1. Codie

    Codie Registered User

    Aug 25, 2004
    10
    Berkshire
    Hello all
    I haven't been on here for a long time but just needed to talk as I've come back from the memory clinic where I took my Mum. She is now in late stages and they are taking her off aricept and told me to expect a possible sudden decline and that Mum may live for a year plus but that equally the winter may prove too much if she gets a cold and pneumonia catches hold. Mum is still very sweet and knows who I am but they said this may change shorlty but also may not. This is very hard as we are all bad at the unknown.

    I was thinking of taking a sabbatical from work but if Mum lives for 18 month or this would be daft. What is she doesn't. I really don't know what to do. Also I have some short brakes planned and of course and feeling guilty and worried if I go away she will die.

    Hope all is OK with you out there.
    Thanks for listening
     
  2. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    1,370
    Newport, Gwent
    Hi Codie

    I am so sorry your mum has declined in her AD.

    I am amazed that any doctor would go so far as to put a time limit on life expectancy.

    but that equally the winter may prove too much if she gets a cold and pneumonia catches hold.

    I find this a bizarre statement to make, any person in advancing years could fall prey to this, not just those with AD.

    Personally I would try to put these statements to the back of your mind, live your life as you normally would. Take each day as it comes, and make decisions based on what you actually see, and not what might happen.

    My mum went on ‘medication strike’ some time ago now, she is not taking her Aricept, and none of the medications prescribed for her heart condition. I appreciate not everyone is the same, but bless her, mum seems to me to be no more confused and forgetful as she was before when taking the medication.

    Everyone is different, your mum may stay at this stage for a very long time to come.

    Love

    Cate
     
  3. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    39,438
    The one thing I would question is: why are they taking her off the aricept if they think there might be a decline? I mean to say, by all means remove it if it's no longer working, but if they mentioned a possible decline, that would imply to me that it IS still working.
     
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    17,000
    SW Scotland
    Hi Codie

    Your mum sounds to be in about the same stage as my husband, and it's very hard to come to terms with. No-one has given me a time-scale though, and I don't think you should put too much trust in that. As everyone on TP knows, every sufferer is different, and there is no possible answer to 'how long?'

    My advice would be to continue with your work to see how thing go, but of course it's your decision, and if you feel that you should take a sabbatical, then that's what you must do. It's important for you to know you've done everything possible, but don't put your career in jeopardy.

    The same applies to your breaks. Go if you feel comfortable, your mum will be looked after, and we all need breaks. But not if you're going to be too worried to enjoy the rest.

    As for coming off aricept, have they told you that if there is a sudden decline, she can go back on it? This is what generally happens when people reach late stages. They are tried without, to see if it is still making a difference, and put back on if necessary.

    Let us know how things go,

    Love,
     
  5. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Your Mum went to the memory clinic?

    Your Mum knows who you are?

    Unless there is more information available than you have said, I'd be thinking it is impossible to predict the next year or more.

    My Jan passed the stage you describe six years or more ago. I expect her to remain in her current state for several - if not many - more years. She may even outlive me. Jan was a Young Onset person, which may make a difference.

    By all means take a sabbatical, so you can together enjoy the present.

    However - do what YOU feel you need to do, for Mum and for your own peace of mind.

    Good luck
     
  6. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    3,388
    Buckinghamshire
    Hello Codie,
    Consultants & Doctors cannot give me a time scale with my husband who is 62 and in the final stages. I just take each day as it comes, dreading the telephone in case it is bad news. The Care Home are brilliant. On Sunday I gave Peter a kiss and a cuddle and said Hello Peter - I got a lovely smile. That made my day until one of the Staff came up and said hello Peter with her arm around his shoulder then I reliased that I was not there as his wife but another person who comes and cuts his nails, try to give him a shave etc.. The hurt was, she got the same responce from him as I did. Each time I go I see more deterioration. Get in my car, have a cigarette to calm me down (never use to smoke) before I drove home. I get indoors then the tears come. I miss his blue sparkling eyes, happy eyes that use to look so lovingly at me. I hate this disease the same as everyone else and all we try to do, we cannot stop loving the person before A.D. and hating what A.D. does to our loved ones.
    I wish you all the best. Christine
     
  7. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    4,348
    Birmingham Hades
    #7 Norman, Sep 25, 2007
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2007
    hI Codie

     
  8. Taffy

    Taffy Registered User

    Apr 15, 2007
    1,314
    Hi Codie, I feel Cate has summed this up very well. I am also sorry to hear of your mum's decline. Others here have given you good advice regarding the medication and your future plans. In whatever you decide I wish you well. Regards Taffy.
     
  9. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,871
    Kent
    Hello Codie,

    I`m sorry the medics have put you under the pressure of a time scale which may or may not be reliable.

    Try, if you can, to forget it and enjoy as much of your mother`s time as you can. Be grateful she is sweet and knows who you are. That`s lovely for the present.

    Taking a sabbatical would mean you will be living in a countdown situation.

    Love xx
     
  10. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    #10 Margarita, Sep 25, 2007
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2007
    My mother was in the last stage of AZ when given exbiza , now knowing the decline that she would of gone into if not given Exbiza and that really they no time scale now long they can live in the last stages am glad mum got medication for the last stages .

    Did you not or did they not talk to you about giving your mother Exbixa when taking her of aricept ?


    My doctor won't take my mother of Ebiza because he said she could have a stroke , may be because she would go into a stage that she would not take her medication for diabetic . that just it Doctor make those statements but do not explain further or maybe it was I because I was so stock in hearing that , she would decline so much that she would have a stroke, so did not ask for further explanation in why that would happen . So left it at that mum still on Exbiza .

    I do feel for you and do like cate Advice when she says
     

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