1. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    Following Anne Robinson's recent comments to a contestant on her show, I discovered yesterday that a letter I had fired off was published in the Mail on Tuesday. For anybody who happened to read it though, the full content is below. They obviously had to edit it as there are not enough trees in the world to accommodate my witterings.


    'I say hands off Anne Robinson! Anne is a patron of the Alzheimers Society and has written very movingly about her own mother's suffering of the disease and her experiences of the care system. I should add that my Grandfather was born and bred in Caernarfon and I was born and bred in Liverpool. Anne's cynical comments make me laugh like a drain.

    Perhaps Ann speaks from bitter experience. Believe me, if you weren't at the beginning, by the time you have looked after a dementia sufferer and experienced the minefield that is the carer system you will by the end be very cynical and bitter.

    My mother was a patient in a secure hospital ward for the elderly suffering from dementia-related illnesses wherein she had all her jewellery stolen - grandmother's wedding ring, engagement ring, gold watch - as did many other patients I discovered following conversations with their relatives. One 80 year old, completely incapacitated by his illness had a gold chain removed from around his neck, a gift placed there by his grandmother when he was 11 years of age! The official explanation was that these things were flushed down the toilet (my mother was incontinent and changed by staff) or lost in the laundry (we had to do Mum's laundry). Any protestation was met with hostility, not compassion.

    Most professional carers of the elderly are the very finest, overworked and underpaid at a level almost obscene in a civilized society, and we as carers of dementia sufferers couldn't do without them. However, in my opinion, their silence in the face of such blatant abuse makes them complicit in the act of theft.'
    End


    So saying, if I had been that particular contestant I think I would have sued!

    Regards
    Chesca
     
  2. connie

    connie Registered User

    Mar 7, 2004
    9,519
    Frinton-on-Sea
    Dear Chesca, read your letter in the D>Mail, did not realise it was you - I agree with your comments though. Anne was in the wrong for making the remark in public, but caring for anyone with dementia does make you very cynical, which is a shame for all the truly good carers out there. Connie
     
  3. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    I missed the show - what did Anne say?
     
  4. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    Bruce
    In short, one of the contestants was a carer for the elderly and Anne asked did the jewellery she was wearing come courtesy of a patient, or some such dreadful inference. In much the same way she asked a teacher from Liverpool what he taught? Shoplifting? to much local outrage. Ha! If you don't like the heat stay out of the hell's kitchen that is the weakest link.

    In my case, somebody is wearing Mum's or it's been weighed in for a bag of crack or whatever is the latest fix.

    Best wishes
    Chesca
     
  5. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Ches, you little midnight demon you, but I do see where your coming from. I could tell many a tale from when Mum was hospitalised, but having said I wanted improvements for the future not revenge for the past when I complained, better not! Things have improved locally and I know several meetings were instigated by Mum and me. I think you did a grand job with your letter, love She. XX
     
  6. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    Min, I want revenge for the past. Those people know who they are and they know that I know, including the woman (agency carer) who I caught with her hand in my mother's handbag, albeit a bag in name only filled with coppers in a purse and bits of things she could pull out and fumble with in her confusion anything else being removed by us. She needed to have her bag, kept asking for it. It was her right!

    My sister wanted the police called in, still does, but our priority at the time was to get Mrs Pumblechook out of there, anywhere had to be better, too many unexplained and disturbing happenings. But in the revenge for the past there came an improvement for the future, hopefully still in place: by the time she had left, there there were no staff (all of them backs to the room) sitting around the television to watch the latest cavortings of Les Battersby and Cilla whilst all around them their charges were unsupervised and damaged as a result. This was a hospital, god damn them, not a nursing home a different experience altogether, wherein I have to say diligence has improved. Nowt's perfect. We expected, niaively as it turned out, so very much better from a hospital, don't forget why we agreed to her voluntary admission - all was done with kindness and the actuality was horrendous, horrendous! This was the very reason I first hit TP, the grief of it all. My initial post is still there somewhere - I occasionally visit it to remind me how far I have come, thanks to everybody here and the people at home who have loved me through this.

    One of the reasons I needed to qualify it was that I know you have done your bit on the circuit and you are one of the undoubtedly unsung carers for whom I will sing very loudly.

    It isn't really revenge. Revenge would have been naming the hospital and the staff involved - doubt the paper would have allowed publication. But as I said I know who they are and one day they will be shamed. Life has a way of dealing the cards don't you think?

    Love
    Chesca
     
  7. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Yes, that's why I never named and shamed, but I know they know, and they know I know they know, and that they know I know what I know, and that I will use what I know if I ever have cause to in the future if they back track. (If you know what I mean) Oh dear, bad day! Love She. XX
     
  8. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    Indeed, I do know what you know about knowing. And in the knowing, I know that you know you know about you-know-who who will be in no doubt about you knowing the know. Do you know what I am talking about? If you know please let me know soonest.
    Love, Chesca,xxxx
     
  9. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Yes, you know all right! Love She. XX
     
  10. Chesca

    Chesca Guest

    Yes, I know. But what is it that I know? I know I can't find the chocolate. Do you know where he's put it? It's not in the tool box, as anticipated. And if you don't know this, you don't know nuthin' worth knowin' at this particular mo'. Chescaxxx
     
  11. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    Sorry you can't find the choccies, better try again tomorrow, night night, love She. XX
     
  12. emscub

    emscub Registered User

    Dec 5, 2003
    124
    Bath
    Your letter

    Hi Chesca,

    I haven't posted for a long while now as I've been so busy with my Uni work, although I still try to keep up to date with what's happening on the message board. I too read your letter the other day without realising that it was you. Well done you!! I am working as a carer at the moment and although I would never dream of doing such a thing, we all know it happens and that those with dementia are at particular risk.

    I'm not sure whether this comment will be moved but I am currently carrying out my dissertation with carers of people with dementia. Please feel free to private message me if you are interested in contributing. My e-mail also is emscub@hotmail.com

    Hope everyone is doing as well as is possible under the circumstances and that Christmas wasn't too stressful. We are still struggling on here, although Christmas Day was quite worrying as my Nan became very confused with the change of pace and faces. I haven't seen her like that at home before (was similar to her previous behaviour whilst in hospital that I posted a lot about a few months ago)

    Emma
     

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