Last hurdle - how to her mum to care home tomorrow morning!

[Louise7]

I think mum feeds of my energy and knows when I am nervous and anxious - which leads her to be like that also.

Yes, that's exactly what happens. Try not to appear nervous when you visit. As difficult as it is, walking in with a big smile, saying how lovely the place/her room is and distracting really helps. Always act and speak positively even if you don't feel it. Frequently packing is a common problem but if your Mum still has bags/cases in her room removing these may help. Good luck!

 

[Cat27]

I’m so pleased for you @Lindie16. I hope your first visit goes well.

 

[anxious annie]

I'm really pleased that you were able to sort out the move and that your mum is being well cared for. Good luck for your visit to the home

 

[Sarasa]

So glad you got her into the home at @Lindie16, and hope the visit goes well.
I've finally managed to get mums bags out of her room and I think that might be helping her settle, as she was getting confused as to whether she was staying or not.

 

[AshestoAshes]

Really pleased it is better now. I will have to do this soon with my dad and I can easily imagine this happening with him so it's given me some useful tips to think about, thanks.

 

[Bod]

Visit just before lunch.
You will have to take the dog away during meal times. (Care Home/Heath & Safety ETC)
Keep the visit short 15 mins max to start.

Bod

 

[Guzelle]

I’m in the same situation with my OH. He is going into respite next Sunday but tomorrow he is going for an assessment. I am having an operation on my left eye and need to rest afterwards. Now I’m wondering if instead of one week I should ask for two.

He has gone down hill lately with memory, not walking aswell, more confused and not getting words out. I am wondering if a permanent care home would be best. I’m not sure how he will take it as he just wants me all the time.

 

[Shedrech]

hi @Guzelle
definitely ask for 2, you must make sure you recover properly .... is the home where you might choose for a permanent move; if so chat with the manager and ask how viable this would be if you decided to extend the respite indefinitely

 

[Guzelle]

Yes it could be permanent so if he does settle I will be happy for him to stay. It’s very worrying how he will react to it all. I just hope he doesn’t refuse to go!

 

[canary]

I just hope he doesn’t refuse to go!

Do as @Lindie16 did - tell him you are going out for coffee and cake. Maybe get a friend or relative to come with you. Prime the care home about your fears and concerns. When he gets there the care home staff will be well used to this and when he is distracted make your escape.

 

[Guzelle]

Yes he is going tomorrow for a few hours and assessment but they want me to leave him there. So I will sneak out and come back later. I’ve no one I can take with me unfortunately but sometimes it makes him worse if someone else is with us!