Length Of Time For Illness

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Memori, Jun 26, 2007.

  1. Memori

    Memori Registered User

    Sep 22, 2006
    This may seem a silly question, but I am new to all this and have not read much about the length of this illness, Mum seems to be going downhill quite quickly and yet from the messages on here it seems that some people are ill for many years, is this an unknown depending on the type of problem and do you think that facing the problem brings on the symptoms quicker, I do worry that I might be making her more ill by trying to help when she would rather be left alone even though I worry that she may not be safe alone, I expect that as this has been put in motion now there is no going back anyway, but its hard knowing what is the right thing to do, she is having the door sensor fitted soon and the ss are coming to ascess her needs, its her birthday soon and I wish it could be happy for her
  2. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Hi Memori

    I don't think it's possible to specify a time.

    Some people seem to go from diagnosis to final stage in a matter of months, while with others it can last 20+ years.

    I'm afraid we all just have to play it by ear. It's hard, I know, and maybe harder for you younger ones who have family and jobs to consider, and plans to make or adapt.

    For us 'oldies', well, we just have to take each day as it comes.

  3. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    Hiya Memori,
    For some people there journey is a matter of months, for others years. I know that initially we were told that AD hd about a 10 year cycle, start to finish - though mums dementia is vascular related.

    You are not making her more ill - all you can help her do is to live with this illness. You can enjoy her birthday - you just have to be prepared for it not to be the same as birthdays from the past. Let us know how it goes.
    Love Helen
  4. Margaret W

    Margaret W Registered User

    Apr 28, 2007
    North Derbyshire
    Hi Memori

    I have just gone through the same as you in the last three weeks, a rapid deterioration with my mum, and I am finding that every case is absolutely individual, there is no prescribed rate, you just have to cope with what you find at the time.

    Good luck, kid, come back if you are stuck with anything. I think we are all here to help each other. Thank God for the internet.


  5. jc141265

    jc141265 Registered User

    Sep 16, 2005
    Like Amy, we were expecting no more than 10yrs...its now 10yrs and no end in sight.

    Dad has early onset dementia - and i believe this is usually more agressive than the later onset dementias but as younger people are more hardy they often live with the disease longer.

    On rapid declines, I was sure 3yrs ago that Dad was just about to die...he went downhill sooo quickly...but that was 3yrs ago...and since then any decline is hardly noticeable...although I do think its there...its justa lot slower now...

    So sorry can't give you any specific times...that part of the nastiness of this disease...is never knowing...how long am I going to be putting my life on hold...can I possibly keep putting my life on hold...but if I don't put my life on hold and he dies tomorrow I am going to wish I did more, sooner....

    Crazy ****** disease, it wears me out more than it wears Dad out I swear!
  6. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    My husband was diagnosed 2 years ago, but we have realized the first really significant personality change was in 1999, eight years ago.

    In 1998, we had a relative from abroad to stay. We had a wonderful time with her, trips out, meals out, sightseeing, lovely.

    It was so successful we invited her to stay the following year, in 1999.

    What a difference. Something snapped and I had the most mortifying week of my life. He was rude to her, insulted her, ignored her, wouldn`t sit at the table with her and walked round the house scowling. I was unable to handle it, I was embarrassed, confused, and humiliated.

    This was so out of character, from someone who was known for his hospitality, was always so respectful to everyone. Why didn`t I realize something was terribly wrong?

    There must have been smaller clues before this, but they were not recognized.

    Things went down hill from then and Dhiren became increasingly difficult to live with. I thought it was because our marriage was coming to and end.

    It was only when we relocated, the true story emerged.

    Now his short term memory is non-existent, his behaviour is challenging, but he still fights for his rights and seems to have a long way to go.
  7. sue k

    sue k Registered User

    Jun 26, 2007
    warrington cheshire
    My Dad was diagnosed 9 months ago and during that tim weve seen a rapid deterioration, hes only 68 and in 9 months hes gone from being very muddled and confused and a little agitated at time to , becoming incontinent, barely able to feed himself , he rarely walks and if he does has frequent falls. We cant have a converstion with hin mow , he just repeats what ever we say to him, its so very very sad to see my dad like this, at times i feel like my heart id breaking in two

    life with alzheimers is so cruel for everyone involved

  8. Lila13

    Lila13 Registered User

    Feb 24, 2006
    The doctor who saw my mother in Jan 2006 said there was nothing wrong with her, and less than 4 months later she was dead, (and they gave "dementia" as the cause of death).

    On the other hand I've known people who lived with dementia for about 25 years.
  9. sue k

    sue k Registered User

    Jun 26, 2007
    warrington cheshire
    sorry for the terrible typing , i couldnt see the keyboard for tears !!!!!!
  10. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Dear Sue,

    Don`t apologize for anything, particularly typing. Just keep posting. We are all here to support you in any way we can. It won`t make your dear dad better, but it might help you, just a little.

    Take care

    Love xx
  11. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    Birmingham Hades
    My darling Peg was diagnosed 13 years ago.
    2 weeks age she went downhill very very quickly and is now in a NH.
    She is very ill.
    This ai after 13 years ta king Aricept.
    I will post soon,but this is the reason I am not around much these days
  12. carol

    carol Registered User

    Jun 24, 2004
    Dearest Norman,

    So sorry to read about Peg, I don't post often but visit the site several times a day. I have always likened you and Peg, to our situation with my Father in law and Mother in law. I always look out for your posts, and have been worried by their absence recently.

    Thinking of you and Peg, send you both much love and best wishes.

  13. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    Dear Norman,
    Can only say how sorry I am about Peg. I wish there was something I could do but I can only send you {{{HUGS}}} and say I'm thinking of you both.
  14. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Dear Norman

    I'm so sorry to hear about Peg. You must be devastated.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you both.

  15. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    #15 Margarita, Jun 27, 2007
    Last edited: Jun 27, 2007
    My mother was in the late stages of AZ when she was diagnosis . double incontinent.

    Then Given Exbixa 5 years on still going from strength to strength , I gave up wonder how long it was all going to last .

    with medication , without medication , as I just wanted to make plans for the future .

    Then I read a lot of TP , love one getting worse all out of the blue , so I just sing that song in my mind . What ever will be , Will be , the future Not are to see QUE SERA SERA What ever will be , Will be
  16. Splat88

    Splat88 Registered User

    Jul 13, 2005
    Mary was diagnosed 6 years ago, but thinking back she's been suffering for longer than that. She's been on Aricept for 6 years, and though she's 85, it really is only her memory, reasoning and her personal hygiene that are affected. She's remarkably spry for her age, though fragile mentally.
  17. Kathleen

    Kathleen Registered User

    Mar 12, 2005
    West Sussex
    Dear Norman

    So sorry to hear about your beloved Peg, it must be a tough time for you.

    Thinking of you both.

  18. janjan

    janjan Registered User

    Jan 27, 2006

    So sorry to hear about your news about Peg, i haven't been on line either, haven't been to see my dad for weeks, can't cope at the mo , I'm off work ill. Had a lot happen in my own family this last 6 months.
    Look after yourself too, I'm sure Peg would want you to. Easier said than done i know, Best wishes. Janet.
  19. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Hi Jan

    I wondered where you'd gone. I'm sorry you've been having a hard time. Can we do anything to help?

  20. janjan

    janjan Registered User

    Jan 27, 2006
    Inherited dads thyroid trouble, just took me longer to realize, lol, thought the weight gain was due to packing in smoking, thanks for your thoughts though.
    I'll get there eventually, bit of along haul at the moment, do miss my dad though, when i feel a bit more with it he's first on my list for a visit. :D

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