Having booked my mother (90, vascular dementia but no major problems with behaviour - normally)into a care home and following an assessment by them, we went there yesterday morning (after a not good weekend) but she was OK. Left her eating lunch and said goodbye having put away her clothes in a lovely, welcoming room. Just about managed to relax in the evening but still up before dawn. Phone call at 9am - they couldn't cope with my mother. As well as threatening staff with her walking stick (and having pinned one of them against a wall) and needing 121 care (including at night), she was also wandering into other residents' rooms and trying to get out. Very sorry but they didn't think she was safe. But the manager told me they were part of larger group and there was a secure dementia home very close and if we were happy she'd contact them. She did so, room available (it was one I had considered and has good CQC rating and good family feedback). We went to collect her after lunch (found her in duchess mode) and the staff couldn't have been nicer or more caring and understanding. We took her to the other home and were bowled over by the welcome, the caring attitude, the general bustle, how well all the residents looked, the immediate jump into action - and huge apologies that as the lift was out of order today she'd have to go into a room without an en-suite for tonight but they would move her into a nicer room tomorrow (which we saw, and yes, it is lovely). We had a good pep talk from the deputy manager who couldn't have been more caring or nicer or understanding. I was nearly crawling up the wall myself at the thought of her coming home when we'd been looking forward to 2 weeks of freedome for a month or so but her attitude and that of the other staff we met made me feel so much better and relieved that my mother would be in good hands. So hats off to both care homes - the first for their clarity and caring attitude and for arranging an alternative home; the second for instantly jumping to action and being just so caring, reassuring and kind.