Lets Talk About Telephones!

[citybythesea]

Ditto, once again I say I am sorry for what has gone here. I think that as an AD carer fine lines seem to be blurred. Not trying to step on any toes here....I think that in a society where proper ettiquette has the family caring for the patient, it is almost incomprehensible to understand that someone else may be doing it for another instead of that persons family. I hope I said that right.

I think we as careres should also realize that treatments vary in each country. I would hope that people would try to consider that. Just as there is a thread right now talking of a new medication in the US...there is a difference in way AD patients are treated. I understand where your doctor may be coming from.
I would be willing to bet that even tho she has great confidence in you her subconscience wants more people to acknowledge her. Probably her family, maybe friends she long remembers but are long gone. When an item becomes a nuisance it has to be handled. As an a US citizen I would assume that she has always had the capability to pick up a phone and get instant gratification. (We're that way here.) But by doing so she is causing problems elsewhere. I am most positive the dr. would not have recommended the phone being taken away had she not had a carer. He probably would have gone about it in a different way.

Ditto I commend you with staying with her, in these days and times it is so easy to leave an employer for being a jerk. Her family should be ashamed of themselves for ignoring her in these days, but them that is just the times. I, myself, am scared at the thought that I may have raised kids that will not care but to drop me off in someone elses custody. But then time will only tell.

Nancy

 

[rose_of_york]

Shame on those who were so quick to condemn. And even more shame on those who claimed they knew somebody's circumstances because they assumed she fitted the stereotype of the place she happens to live in.

I am beginning to think that I shall leave this site altogether as there is very little support or sympathy if you are not devoted enough to the person you are responsible for. If you resent having to look after somebody with dementia and do not want to cope with bad behaviour this is the kind o reaction you get.

 

[Brucie]

As is clear from many threads, members of Talking Point come from many different backgrounds, with different perceptions, ages, expectations, capabilities, understandings, experiences, relationships, etc.

As was shown in the case with the recent "One Life" programme.

Some people thought it dreadful, others thought it the best programme of its type yet seen by them.

This thread is the same.

Nobody is 'wrong' here. Everyone simply applies their own standards and expectations to everything they read or post.

For my own part, I take with a huge pinch of salt anything that anyone says about someone who has dementia, whether good or bad. Without seeing the person over a period, it is impossible to appreciate their situation.

In this thread, Ditto said

She has led a charmed life of rich husbands x 2, endless holidays and parties and has never so much as washed a dish. She is rude, selfish, mean spirited, unkind, cruel, bullish, bossy, greedy and cares only about herself

This is all judgemental and subjective, and while it may have some truth - or not, if others therefore feel this permits them to reply in like fashion, then I guess it is to be expected.

Not necessarily welcomed, but likely to happen.

Everyone just try please not to get too exercised about things of which none of us has any sort of complete knowledge.