Just wanted to tell you all of my worst day ever.
I have finally thrown in the towel. As I write this Jim is in emergency respite,
I have battled this horrible disease all the way with him but I cannot physically or mentally cope any more.
Only recently has he reluctantly gone to a day centre for one day a week ..we were allocated two by SS but Jim nagged pleaded threatened until I gave in and said one day would be fine.
I am physically disabled with Rheumatoid Arthritis and I Also have Angina and high blood pressure. I am in receipt of the middle rate of care and higher rate for mobility DLA so I should be getting help washing dressing and preparing a meal. Instead of which I have been full time carer for my Husband with Alzheimer's disease,
he now requires help with dressing , showering and cannot cook a meal or make a hot drink for himself.
his behaviour is challenging and he will not let me rest ...if I fall asleep in the chair he shouts and wakes me up ..on occasions telling me I am Lazy and stealing his time. He has no sense of time and will wake me up in the early hours of the morning thinking it is mid day again telling me I am stealing his time.
This one day of him going to the day centre was to be my lifeline five whole hours to myself whoopee.
However today he had only been gone an hour when the day centre rang to say he was insisting on coming home he was getting very agitated and aggressive with them.......I just burst into tears and said I cannot cope any more I needed this time to myself..the conclusion to this sorry tale is that someone from the memory clinic at the hospital was called out and came to the day centre to see him ( my children were involved by this time as my son had called and heard me on the phone to the day centre crying) they managed to persuade Jim that he needed to go into respite as I was ill and couldn't look after him it took three hours for them to talk him into it ,...if he still refused they were prepared to section him.
Anyway he is now in emergency EMI unit at a local Nursing Home I have not seen him since I took him to the Day centre this Morning...I have an appointment with my GP in the morning as everyone thinks I am having some sort of breakdown and need some medication .
I feel so guilty and useless especially knowing how worse off so many people on TP are. As I am feeling now no matter what care package they offer I cannot cope with looking after Jim at home...I know Jim will not want to go into full time care so I will have no option other than to leave my home and look for somewhere to live
All the Advise I was given today when I said what about emergency respitewas ....you will have to pay for it...I don't care about paying I just want out of this crazy crazy world .
I an sorry if I offend anyone by seeming so selfish thanks for reading through this tirade.
god Bless
Judith
I have finally thrown in the towel. As I write this Jim is in emergency respite,
I have battled this horrible disease all the way with him but I cannot physically or mentally cope any more.
Only recently has he reluctantly gone to a day centre for one day a week ..we were allocated two by SS but Jim nagged pleaded threatened until I gave in and said one day would be fine.
I am physically disabled with Rheumatoid Arthritis and I Also have Angina and high blood pressure. I am in receipt of the middle rate of care and higher rate for mobility DLA so I should be getting help washing dressing and preparing a meal. Instead of which I have been full time carer for my Husband with Alzheimer's disease,
he now requires help with dressing , showering and cannot cook a meal or make a hot drink for himself.
his behaviour is challenging and he will not let me rest ...if I fall asleep in the chair he shouts and wakes me up ..on occasions telling me I am Lazy and stealing his time. He has no sense of time and will wake me up in the early hours of the morning thinking it is mid day again telling me I am stealing his time.
This one day of him going to the day centre was to be my lifeline five whole hours to myself whoopee.
However today he had only been gone an hour when the day centre rang to say he was insisting on coming home he was getting very agitated and aggressive with them.......I just burst into tears and said I cannot cope any more I needed this time to myself..the conclusion to this sorry tale is that someone from the memory clinic at the hospital was called out and came to the day centre to see him ( my children were involved by this time as my son had called and heard me on the phone to the day centre crying) they managed to persuade Jim that he needed to go into respite as I was ill and couldn't look after him it took three hours for them to talk him into it ,...if he still refused they were prepared to section him.
Anyway he is now in emergency EMI unit at a local Nursing Home I have not seen him since I took him to the Day centre this Morning...I have an appointment with my GP in the morning as everyone thinks I am having some sort of breakdown and need some medication .
I feel so guilty and useless especially knowing how worse off so many people on TP are. As I am feeling now no matter what care package they offer I cannot cope with looking after Jim at home...I know Jim will not want to go into full time care so I will have no option other than to leave my home and look for somewhere to live
All the Advise I was given today when I said what about emergency respitewas ....you will have to pay for it...I don't care about paying I just want out of this crazy crazy world .
I an sorry if I offend anyone by seeming so selfish thanks for reading through this tirade.
god Bless
Judith