Up until 5 weeks ago mum was living at home with dad and going into day care for 4 days. I think dad was not really coping with her but did not want to accept that she needed to go into a home. She has had dementia for about 7 years. She had, I guess mid to late stage dementia and was beginning to become incontinent, again he was not accepting this. Then he was diagnosed with bladder cancer and all of a sudden got a urine infection leading to being rushed into hospital. We got mum into emergency respite for the weekend and then on the Monday she moved to a care home for respite of 5 weeks. From there things have gone down hill ending up with her in hospital with cellulitis and urine infection, MRSA etc etc!! She has just gone down hill with regards to her dementia, during this time dad was unable to visit her and she kept asking for him, her bed was lowered to the floor with a crash mat at the side because she kept trying to get out of bed, all in all the hospital did not cope very well with her. She is now back to the care home and they are seeing if they can meet her needs. What is the most distressing and the reason I am writing this is, she keeps shouting out and calling for dad or myself, the care home have said it is probably best for dad not to go and see her at the moment to let her settle. But am I doing the right thing, should she see dad even though it is also distressing for him too! They have been together 67 years and have never really been apart. I just don't know what to do, please has anyone got some advice for me!!!