    I think more people should leave all their money to animal charities.
    That would sort the wheat out from the chaff.

    My mother adored one of my brothers, he loved her in 'his' way.

    His way was not to visit her for months on end...18 months before she died, during her hardest struggle.

    He knew he was her golden boy but he was mistaken in thinking she couldn't see straight through to his heart.
    'He only comes here when he's fallen out with a girlfriend'.

    When mam died all five of us remaining children got equal shares.

    As Sleepless has said, care or don't care you're not forced to do it.

    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
  3. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    I do agree. Many of us put our lives on hold and I did it because I wanted to and because I couldn't have lived with myself afterwards if I hadn't but I'm a lucky one in many ways (although sometimes it felt very lonely) as I am an only child and didn't have to watch others doing nothing. It was bad enough when so called 'friends' and neighbours didn't bother anymore, broke my heart.
  4. Summerheather

    Summerheather Registered User

    Feb 22, 2015
    Carers allowance

    I think Carers Allowance is a joke for the amount of work involved. I work full time, my Mum lives with me and has AD so we don't get CA. I think AD is a really expensive disease. Most Carers I come across are living from week to week, it's a national disgrace when you think how much we save the Government.
  5. Adcat

    Adcat Registered User

    Jun 15, 2014
    I'm with you. I work full time. Then I go home to dad and look after him. I got care at home (dads self funding) for when I'm at work. One sibling sees dad twice a week for 6 hours in total. The other one has not been to visit for 5 months. I try to live in the present but worry sick about the future. Dads money will run out and social services will not be able to provide the care dad currently has at home.

    I would love the government to recognise dementia as an illness and not a social problem. It is an illness, it's a disease of the brain. I think it's scandalous. I would love the government to recognise working carers and give us a break. I've kept my dad out of hospital on numerous occasions. I try mybest not to even think about my siblings. I will keep doing my best but I wish someone would scream and shout and get us recognised.
  6. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    North Cornwall
    What I don't get is why we are classed as Unemployed. Xx
  7. whoknows

    whoknows Registered User

    Jul 31, 2012
    That's essentially what I am trying to get across. It could be the Invisibles who help to smooth the imbalance, or it maybe the Government.
  8. Adcat

    Adcat Registered User

    Jun 15, 2014
    I really don't know where you would start. Here's a rant while I listen out for dad;
    I've signed numerous petitions trying to get dementia recognised for what it is. The Continuing care framework is shocking. I'm linked into support from both the carers society and Alzheimers which is great for a shoulder to cry on, moral support, ideas etc, I've seen my MP. I've spoken to dads consultant. I follow current affairs. I hear all about us carers saving the govt the equivalent of the NHS in finance. Who in power is actually bothered? I've not heard the new care minister shouting out much. He is on Twitter spouting about a carers discount card in Bedfordshire and carers knowing their rights. Maybe I'm wrong but for me carers rights is just words on paper and have not made a shred of difference to my current situation. My experiences with social services has been underwhelming and I don't relish the prospect of ever having contact again. I know they are under staffed, overworked and stressed. So am I.
    It's the weekend after a hideous week at work. What am I doing? Looking after Dad. When will I get a break? When I go back to job on Monday.
    Still, it's thanksgiving and I must be grateful anf thankful for what I am currently dealing with as I know it could be a whole lot worse.
    Good night to you lovely people.

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