Hi folks, I’m new to this forum but am so glad I found you all. My husband and I are caring for his mother who is in the early stages of dementia. She currently lives independently in sheltered housing and is so far coping reasonably well with our support and some additional support available in the complex she lives in. As she has forgotten how to use her washing machine, I currently do her laundry. My problem however is that she refuses point blank to let me wash her underwear, and insists on doing that for herself. Which would be fine, except that as her eyesight is failing I have come across some rather nasty looking pants etc. If she was my mother, I feel I would be able to persuade her to let me wash everything however somehow being a DIL is different. Anyone else have this problem and any ideas how I can get round this. Also she seems unaware that her clothes need regular washing, for instance we were recently o holiday for a week and her weeks washing consisted of 2 towels,1 vest and one pair of trousers. I’ve tried going through her wardrobe and drawers to look for things that need washed but she gets defensive and I have to stop looking as I don’t wish to upset her or encroach on her privacy. Any ideas?