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Laughing at inappropriate things

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Jaxx, Sep 3, 2015.

  1. Jaxx

    Jaxx Registered User

    Jun 2, 2015
    17
    Preston, Lancashire
    #1 Jaxx, Sep 3, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2015
    Mum was only diagnosed with Alzheimer's in June this year. However I've noticed she's been laughing at inappropriate things or images. For example in town a few weeks ago there was a severely disabled young man with carer walking and vocalising loudly. Mum laughed at him. I told her it was inappropriate as he couldn't help it as he was disabled. She said she hadn't realised he was disabled and thought it was funny. Today whilst watching the news we were watching a piece on the refugee crisis and a father was being torn away from his wife and baby in a train station in Hungary. At one point he was hanging on to his wife's clothing with his teeth in order to try and keep them together. This image made mum laugh again. My question is, do I tell that what she's laughing at are serious issues or is she just reacting to what she can see or hear 'in the moment' as it were and not seeing the big picture? Should I tell her or is ignorance bliss in this instance?
     
  2. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,857
    Female
    Scotland
    She is not seeing what you are seeing. My husband thought the Syrians were complaining about the cold because they had come from a hot country!!

    By all means tell her when she shouldn't laugh in public but it is not out of intentional meanness.
     
  3. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,715
    Female
    London
    Just ignore it. She lives in a different reality.
     
  4. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    1,578
    Female
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    Exactly. What they see and interpret is lost, and social skills go by the wayside.

    My Mum stares at people.
    Out in public if she sees anyone thats, tall, short, disabled, overweight, or anything out of the ordinary, she stares and makes comments.
    She saw a big lady the other days and said " Is she pregnant or is she always like that"
    and with being 5ft, every one is TALL :)
    And she has a thing about peoples eyebrows.

    Mum asked my 18yo son who had rather dark hair if he uses eybrow pencil as his eyebrows were so dark and thick, and how did he get such hairy legs :D
    Thankfully DS takes all these comments in good jest.
     
  5. Ballykeith

    Ballykeith Registered User

    Aug 26, 2013
    24
    Peterborough
    I think a loss of inhibition is a part of Alzheimer's. My mum sometimes makes inappropriate comments and chuckles in front of people. She will also litter and spit, things she'd never have done before the disease set in. If I'm walking ahead of her I'll occasionally turn round to see that she's dropped her pants to have a wee. I was aghast when this first happened but I've learnt to accept these events with a measure of equanimity.
     
  6. greenpea

    greenpea Registered User

    Aug 12, 2014
    57
    My dad recently told a nurse in hospital who was wearing a hijab that she wouldn't need to wear it if she took her curlers out. A few days later, he said in a rather loud voice that the man in the bed opposite reminded him of the bovver boys. Another time, a while back, in town, he bent down and pushed his face in to a homeless man's face and said through gritted teeth, 'I bet you live in a better house than I do.' I could go on. It's one of those things that we just have to cope with.
     
  7. Ballykeith

    Ballykeith Registered User

    Aug 26, 2013
    24
    Peterborough
    Quite greenpea. 'Ground, swallow, up' are words that spring to mind in these circumstances! One such occasion was when I looked around for mum, didn't see her for a minute, then, with utter astonishment, caught sight of her crouched down and weeing in someone's drive. I could really do with a portable hatch to take me below the pavement at times like this.
     
  8. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,783
    Salford
    One of our children had been in a relationship for 2 or 3 years but we'd never met his partner, they live a long way away and neither drive so he used to come on his own.
    First time we met our son's partner my wife straight off said "you've got an enormous bum" to her:eek:
    Having been briefed to "expect the unexpected" she quite patiently explained that it was part of her Afro-Caribbean heritage and she was quite happy with her shape.
    I defence of what someone with AZ might say, some of the rudeness directed at my wife when she wanders a bit in the supermarket or wherever is every bit as bad, the "get out of my way" attitude of some people is every bit as bad, OK they don't know she has AZ maybe they just think she's inconsiderate or been drinking.
    K
     

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