Leave me alone

Discussion in 'I have dementia' started by Jorbin, May 19, 2018.

  1. Jorbin

    Jorbin Registered User

    Jan 30, 2018
    102
    hi

    Does anyone else feel that sometimes you just want to have space and be left alone?
     
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,075
    Merseyside
    I frequently felt like that when I was caring for my Dad.
     
  3. Jorbin

    Jorbin Registered User

    Jan 30, 2018
    102
    But does the PWD feel that?
     
  4. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,075
    Merseyside
    My Dad did. Sometimes the world just got too much for him & he needed to be alone to cope.
     
  5. Amethyst59

    Amethyst59 Registered User

    Jul 3, 2017
    5,738
    Female
    Kent
    So many of us cannot imagine what having dementia can feel like, but I think I would need time alone just to think about everything. In my husband’s case, (he has vascular dementia) I am aware that because I try to keep him safe, he must feel like he can never be alone. Last week, he went to a shop by himself for the first time in weeks. He wanted to go, it is very near my house, and he enjoyed the feeling of just being like anyone else.
     
  6. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,902
    Female
    South coast
    My OH often needs peace and quiet as he cant cope with too much noise and bustle.
    The conservatory has become his "quiet space" and he will often go and sit in it with his tablet and/or binoculars and a bird book.
    Is there somewhere that you can make your quiet space? A spare bedroom or even your own bedroom?
     
  7. Jessbow

    Jessbow Registered User

    I think there are times when we all wish to be alone.
    It maybe difficult to have solitude when you have dementia, especially if those that care for you deem that your choice of 'space to be alone' is not safe.

    I enjoy wandering with the dog on my own, but I am safe doing so ( roads and orientation skills still intact) a PWD may think thats a good choice for them, which it might be, but might not if they are liable to get lost.

    Being 'left alone' on a day to day basis is sometimes difficult for those that love you and want to keep you safe from harm. How long a PWD can be left alone is so variable and depends so much on the persons capabilities.
     
  8. Jorbin

    Jorbin Registered User

    Jan 30, 2018
    102
    Yes that’s how feel, thanks.
     
  9. Agzy

    Agzy Registered User

    Nov 16, 2016
    835
    Moreton, Wirral. UK.
    My OH has Alzheimer's and she often suggests I go out for an our or two to 'giver space'
     
  10. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    In the days when mum was my shadow and would not stop talking to me, I would plan how to get out of house with a mug of coffee or mulled wine, depending on time of year and into shed where a deck chair waited for me, positioned at the window so I could see door to house, but mum could not see me. 10 minutes of bliss!
     
  11. Alicenutter

    Alicenutter Registered User

    Aug 29, 2015
    560
    Massachusetts USA
    My husband, who is in a nursing home, sometimes just checks out by closing his eyes. He looks asleep but isn’t. This seems to work for him. It was something he always did when overwhelmed by too much interaction.
     
  12. Jorbin

    Jorbin Registered User

    Jan 30, 2018
    102
    Good idea.thanks.
     
  13. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,829
    UK
    The one thing that did work for me, still does, is taking a nap on the sofa, as soon as mum sees the rug go on my legs and I close my eyes, she leaves me alone and I could sleep for a short time. At the time when we had sleepless nights, I could not get through the day without this little afternoon sleep.
     
  14. bluejcas

    bluejcas New member

    May 21, 2018
    2
    Yes I do, I feel as though everything is crowding in on me
     
  15. Jorbin

    Jorbin Registered User

    Jan 30, 2018
    102
    Sorry to hear that , it make me feel lonely and I need to be left alone or to go on holiday away from it all on my own.
     
  16. Shedrech

    Shedrech Volunteer Moderator

    Dec 15, 2012
    7,747
    Yorkshire
    hello @bluejcas
    a warm welcome to TP
    I hope you'll find this community of folk supportive and helpful
    now you've joined us, pop in and post with anything that's on your mind, anytime
    best wishes
     

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