Hello all,my mother has gone into the later stage of VD & Altzheimers and now is unable to swallow ( due to brain problems not physical ability) and is only taking very small amounts of pureed food.Care home doing a great job of trying to encourage eating but my mother seems to have given up on life and has had a rapid decline in all faculties ,incontinence,holding her head up and speaking.She does not know me and is always asleep .How long will she suffer ?
Later stage VD & Alzheimer's
- Thread starter Devon belle
- Start date
@Devon belle I've just replied to your other thread in "End of Life Care". I'm sorry to hear about your mother. It's really hard to watch someone we love suffering like this.
I'm afraid there's no simple answer as to how long your mum will go on. Some can go for a very long time on seemingly very little amounts of food or drink. Others seem to pass away after just a couple of weeks. I think it depends a lot on factors like their health other than the dementia, their age, things like that.
It's a very tough time though. Do keep posting if you need to offload. There's always someone online here, and so very many of us have been through similar experiences.
I'm afraid there's no simple answer as to how long your mum will go on. Some can go for a very long time on seemingly very little amounts of food or drink. Others seem to pass away after just a couple of weeks. I think it depends a lot on factors like their health other than the dementia, their age, things like that.
It's a very tough time though. Do keep posting if you need to offload. There's always someone online here, and so very many of us have been through similar experiences.
@Devon belle
I have no answer, not got to this stage yet, but wanted you to know i’m thinking of you.
Take care. Always happy to listen. X
I have no answer, not got to this stage yet, but wanted you to know i’m thinking of you.
Take care. Always happy to listen. X
Thank you for your kind reply ,my mum is 87 and I hope she is not aware of what is happening to her any more,she was so worried about having to be hoisted and not being able to walk ,so sad to see her today and know she is unable to communicate her feelings and is always asleep when I visit her
Hello there. How long? I wish I knew. Mum has been bed ridden, always asleep, pureed food and all the other stuff that comes with this evil illness for over a year now. Everyday I hope it will be the last for my lovely mum 
Im just truely grateful she is in a lovely NH where the love and care is wonderful and respectful. I to hope my mum is not aware of what is happening.
Hugs xx
Im just truely grateful she is in a lovely NH where the love and care is wonderful and respectful. I to hope my mum is not aware of what is happening.Hugs xx
Like others my mother has been at this stage for years now and from your description your mother's decline seems quite rapid.
It was more than 4 years ago when , due to the decline in her brain that she stopped reccognsing that food needed to be swallowed. So pureed food and a variety of techniques to 'encourage' her to swallow. It was just over 3 years ago that she lost the ability to weightbear and how to talk or alert anyone to her needs or respond to her environment, even with a return of a hand squeeze to let you know she's aware you're there. She has long periods when she pretty much sleeps most of the day and so she's been pretty much 'just existing' ever since. After 10 emergency events in the past 6 months she's now on 'thickened liquids' to help get some fluids into her.
It's no life for them , or for us to watch.
It was more than 4 years ago when , due to the decline in her brain that she stopped reccognsing that food needed to be swallowed. So pureed food and a variety of techniques to 'encourage' her to swallow. It was just over 3 years ago that she lost the ability to weightbear and how to talk or alert anyone to her needs or respond to her environment, even with a return of a hand squeeze to let you know she's aware you're there. She has long periods when she pretty much sleeps most of the day and so she's been pretty much 'just existing' ever since. After 10 emergency events in the past 6 months she's now on 'thickened liquids' to help get some fluids into her.
It's no life for them , or for us to watch.
Good morning ,yes my mother's decline came after a fall ,she appeared to be in a lot of pain so painkillers given ,they caused severe nausea ( coffee grounds appearance) ,she also developed thrush in her poor mouth so it was difficult to get her mouth moistened .I believe it is now almost impossible to get her to swallow anything as she just drools it out again ,should this carry on or would it not be kinder to let her go? .Her CH is a lovely place and they are trying to keep her as comfortable as they can.It is my mother's dearest wish to go and help St Francis of Assi with all the animals lets hope she gets her wish soon she would truly be in heaven then
Sounds as if the deterioration following the fall caused your mum to lose her swallowing reflex. That's very hard. It's also the case though that when a person reaches the end of life, their body starts to shut down, and they can no longer process food, so they don't want it. In effect, they don't die because they've stopped eating. They've stopped eating because they are dying. Sometimes though, the person likes to have a little taste of something. The feel of something in their mouth. Tiny half teaspoons of something like yogurt or similar are usually all that can be given.
I think most of us would understand that. But that presumes some sort of comprehension about being able to experience pleasure / comfort form food.
What I object to is basically my mother 'being forced to eat be kept alive', because of awareness of litigation. She's being treated as little more than ' a doll' rather than a human being.
My mum does allow a tiny bit of well mushed ice cream in ( only the end of a teaspoon ) I expect she maybe likes he coolness so perhaps bits of ice might be enjoyed ,I will suggest to CH ,might help with the thrush too ,thank you for your kind reply
@lemonjuice Yes, I can quite understand that. Each person is so different. My husband seemed to enjoy tiny bits of yogurt, but it was literally half a teaspoon a couple of times a day. I think it was more to refresh his mouth than anything else. And, of course, my husband did not linger on as your poor mum has.
This is exactly my take on forcing my mother to try and lift her head so a spoon can be forced between her lips ,I have asked that should it distress her to cease and just try to moisten her mouth ,on dear what a dilemma ,so very sad
You see either
my mother no longer has enough capacity to show distress (and hasn't generally had for some years now)
or it's a bit like a mis-treated child who no longer cries or shows any distress through years of mistreatment and realsing it never makes any difference, so becomes 'totally compliant' and unresisting.
I know the NH always insist my mother shows no signs of distress and one has to look very carefully at my mother's facial expression and spot the little 'furrow lines between the brows' to indicate that something is not quite right.
My dad has vascular dementia. He has had several TIA’s the last few months following a major stroke 18 years ago from which he recovered except for a flaccid arm and right hand. He could work for the therapists in rehab 6 weeks ago, but now sleeps at home the past 10 days all night and most of the day -even when eating, which he has always enjoyed so much. I am tempted to just keep feeding him all day to give him more energy. He takes vitamins, which I crush along with all his meds given in applesauce, but just can’t really hold his head up very long now -after doing so well a month ago with in home health. Now he seems powerless to stay alert to watch television. I don’t know if this means He is at the end. He could play dominoes well until this recent dozing constantly stage. I don’t know if I should ask for a Hospice interview or not
Hello @Caringdaughter1 and welcome.
Have you had your dad checked by a doctor, just to be sure there is nothing else going on, like an infection?
Meanwhile, if you start a thread of your own, more people will see your post and respond with support and advice. To start your own discussion:
1. Find a forum that is relevant for you [e.g. I care for a person with dementia ]
2. At the top, you'll see a button called 'Post New Thread' - click or tap on this.
3. Add a discussion title and below, add your message. Then click or tap the [Submit thread] OR [Create Thread] button.Don't forget to check the "watch thread" box, so you will be alerted to responses to your thread.
Have you had your dad checked by a doctor, just to be sure there is nothing else going on, like an infection?
Meanwhile, if you start a thread of your own, more people will see your post and respond with support and advice. To start your own discussion:
1. Find a forum that is relevant for you [e.g. I care for a person with dementia ]
2. At the top, you'll see a button called 'Post New Thread' - click or tap on this.
3. Add a discussion title and below, add your message. Then click or tap the [Submit thread] OR [Create Thread] button.Don't forget to check the "watch thread" box, so you will be alerted to responses to your thread.
