Letter writing

moviefan318

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
32
64
northamptonshire
hi margarita
no mum never had any mediction for her dementia as they said that her assessment score was so low and it would not help her as she had gone to far,I often wonder if I had faced up to what was happening to her we may have been able to slow the progress of it ,but then I was guided by dad (who normally was a very caring and capable man )who really I think just could not deal with the women he worship having this illness,because he did hide a lot from me even though I went ever day to look after them. After his death was the first time when she came to live with us that I really got the full picture, and mum told me that she was going funny as she called it
Sorry for rambling on but since dad died and then dealing with mum its like I have never had time to stop and think to long about anything as there is aways a problem to fight over or sort out
carol
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Carol No the feeling when you said, I
have never had time to stop and think to long about anything as there is always a problem to fight over or sort out
as that’s how I use to feel & may be did not want to stop anyway because if I did I just use to break down & cry , but there nothing wrong with that .gosh I did not stop crying only since last Christmas about dad mum what I could of could not have done .

I even wondered if I had not got mum on her medication ,would of it not been better why prolong it ? , then I just stop , it hit me its 4 years now I done my best & can’t do any more what done is done , all I can do now is move on look forward ,you may be on a different journey & still be grieving for your dad & now your mum was , its true when they say you just learn to live with it , but it take time to get to that stage .

It must be hard on you as I read on your profile that you have 4 children like me , it seem like I was going mad which was stress ,being pulled at so many different direction as my children all each need me one to one to each of them , then mum on top of it all . like seeing to every one needs ,but my own where did I fit in to all of this ,how the hell did I find time for me , I did ant ,& when I did I felt more stressful because I still had to get up early ever morning, so I use to play relaxation music in the house ,when no one was around or when mum was around ,that seem to cram mum down & my mind stop thinking . now 4 years on & am still sane so must of done something right :)

Carol rambling on ,because I do now that I have found TP
 

moviefan318

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
32
64
northamptonshire
margarita
good to know someone has been where I have been, at times it has been almost impossible when I had promised to go places with my daughter who is 11yrs and had to cancel because my husband was at work and mum had had yet another fall and the only place my daughter got to was a long wait at the hospital.
The really good news about mum is she likes where she is and they have already taken her for a walk round the gardens ,they want to know her life history what her favorite foods are her hobbies, I was so overwhelmed at there interest in her and talk of getting mums medication changed as something she is on is what is making mum restless and not sleep.I was also told if mum was ever unwell i can stay the night with her,but the best was mum liked it that was wonderful
carol
 

Lynne

Registered User
Jun 3, 2005
3,433
Suffolk,England
Carol

Your Mum's Care Home sounds great, for everybody! Mum herself is happy, and all the signals you have got from them sound excellent too, so you must be very relieved.

Best wishes
 

Margarita

Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
10,824
london
Oh now that is good new, that how I felt when mum went in to emergency respite it’s just so great when you finally get the support I felt ,at last your talking to people who really do understand where your coming from , your not alone anymore .

Just had a phone call from Mum day centre saying mum be home in 2 mins , Daughter pick up phone & told me , them added Jokeing God help us lol
 

moviefan318

Registered User
Apr 30, 2006
32
64
northamptonshire
hi Iynne and Margarita
thanks for your messages,yes I am on a high at the moment and that is just how I feel that at last somebody cares and mum is not just a medical condition
carol