YES! taking away the telephone has improved her agitation!
Well!
all I can truly say now is I'm shocked if not flabbagasted at the amount of venom flying around this thread. Its a great shame.
My last post listed all the things that I did not recall saying as well as a whole bunch of stuff that some of you have presumed, so perhaps for the time being, I should just consider adding to the list as I really don't recall saying that "I didn't like my patient" It seems to me that a lot of you are in need of a punch bag so I'm IT!
Actually and contrary to just about everything so far, I like my patient very very much otherwise I would not have searched the internet, seeking advice with my own preceious time, I would not be here continuing this conversation which is becoming nothing more than a waste of time and I certainly wouldn't be looking after her 24/7 with little time to myself, constant sleepless nights and daily abuse.
I have known my patient for a long time, having originally been employed to act as her PA/Assistant long before she developed A/D. In those days my duties included organising and catering her bridge parties, making appointments for and driving her to hairdressers, beauty salons and luncheons. I was employed to oversee the general running of her household and daily staff and to diarise and cater lunch, dinner and drinks parties as well as to oversee all household maintenance and repairs and to do all the daily, weekly and monthly shopping.
Though her associates and family often told me that she wasn't a particularly nice person, I was always sceptical, feeling that although they may have personal reasons for their feelings, that perhaps they were all exagerating somewhat. Yet, as the first few months with her came and went I realized that perhaps some of the tales and hostilities may have been warranted as she was quite a difficult woman. Nevertheless, I quietly got on with job and kept all personal opinions firmly to myself. My performed tasks, work ethics and attitude were always above reproach and after a few months at the job, we became quite fond of each other.
A couple of years down the line, I noticed that she was becoming quite forgetful and disorientated. Her handwriting became scrawly, her personal diary was in a mess and she suddenly became quite scared of the dark. It was me that called the Doctor and explained her symptoms, it was me that took her to the Neurologist and held her hand while she had a cat scan and it was me that hugged her tightly when the Doctor confirmed my fears. It was also me that begged her GP to consider contacting a specialist for us to consult with
At this point I should have left her employ, but after a meeting with her family ended up with old feuds rising up out of the ashes, I realized that she wasn't really going to get the love and care that she would obviously need in the future. So I stayed, kept the original dynamics of my job but took on the extra burden of "caring for an A/D patient"
It's now been four years since diagnosis and she is all but bed-ridden. I am with her almost 24/7-365 days of the year. I've had little time off as I can't bear the thought of putting her into respite care and her children don't want the burden (even for a few days)
Her family call her perhaps twice a month and visit her perhaps once every three months, despite my pleading with them that " they should forgive and forget"
One of her children now manages all her funds and I am given a monthly budget to continue running the household. I have never asked for or been offered extra pay to compensate the fact that I am now also "carer and nurse". I'm doing it because I CARE DEEPLY!!!!
The reason I went into detail regarding my patient's general personality was to try to get to the bottom of the "telephone" issue. Contrary to seemingly popular belief, I think specific personality disorders do have a bearing on the care and treatment of an A/D sufferer.
For those that made such cruel statements as "I wouldn't want my mother within a hundred miles of someone like you" Thats a pity, because your mother would be receiving the very best care full of love, humility, empathy and understanding and I feel sorry for anyone with A/D that would not receive that standard of care.
I cook for my patient, I read to her, listen to her mostly incoherent ramblings, I tell her jokes, sing to her, dance with her, cry with her, cry FOR her, I wrap her up, bundle her into the car and take her for drives when I can. I do her hair, clip her nails, varnish her toenails. I lie next to her when she's feeling frightened and get up with her in the middle of the night. I constantly reafirm her beauty and tell her she has the best house in the world and I always forgive her when she screams at me.
Thanks to those that have made me feel like a complete and utter s**t. Was that why I came here??????
As to the answers? She is 88 and Indonesian. She was not born or bred in South Africa, England or Holland and she has only lived here for ten years.