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Let's Get Familiar!


Registered User
Jun 10, 2017
I keep hearing... everyone is different and every case is different... and I become adhered to that rhetoric!

Now I think we have it it the wrong way around... maybe!?

We are all different... the millions of variables that got us here in the first place and then the billions and billions of different cells that form us. The brain alone is billions of neurones connecting via trillions of synapse, meaning that we all think and look different.. This is the basic things that makes us, us but... I think there are more we have in common between us than the differences. I would like to think so!

As for dementia....well I went through many tests, scans and medical procedures, over a long time, while the doctors' ticked their little boxes... and finally, when enough of the little boxes were ticked... the diagnoses. This procedure is the same for us all.... it is familiar I'm sure, whether you are the patient, or carer!?

There does have to be an establish criteria, a check list!

The only problem I see in this is that everyone is then treated the same, or I should say, the care is thought of as being the same. I mean without regard for the individual.. Family members will know their loved ones, but they will reading all the information, all the leaflets at the hospital and all the advice professionals give out and maybe trying things that seems to be the right thing to do, as the leaflet says, but is it ritght for the individual?

Some of the things I get offered, suggested, or pushed into, believing that they are good for me and it is because it is a familiar thing that all dementia patients do... scare the hell out of me! Simply put... these things are just not me... I wouldn't have done them before I was diagnosed, so why do you they assume that it is what I need now!?

It has to be easier if the same thing can be done for everyone... saves money and time, so a one fix for all has got to be the right way to go! I say NO! I get things bought and brought to me in the believe that as they are... designed to meet the needs of dementia patients, will be just what I need... there are lots of things sold... and are very expensive... can't mention what.....:oops: I'm sure you will have come across them, or know the sort of thing I talking about....

It also seems to me that many of these things are designed to pacify rather than stimulate... soupifying the brain!

I think there are lots of familiar things that are common to any of us that suffer some form of dementia, but what I think is not so familiar is the needs and lifestyle of the person prior to their dementia, being taken in consideration with the care given after.

I think most of us like our own space.... where we can be ourselves without trying to pretend to be ok, or different. Some of us like company, while others do not. What I like, music, telly, books reading, or not, maybe completely different to anyone else. I like to eat this and go to bed in my time and the list goes on... I'm sure you can think of many things!?

I write every day... it started many years ago when I started having memory related problems, but was still teaching. I found I had to write things down to retain them and then I could think about them, edit and re-edit my thoughts. This is what I still do today and it is apart of me. It is my way of talking to to myself, something we all do, but I write it down. I make notes of things that pop up in my head for no particular reason and then later this will become part of my daily writing/thinking thing! It is how I came up with the post to you.

Now, I'm sure is not normal for most people and this is just one thing... I do.... I find getting on with people harder now.. strangers send me into a bit of a panic... don't know why, they just do... Going out...strange place another problem! My eating habits have changed dramatically and my personal care, is for me to know!

We do have familiarities with our dementia, but we are all individuals and this should be carefully considered when offering care....Get Familiar!.... wherever that care comes from! :)


Registered User
Dec 6, 2016
Porthcawl, South Wales
I so agree with you. There are without doubt health matters that are approached with a one size fits all approach. I do not know what the answer is, it all comes down to financial power, tick box exercises, to show something is being done. Wherever possible hold on to your individuality, and this applies to all aspects of life. Although i try not to lose sight of those in other areas of this world who sadly do not have access to what should be a basic right ,it is frustrating and a cliche but we are lucky to get what is offered. I say this as a carer respecting my husband's individuality.
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