Left to our own devices...

[Alibear]

Hi everyone, My Mum (75 this Saturday) was diagnosed with mixed dementia about 2 years ago after we realised things were not good with her (she lives alone and is good at hiding things from us - litterally!) So we made an appt and she went to the memory clinic. Thankfully we realised from chatting to friends that POA was essential to have in place straight away so did that before anything. I am Mums main carer (i have a sister locally) and get carers allowance, i moved house to be nearer to her so i can pop round easily especially as challenges are now increasing.
I have found this forum a great source of info and support but wonder if there are other things we should have in place or people we should speak to or inform about Mums situation - i have spoken to her GP about recent issues and the local bus drivers and police know her from various wanderings - ultimately she will be self funding so i'm not sure if assessments are necessary or if that will be useful for safeguarding issues?!
Any tips will be much appreciated

 

[Champers]

Hi Alibear!

You sound pretty well organised - the POA is a must. Have you got both Health/Welfare and Finance? They both made dealing with everything so much easier with regard to my mother.

My understanding and experience is; if your mother is self funding, you have more choices about care and CHs. However, you say your mother is already wandering? If so, you might want to consider residential care sooner rather than later. She will be vulnerable and although the police and bus drivers are aware, there are also unscrupulous individuals who might not be so kind if she let them in or came across them late at night, if she loses concept of time for her ‘walks’

I’m only drawing my own experiences in my response but I’m sure others on here will have some great tips too.

 

[Alibear]

Hi, yes we do have both financial and health POAs. We have recently got a small tracker so we can check on her during the evening for wandering but so far shes been fine - its just during the day particularly with getting on and off of local buses and going too far (we've taken her bus pass away so she has to at least speak to the driver and say where shes going so they will know if shes going the wrong way!) We have also taken control of her money now since she lost her bank card and we just keep her topped up with a bit of cash which she has accepted with little drama.
I spoke to her about us moving in with her but she was horrified as of course she believes there is nothing wrong with her - also we did a short visit to a CH recently but that was recieved even worse!

 

[Pete1]

Hi @Alibear, I tried to inform the Police of Mum's wandering under their own safeguarding protocol for vulnerable persons, but they had no knowledge of it or how to record it on the system! They suggested I put my contact details on her walking frame which I did. The wandering is a concern, have you got technology installed on the property to forewarn you of her going out (door sensors, cameras) and perhaps a tracking device in her bag.

If you are self funding you do not require a Social Services Assessment of need, although they can do one if it helps you understand Mum's needs (I found them to be of little help as I was self funding). Have you applied for Attendance Allowance for Mum?

Looking forward it might well be worth looking into residential care, a lot of places have waiting lists so it could do no harm to start doing some research and perhaps some visits. I didn't do this and when it happened it was pretty much an emergency situation which was extremely stressful.

All the best. Keep posting

 

[Alibear]

Yes @Pete1 we have Attendance allowance and i get carers allowance. We are considering a camera or something outside the bungalow to alert us to coming & goings alongside the tracker in her bag.

 

[Pete1]

i'll look into the council tax - we haven't done that! Thanks

I didn't know about it as it's not widely publicised. The Local Authority refunded back to the date of diagnosis following a confirmation from the GP (which they sought) - it was a refund of 18 months payments from memory. Worth doing!