I'm so pleased I came across this forum as many of the messages I've read have already helped as I begin the long journey of helping my Mum through this horrible illness I already feel very guilty because many of you out there have so much more to deal with than myself but let me tell you a little of my own situation My Mum has recently ( a month ago) been diagnosed with AD and cardiovascular dementia. She's 72 and I am in my early 30's. Her symtoms suggest she's in the beginning of the middle stages of AD. Although she's only been diagnosed recently there have been many symptoms for about 5 years, it's just that we've all been in denial and then in my own case, avoidance was my coping strategy. I'm finding it very difficult to cope with the lack of hope and inability to help the way in which I want to. My Mum and Dad live 3 hours drive from myself, I'm a single parent with an 8 year old child and a full time job. My Dad is being remarkable in what he's having to do and take over from Mum but never being a patient man, he's bad tempered, shouts a lot and his own health is being affected. We haven't had a good relationship for years, (non-communicative, different personalities etc). Mum was the link between myself and my brother and my Dad and now that link has gone it needs to be replaced and this is proving difficult to say the least. The overhwelming sadness and then anger at both what is happening to my gentle sweet Mum and the toll it is taking on my Dad and the fact that I can't just "up sticks" from my own life to be of more practical help for both of them is meaning that I spend a lot of time crying and being angry. Then I feel selfish and pathetic and wonder why it feels so raw and why I'm not able to juggle all the balls, other people have so much more to deal with. Lots of you who have contacted the forum appear amazing in the way that you have coped through many traumatic situations and constant giving. I know what will happen in the course of this illness and I want to appreciate what I still have left of Mum and what she needs from me now. I was just wondering if anyone had any tricks or words of wisdom for coping with this initial loss as I have got to get a grip and find a way through this so i can help both my Mum and my Dad. |Thanks K.