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learning how to care for my mother.

Bevpet

Registered User
Sep 14, 2013
9
0
Perth Western Australia
I have only posted once since joining this group. The stress of caring for my mother is really affecting me. Since I joined mother has been in hospital again.

Last Saturday Mother's carer said to me I had done all I could do, and now we have to let things go so that she hits a crisis, then they can put her in a nursing home. As she does not want to go anywhere.

Leaving my mother feels so bad, all I do is read others stories of caring for a dementia relative online.

I am posting here because I know I will be understood, and I need to share my feelings. I have had to fight feelings of suicide. I now understand what ideation means.

Mother just phoned me and I heard another voice call out, "is there anyone there?" it was my mother, and the voice was not slurred and slow how she speaks now.

It really freaked me out and I felt myself losing the plot, as I thought maybe she is evil.

I had to quickly change my thinking.
I find it hard to share what I feel through typing when I am a verbal person.

But it helps to share. I don't think I have ever done anything as hard as this. I so appreciate all of your sharing, it certainly helps me keep my sanity.

Last week my mother said maybe I have dementia. Thanks for listening to me, Beverley Perth Western Australia.
 

Polly1945

Registered User
Oct 24, 2012
261
0
Hereford
Hello Bev,

Just wanted to say welcome to this forum. I hope you will stay around and keep posting.

This is such a dreadful disease and it's usually the carer who gets the worse part of it, as quite often the sufferer is completely unaware of the havoc being caused.

When you said "I don't think I have ever done anything as hard as this", you really hit the nail on the head, we have no idea how difficult it can be until we personally have to get involved. Perhaps it is time for you Mum to have professional care, it doesn't mean that you have given up on her, in fact you will be able to spend more (relaxed) time with her if some-one else is doing the caring 24/7.

Keep your chin up! We all understand the roller coaster of emotions involved with this disease.

Love and a big hug

from PAULINE
 

chris53

Registered User
Nov 9, 2009
2,929
0
London
Hello Bev, and a warm welcome to Talking Point from across the pond:eek: yes very much so,it is us as carers and people who care that can and do have have a very rough time of dealing with dementia, if your mum was experiencing how you feel, she would more then likely feel the same as you are feeling now, dementia seems to be a very unpredictable illness whereas day by day and even hour by hour things change, we feel helpless, angry,guilty and sometimes "why me" but there are good days or even a good hour or so which really make us feel, "is this person really ill, please don't feel bad when extra help is needed, although easy to say, as both my mum and mum in law have both joined the dementia club, are both still able to live (with lots of help) independently, but there comes a time when this cannot continue, and will not continue, for them and for us, thank you for sharing your thoughts, and please DO keep posting here, support and understanding is always here, keep us updated and do take care of yourself- best wishes-Chris x
 

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