Apologies if I haven’t put this in the right place, but I’d forgotten how to open a new thread! My issue is that my aunt with AD was finally admitted to hospital yesterday. The problem was severe oedema, resulting in badly weeping legs caused by a massive decline in heart failure. The doctors have ignored it for ages, but finally two lovely young Community Practitioners took everything on board and she was admitted as an emergency case.
Nine hours later she still wasn’t on a ward, so I was forced to go home. This morning, established the ward she was on but couldn’t speak to anyone. Eventually was rung by a physio, who, despite being given up to date contact details numerous times still managed to contact the wrong person. However, got sorted and she was very helpful. The upshot was that she was being treated and she probably would need to be moved from emergency care while her ongoing care needs were assessed. I understood that everything would need to be reviewed and she said there would be a planning review later in the day.
A couple of hours later, the hospital social worker rang and said that all plans had been changed. She would not be moved to observational care while treatment was ongoing. They intended to simply discharge her and wanted me to arrange a ‘facility’ for her to go to. She cannot stand up unaided, her legs are still weeping badly and nothing has been done about the heart problems. I said that I had no objections to a ‘best interests’ discussion about what should happen next, but that I was adamantly opposed to a discharge without that happening. She said she would pass the info on.
A couple of hours later, I got a call from a very patronising young consultant (only know ‘young’ because I googled him) who mansplained that I needed to understand that people get admitted to hospital to be assessed and possibly given emergency treatment, but after that, they do not need to be in hospital even if they are no better than they went in. I said very patiently that after 67 years on the planet (way more than he’s got), I thought I understood how hospitals worked, but I couldn’t accept that after fighting so long for any sort of medical help for my aunt, they expected me to find a care facility to discharge her to with no notice whatsoever. He said he couldn’t understand my attitude, even though this was 3.30 in the afternoon and they wanted to discharge her immediately. I’m afraid that after two days of stress and phone calls, I totally lost my temper. I told him exactly what I thought of him and his Hippocratic Oath and said that I was relinquishing my responsibility and support for my aunt forthwith. She will now become the responsibility of Social Services. Then I hung up on him.
It breaks my heart to give up on J, something I said I’d never do. I’m the only person she’s got. But I can’t do this anymore. I simply cannot fight a system thst doesn’t care, that has no humanity and isn’t willing even to work with families. The NHS doesn’t give a **** about anybody. For the sake of my own health, I need to step aside. This has never really been my responsibility, now I need to let it go.
Sorry for the rant. I know others have experienced dreadful treatment from medical services, so I shouldn’t be surprised. But I was so pleased that finally she was getting some much needed attention. I’m devastated it’s ended like this.
Nine hours later she still wasn’t on a ward, so I was forced to go home. This morning, established the ward she was on but couldn’t speak to anyone. Eventually was rung by a physio, who, despite being given up to date contact details numerous times still managed to contact the wrong person. However, got sorted and she was very helpful. The upshot was that she was being treated and she probably would need to be moved from emergency care while her ongoing care needs were assessed. I understood that everything would need to be reviewed and she said there would be a planning review later in the day.
A couple of hours later, the hospital social worker rang and said that all plans had been changed. She would not be moved to observational care while treatment was ongoing. They intended to simply discharge her and wanted me to arrange a ‘facility’ for her to go to. She cannot stand up unaided, her legs are still weeping badly and nothing has been done about the heart problems. I said that I had no objections to a ‘best interests’ discussion about what should happen next, but that I was adamantly opposed to a discharge without that happening. She said she would pass the info on.
A couple of hours later, I got a call from a very patronising young consultant (only know ‘young’ because I googled him) who mansplained that I needed to understand that people get admitted to hospital to be assessed and possibly given emergency treatment, but after that, they do not need to be in hospital even if they are no better than they went in. I said very patiently that after 67 years on the planet (way more than he’s got), I thought I understood how hospitals worked, but I couldn’t accept that after fighting so long for any sort of medical help for my aunt, they expected me to find a care facility to discharge her to with no notice whatsoever. He said he couldn’t understand my attitude, even though this was 3.30 in the afternoon and they wanted to discharge her immediately. I’m afraid that after two days of stress and phone calls, I totally lost my temper. I told him exactly what I thought of him and his Hippocratic Oath and said that I was relinquishing my responsibility and support for my aunt forthwith. She will now become the responsibility of Social Services. Then I hung up on him.
It breaks my heart to give up on J, something I said I’d never do. I’m the only person she’s got. But I can’t do this anymore. I simply cannot fight a system thst doesn’t care, that has no humanity and isn’t willing even to work with families. The NHS doesn’t give a **** about anybody. For the sake of my own health, I need to step aside. This has never really been my responsibility, now I need to let it go.
Sorry for the rant. I know others have experienced dreadful treatment from medical services, so I shouldn’t be surprised. But I was so pleased that finally she was getting some much needed attention. I’m devastated it’s ended like this.
