Last Rites

Andyp101

Registered User
Dec 5, 2017
37
0
Hi Everyone,

I wanted to drop a line to say 'Thank you' to all the support and advice I have been given here and to update.

A brief recap: my Mum is in a care home - a not very good one - and has come off the back of four unwitnessed falls, horrific trips (for her and me trying to calm her) to A & E, long stays in hospital (the last one being for sepsis) and three days back at the care home where she finally has given up.

At the same time my sister filed spurious charges with Social Services and I faced Safeguarding. Not one charge as I thought in my previous post but FOUR! I couldn't believe it. Social Services in their wisdom put restrictions on my visiting my mother of limited hours and someone sitting in with me. It was so intrusive, so embarrassing to try and talk to my Mum - to say something that matters to her - while someone is sat watching not two feet away.

I asked Social Services to explain why this was imposed, what were the 'charges', etc but they never replied.

My mother has now been fast tracked. She sleeps, does not swallow food or water anymore, and at the most murmurs a reply. When the care home asked the GP to visit he refused, saying there was nothing more he could do. Wonderful.

I arranged Last Rites yesterday. A priest from her local church which she used to attend before she went into the care home. I am not religious but it broke me up. I couldn't stop crying.

When I saw Mum, when she was responsive, I used to joke with her 'Who's my gorgeous girl?' and she would say 'I am'. I said it to her yesterday and I got a mumble.

Nothing more to say. Just wanted to share some of my sorrow and anger.
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
5,395
0
Dorset
Hold on to the fact that when you asked your normal loving question that she heard, understood and was able to respond even though it came out as just a ‘mumble’ to you. Your Mum knows you are there with her and for her and that is what matters!
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
Im so sorry
Im glad you managed to arrange for the priest to come.
She will know that you are there - hearing is the last sense to go - so talk to her, even if she is unable to reply
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))
 

Kikki21

Registered User
Feb 27, 2016
2,270
0
East Midlands
Oh bless you, it is very heart rending. I have just been through this with my mum & she was largely the same as your mum as she woke up a bit on the Sunday & asked for a priest to come. She had already seen a priest a few times but this request worried us. The priest came relatively quickly & gave her the Last Rites. My mum thanked me.....she fell further into unconsciousness, still stirred a few times & really tried to rouse on Monday but couldn’t manage more than a few words & sadly passed away in the early hours of Wednesday morning.
I’m sure she knew we were there by her bedside as will your mum xx
 

father ted

Registered User
Aug 16, 2010
734
0
London
A lonely, difficult time for you but in her own way your Mum is responding and will find comfort in having you by her side. X
 

rosy18

Registered User
Jul 23, 2016
1,281
0
Blackpool
My heart goes out to you at such a difficult time. Your dear Mum will know you are there keep talking to her. So pleased you got the Priest for your Mum that too will have meant a lot to her. x
 

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,962
0
Kent
Very tough for you but you are giving your mum great comfort being with her. I too organised last rites for my dad and in doing what I know he would have wanted..was unconscious by that stage...it comforted me too knowing I had fulfilled his wish so I hope you can feel a similar fulfllment.
 

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